02/28/2023
The top song in the country right now is "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus. The entire premise of the song is that loneliness is good and the only person you ever need is yourself. And if your relationship is falling apart, that's good too.
Breakup songs are a staple of the music industry. However, they used to be about how the relationship wasn't working out anymore instead of broad statements about how the best person for you is you.
Apparently, you can hold your own hand, write your own name in the sand, and talk to yourself like a crazy person, according to Miley Cyrus.
Her song raises the question: Why have a relationship in the first place? Relationships require you to exist outside yourself and not be self-absorbed and self-possessed.
We also tend to believe that love in a relationship is some internal feeling existing inside one person. That is not the way it works. Love is built in the negotiated space between two people.
You might think I'm making more of the song than most people when they listen to it. However, the preemptive strike in "Flowers" is you are better off alone, and if there is going to be somebody else, they have to accept everything about you without question.
So we now have an entire society of lonely, isolated people. 60% of men say that they are no longer in a relationship. Some 40% of women say they are not in a relationship. People are not getting married. People are not having kids. People are not building families.
And the question is, do they seem really happy to you? Miley Cyrus does not look like a particularly happy person. Her life story does not seem to be a happy one. Yet our cultural betters continue to push self-absorption and loneliness upon all of us.