21/08/2025
10 WISE DECISIONS TO MAKE BEFORE SAYING “I DO”:
Building the Foundation for a Lifelong Marriage
© Samuel Olagbenjo
Before walking down the aisle, there are foundational decisions that must be made—not about the wedding day, but about the lifetime that follows. These decisions will shape not only your marriage but your future peace, purpose, and posterity. Love may initiate a relationship, but wise decisions sustain it. Here are 10 life-shaping decisions you must settle before you marry:
1. đź“ŤDecide to Enjoy, Not Endure Your Marriage
Marriage should not be a survival contest but a joyful journey. Make a conscious decision to create a home filled with laughter, intimacy, and friendship. Challenges will come, but choose joy every day. Choose to celebrate each other, not tolerate one another. “Your attitude will determine your atmosphere.” Make your marriage a place of peace and pleasure.
2. đź“ŤDecide to Be a Blessing, Not a Burden
Go into marriage with a giving mindset. Be someone who adds value, uplifts, supports, and multiplies joy. Spiritually, emotionally, financially, intellectually, and practically—be an asset, not a liability. Let your spouse wake up every day thanking God for your life. “A great spouse is not found, but formed—by deciding to be one.”
3. đź“ŤDecide to Love Deeply and Consistently
Don’t marry out of pity, pressure, fear, or lust. Marry out of genuine love, and commit to loving that person in word and deed. Love is not just a feeling—it is a daily decision to be kind, patient, forgiving, and present. “True love is proven more in the valleys than on the mountain tops.”
4. đź“ŤDecide to Respect and Honor Your Spouse Always
Whether your spouse is wealthy or struggling, educated or learning, high-ranking or humble—decide beforehand to honor them. Respect builds trust and makes your spouse feel safe, seen, and valued. “Where there is no honor, love cannot thrive.”
5. đź“ŤDecide to Make Your Marriage Work No Matter What
Marriage isn’t magic—it takes work. Storms will come, disagreements will arise, and emotions will fluctuate. Decide before you marry that quitting is not an option. You are not just entering marriage; you're entering a covenant. “Successful marriages are not made in heaven—they are built by two determined people on earth.”
6. đź“ŤDecide to Be Quick to Forgive
You're marrying a human being, not an angel. They will fail you, offend you, and even disappoint you sometimes. Without a forgiving heart, bitterness will seep in. Learn the habit of quick, sincere forgiveness. “The best marriages are between two great forgivers.”
7. đź“ŤDecide to Remain Faithful, Come What May
Temptations will come after the vows. You will meet people who seem more attractive or exciting than your spouse. But faithfulness is a personal choice, not an emotional reaction. Decide today to remain sexually, emotionally, and spiritually faithful—no matter what. “Faithfulness is not about availability; it’s about integrity.”
8. đź“ŤDecide to Raise Godly and Disciplined Children
Children are not just biological products; they are spiritual assignments. Before you marry, agree with your partner to raise children who know and fear God. Don’t wait until they arrive to decide how they’ll be raised. “Your greatest legacy may not be what you do, but who you raise.” (See Proverbs 22:6)
9. đź“ŤDecide to Prioritize Communication Over Assumption
Unspoken expectations k!ll more marriages than outright betrayal. Decide that in your marriage, you will talk, not assume. You will express feelings, listen deeply, and clarify confusion. Don’t let silence or pride destr0y your intimacy. “Good communication is the oxygen of a healthy marriage.”
10. đź“ŚDecide to Seek God Together Always
Before you choose a spouse, choose to make God the foundation of your future home. Pray together. Study the Word together. Serve together. When God is at the center, storms won’t tear you apart—they’ll bring you closer. “A Christ-centered marriage is a storm-proof marriage.”
(See Ecclesiastes 4:12 – "A threefold cord is not quickly broken.")
Finally, marriage is not just about finding the right person—it’s about becoming the right person. The decisions you make before marriage will determine the direction and durability of that marriage. So, before you say “I do,” make these wise commitments. Your future self will thank you.
You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name
