The Love Relationshop

04/11/2026

03/30/2026

Very good information!! 💔➡️❤️‍🩹➡️❤️💕

03/30/2026

DORSAL REST: The Most Important Polyvagal State for Coping with On-Going Trauma

In basic introductions to polyvagal theory, we learn about 3 nervous system states - safe and social, fight/flight, and freeze/shutdown. The safe and social state involves the Ventral Vagus nerve, the fight/flight state involves high activation of the sympathetic nervous system, and the freeze/shutdown state involves high activation of the Dorsal Vagus nerve.

From this simplistic explanation, it is easy to assume that engagement of the Dorsal Vagus nerve is something to be avoided. I have received emails asking “Is Dorsal the bad one?” and “What can I do to get out of Dorsal activation?”

I realize that some of the ways I have presented polyvagal info in the past contributed to this misunderstanding, and many of the sources I have referred people to have further solidified this false idea that Dorsal is bad.

In this post, I want to honor the Dorsal Vagus for its fantastic ability to multi-task, and I hope that by the end, perhaps your view of this nerve will have shifted.

DORSAL REST is a state of dorsal vagus activation that is supported by ventral vagus activation. The activation of the ventral vagus moderates the activity of the dorsal, so that the body system does not go into a freeze/shutdown state.

In this mixed state, we feel low energy or immobilization that is tolerable and not distressing. This state allows the body to rest and rebuild after injury, to properly digest food and absorb nutrition, to access meditative or spiritual states, and to sleep. With the help of the ventral vagus, the dorsal vagus offers us restoration, rejuvenation, and healing.

This is possibly the most important vagal state to know about for long-term trauma recovery, for long-haul covid recovery, and for coping with sysemic traumas that push us towards burnout. Our bodies require regular activation of the dorsal vagus to heal from normal wear and tear and more frequent activation of the dorsal vagus to heal from trauma.

When we run on high tone sympathetic energy for a long time (months to years), our adrenal resources become depleted. When we eventually crash, we flip from high energy anxiety and hypervigilence to exhaustion and loss of interest in high energy activities. If we cannot access safety at this point, we will become depressed, and the depression will last until we are able to access a sense of safety or refuge somewhere.

Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves or each other about being low energy are the biggest danger cues in our environment. Our society has labeled being low energy as lazy, incompetent, childish, and dysfunctional. When our self-talk is blaming or shaming us for being low energy, our bodies are less capable of using that low energy time for healing. Self-talk is of course not our only barrier to safety, but it is one of the few that is within our control.

Embracing Dorsal Rest has allowed me to better cope with PMDD, a cyclical type of depression that involves severe mood drops just before my period. Those 5-7 days each month still suck, but they suck a little less now that I understand low energy phases are a natural and normal part of my body’s self-healing process. I find that shifting my self-talk changes my experience of how distressing these low energy phases are for me. Thus I have been trying to reframe “sickness behaviors” as “healing behaviors.”

Here is my current list of 100% healthy “healing behaviors” which I find necessary when I am immobilized by my Dorsal Vagus…

Nesting & Naps
Comfort Food
Time and Space Alone
Low energy activities - listening to music, watching Netflix, reading, coloring, meditation, visualizations, breathwork, prayer, yin yoga, constructive rest, visiting with internalized others (inner mentor, inner child, etc)
Sensory Defences - shades drawn, headphones on, humidifier, soft blankets, temp set to a comfy range, etc etc
Doing “nothing” - day dreaming, spacing out, losing time

If I shame myself for any of these, I quickly find myself out of DORSAL REST and into DORSAL FREEZE.

I hope that this post gives you some permission to be slow and restful and know that this is exactly what your body needs.

Do you want to add something to this list? What other traditional “sickness behaviors” would you name as healthy and healing?
📆This text was first shared in 2021. PMDD is not part of my experience after HRT but I still use this list for other chronic illness flares.

📚 Free Infographics about Trauma, Nervous System, and Neurodiversity: linktr.ee/TraumaGeek
🧠 Blog: https://www.traumageek.com/blog
🌠 Want to learn more with me? 50 Vagus Exercises in a Year starts next month! This adventure includes short vagus exercises videos every month, a live zoom Q&A session each month, and several more ways to learn with me. Last year we had about 400 people participate!
Details here: traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/50-vagus-exercises-in-a-year-two

09/10/2025

https://songer.co/song/x145cetb3afbmbdvfn9k8pok

Lyrics to LMAO LOGA Theme Song

Verse 1
When life feels heavy and stress runs wild,
We flip the script with a giggle and smile.
Laughter plus yoga—two powers, it’s true,
We call it LOGA, amazing for you!

Ho ho,
ha ha,
he he—
YAY!

Chorus
Laughter’s the best medicine,
Happiness lifts us up again.
Once we start, we just can’t stop,
Come laugh with us until you drop

Laughing My Anxiety Off!
L – M – A – O … LOGA!
Laughing My Anxiety Off,
L – M – A – O … LOGA!

Ho ho, ha ha, he he—YAY!

Ho ho, ha ha, he he—YAY!

Verse 2
Cortisol lowers, the pressure unwinds,
Dopamine rises, bright in our minds.
Hearts beat stronger, immune power too,
Ha-ha Happy Hour brings health to you!

It’s not about jokes, it’s science at play,
Breathing and moving, the stress melts away.
Laugh with intention, your cells realign,
This healing is joyful, it feels divine!

Your brain can’t tell if a laugh’s fake or real,
So laugh out loud—it helps you to heal.
Fake it a little, don’t wait to start,
It still brings healing deep in your heart!

Chorus
Laughter’s the best medicine,
Happiness lifts us up again.
Once we start, we just can’t stop,
Come laugh with us until you drop

Laughing My Anxiety Off!
L – M – A – O … LOGA!
Laughing My Anxiety Off,
L – M – A – O … LOGA!

Ho ho, ha ha, he he—YAY!

Verse 3
From children and teens to the college crowd,
Grandmas and grandpas laughing out loud.
Teachers, nurses, and office teams,
All find new joy that fuels their dreams.

HR leaders are opening doors,
Hospitals, boardrooms, factories, stores.
Families, neighbors, and friends all agree—
Loose your anxiety in our community!

Chorus
Laughter’s the best medicine,
Happiness lifts us up again.
Once we start, we just can’t stop,
Come laugh with us until you drop

Laughing My Anxiety Off!
L – M – A – O … LOGA!
Laughing My Anxiety Off,
L – M – A – O … LOGA!

Ho ho, ha ha, he he—YAY!

Bridge
Step right in to The Love Relationshop,
Where joy and connection are always on top.
We bust the myths, we make love smart,
Laughter’s the tune that heals our hearts.

Your Tampa Love Muse is lighting the way,
With magic and science to brighten your day.
Through laughter and learning, we all renew,
LOGA brings out the best in you!

Final Chorus (big finish)
Laughter’s the best medicine,
Happiness lifts us up again.
Once we start, we just can’t stop,
Come laugh with us until you drop

Laughing My Anxiety Off!
L – M – A – O … LOGA!
Laughing My Anxiety Off,
L – M – A – O … LOGA!

Ho ho, ha ha, he he—
Ho ho, ha ha, he he—
Ho ho, ha ha, he he—

YAY!

03/14/2025

03/14/2025

Yes!!! ❤️

03/14/2025

03/14/2025

Cuddling literally strengthens your heart and lowers blood pressure.

Cuddling isn't just a warm and fuzzy experience — it has real health benefits that can improve your heart and overall well-being. 💔❤️‍🩹❤️

When you snuggle up with someone you care about, your body releases oxytocin, often called the "love hormone," which helps lower stress and reduce levels of cortisol, the hormone responsible for anxiety. This natural relaxation response can lower blood pressure, easing the strain on your heart. While studies suggest women may experience this benefit more strongly, both men and women can enjoy the heart-healthy effects of physical affection.

Beyond heart health, cuddling also has pain-relieving properties. The oxytocin released during a warm embrace can block pain signals, offering natural relief from discomfort.

This effect is so powerful that researchers are exploring ways to harness oxytocin for medical treatments. Whether it’s a hug, a snuggle, or simply holding hands, these small gestures can have a big impact on your emotional and physical health. So the next time you’re feeling stressed or in pain, consider reaching out for a cuddle—it might be just what your body needs.

03/14/2025

Absolutely 💚