06/29/2022
I will be taking the next few days off. I’m sorry if deadlines aren’t made or if it’s been a struggle. I am here and I am healing. I appreciate you all for your patience.
“6 years ago today? We found out we lost our first pregnancy, our Baby Bee.
With all that’s going on right now in the world… I can’t even really comprehend how I feel.
I wanted you. I wanted to love you. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to be your Mommy. I can only imagine who you would have been 6 years later…
I will always wonder who you would have been. But I may have died if I didn’t have the two d&c’s.
This month and today especially I am broken. I don’t know how to comprehend life. I want goodness. I want happiness. I am so sad and I just want to be progressive. It will be okay and every year gets easier. But the hurt is there. I don’t want to think about how bad we hurt. But I want to continue to just be better.
Life will be better. I am supported. I can only hope for the future. And I can only hope that I will be able to have the same options if my body rejects another pregnancy. My life is worth more than this.”