Nifty Nuptials

08/07/2025

Last night at a friend's BBQ, I saw why most marriages quietly die. And what actually saves them.

05/07/2025

One of the two will attend the other’s funeral.
Only one will be able to say goodbye and give a final farewell,
and only one will experience their world without the other.

As long as there is life, love deeply, hold tightly, and tell that special person how much they mean to you.
We never know which day will be our last, and for that very reason, cherish every second.
As long as you have each other, make memories —
because in the end, those memories are all that will remain.

05/07/2025

It's a tragic fact that many couples destroy their relationships trying to get their needs met.

When your needs are met, you feel safe, secure, loved.

Simple.

The trouble begins when needs aren't being met.

Because needs have a language, and how you speak this language determines what happens next.

Connection or conflict.
Intimacy or distance.
Love or resentment.

Many of us learned to speak need in the crudest possible way…
Through shame and blame.

"You're so selfish, you never think about anyone but yourself"

This is the language of pain.

It believes that if we make someone feel bad enough about themselves, they'll magically transform into who we wish they would be.

It's also how many of us were spoken to as children.

And it doesn't work.

Shame evokes defence.
Defence provokes conflict.
Conflict creates resentment.

Then there is the more 'sophisticated' approach…

Critical feedback.

"You need to start taking responsibility for your actions. I don't trust you when you don't do what you say you will."

This feels more mature. We're not attacking character, just pointing out what needs to change.

Calmly. Clearly.

We are just speaking the truth, letting them know their mistake so they can do something about it.

Any reaction they have to this just shows how immature THEY are... right?

But underneath the civilised language, it's still the same impulse:
If I show you what you're doing wrong, you'll do it right
(And meet my need)

This creates a subtle hierarchy.
I am the parent, you are the child.
I am right, you are wrong.

And something in the human soul recoils from being spoken down to by someone we love.

For those who don't want to spend their life nagging and criticising comes the relating breakthrough that you will find in thousands of reels, posts and books.

Vulnerably expressing needs.

"I feel anxious when plans suddenly change, it's confusing and disorienting. Can you let me know what happened and why it changed?"

Here we own our experience completely.
No blame, no criticism, no wrong-making.
Just our truth and our need.

It's a huge win to start relating this way, and this can shift a relationship completely from distress to reconnection.

It's also where most relationship advice ends.

But there's one more advanced level, for those who don't want to just sustain a relationship... and instead truly thrive.

The language of desire.

"I love how close we get when we really talk. I want more deep conversations with you."

The orientation shifts from what's missing to what we want more of.

Not "You aren't helping enough"
But "I want to be on a team with you"

Can you feel the difference?

When we speak from desire, something profound happens.

The other person's nervous system completely relaxes.

Instead of bracing against criticism or scrambling to fix problems, they get to step into the joy of giving to someone who already appreciates what they provide.

This generates more.
More generosity.
More gratitude.
More love.

This is one of those secret keys that transforms everything.

"I want more of you"
vs
"You aren't giving me enough."

✍️ Damien Bohler

03/06/2025

eBooks for Every Life: Marriage Advice with Humor for All!

Discover my hilarious eBook series designed to strengthen your marriage with laughter and love! From The Foundations of a Lasting Marriage to profession-specific gems like The Marriage Cockpit (Pilots), The Marriage Classroom (Teachers), The Marriage Courtroom (Lawyers), and The Marriage Fairway (Golfers), there’s a guide for every couple. Packed with witty tips and heartfelt exercises, these eBooks offer practical advice for all walks of life with more books on the way. Click to buy and build a love that lasts

http://www.fionabowden.co.za/ebooks.html

21/04/2025

17/04/2025

PARASYMPATHETIC LO******NG

There are two pathways possible when entering into the realms of erotic arousal.

Broadly the main pathway indulged and promoted by most of the world is what I would call sympathetic.

You know it.

Hot lustful kissing turning into clothes ripping, hard thrusting, full friction, bed shaking and collapse in a sweaty mess.

It always amazes me how in movies and shows characters go from that first kiss to ripping each others clothes off, with the cliched knock something off a table and/or slam against a wall, in like 15 seconds.

Granted it is hot.

It can cause that little stir inside, a little pelvic rock of pleasure and anticipation.

The thing about this pathway of lo******ng, however, is that it requires intensity.

High levels of excitation are required to generate the blood flow necessary for full engorgement and moistening.

Hence the clothes ripping, grabbing, thrusting nature of it.

Hence why addiction to the seeming delights of the adult entertainment industry is such a big problem for many men.

Because, like any thrill seeker… you always need more.

More intensity. More excitement. More heat.

It’s why lo******ng can be so passionate at the beginning of a relationship and then lead to diminishment of desire over time.

It’s hard to continue to generate an ever increasing supply of intensity… especially when you throw kids, jobs, financial stress, familiarity and all the other normal things of life into the mix.

The other pathway, parasympathetic arousal, is fuelled by an entirely different kind of energy.

Safety.

This is the kind of arousal that occurs when you feel so safe, so secure, so stable that your heart opens, your body relaxes, you can just be you in all your beauty and uniqueness.

Arousal from this place is effortless.

It doesn’t require intensity, excitement, friction.

This is the kind of arousal that occurs when your partner smiles at you with loving eyes, and you know they are truly there for you, and you are safe and you don’t have to do anything special to be wanted and loved and then… so naturally, so easily… your body is turned on.

I’ve found that the more safety I develop both in myself and my relationship, the easier it is to find my arousal.

There is no striving. No effort. No need to create any special conditions.

This isn’t “let’s light candles, stare into each others eyes for an inordinate amount of time with the requisite ambient music in the background for long full body massages before special ta***ic lo******ng”.

I mean sure, that’s nice and I’m all for it sometimes when there is time.

Yet this is much simpler.

It’s simply a body that responds to safety as the biggest turn-on.

And you know what… even though I’m 41, this part of my body feels like a teenager all over again. Even though we are past the honeymoon phase.

We can entirely rewire the erotic nature of our nervous system.

In my opinion it’s worth it.

More lo******ng.
More safety.
More love.

~ Damien Bohler

16/04/2025

I hate to say this, but most women will go their entire lifetime and never experience the meaning of actual true love.

It's even slightly depressing to think that most people will never understand how powerful this picture actually is.

This gentleman is a prime example of how men should be treating their partner with everyday that passes.

We unfortunately live in a generation with men who have no idea what it takes to be a real man.

Let me give you a couple examples of a real man ......

A real man asks about your day and genuinely cares about the answer.

A real man respects your boundaries and never forces you to anything you're not ready to do.

He makes time for you, and takes that time to learn and understand who you are as a person.

A real man consistently shows you the definition of effort with every day that passes.

He will call you randomly throughout the day just to check on you and your mental health.

A real man is undeniably committed to you and looks for new ways to fall in love with you with every day that passes.

He makes protecting your heart a number one priority.

A real man never makes permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

He never confuses you on where you stand in his life.

A real man apologizes when he is wrong and stays true to his character.

He doesn't mind hurting other people's feeling to protect yours.

A real man gives you affection without s*xual expectation.

A real man refuses to entertain any women that isn't you.

He has genuine intentions with you from day one and shows you how it truly feels to be a priority rather an option.

A real man will help you heal from the trauma that nobody apologized for.

A real man values you and would never put themselves in a position to lose you.

Take my advice and wait for the man that never let's you fall asleep at night questioning your own self worth.

- Cody Bret

16/04/2025

Ladies, understand this clearly: men pursue women for two main reasons — s*x and love. But here’s the reality that’s often overlooked. Most men do not marry for s*x, and they do not marry solely for love. Men marry for stability.

Let me break this down. A man can love you with all his heart and still not marry you. He can enjoy your company, share intimate moments, and even spend years with you without ever making you his wife. But the moment he encounters a woman who brings stability into his life — true, undeniable stability — he will marry her.

And when I say stability, I’m talking about peace of mind.
I’ve heard men confess, “I love her, but I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with her.”
Why? Because love alone is not enough. S*x is not enough. Men are visionaries when it comes to marriage. They don’t fantasize about wedding dresses, flower arrangements, or the color scheme of the big day. Instead, they ask themselves essential questions: Can this woman build a home with me? Can she nurture me and our future children? Can she give me the peace of mind I crave?

Men run from discomfort. They avoid chaos. This is exactly why a man can stay with a woman for years without commitment, and then meet another woman and marry her within a month. It’s not about how long you’ve known him — it’s about the comfort and calm she brings to his life.

S*x is pleasure. Love is affection. But respect — respect is stability. And stability is what ultimately leads a man to say, “This is the woman I want to build my life with. This is my wife.”

So ladies, don’t just aim to be loved or desired — aim to be a woman of peace. Aim to be the calm in his storm, the stability in his vision, the respect in his heart. Because when a man finds peace with you, he finds his forever in you.

12/12/2024

"Sleigh the holiday season with us! We're thrilled to announce that Nifty Nuptials will be popping back into Ballito from 16th Dec to 4th Jan! It's a Christmas miracle! Reach out to us during this time for all your wedding needs. Can't wait to catch up!"

06/11/2024

🎉🐾 Meet the Head of Barketing at Nifty Nuptials! 🐾🎉
Our Golden Retriever, Chief Fluff Officer & Head of Barketing, wants you to know that December marriage registration slots in Ballito are filling up faster than you can say "woof"! 🐶💍
Don't leave your big day to chance – book now to secure your spot with the Nifty Nuptials pack. Because love is pawsome, and we’re here to make it unforgettable! 💖🐾
📅 Contact us today! www.niftynuptials.co.za

01/11/2024

Introducing Toffee, our head of Barketing, to let you all know that Fiona will be back in KZN from the 17th December until the 5th January. Book your marriage registration or full-blown ceremony now to avoid disappointment.

26/03/2024