06/12/2024
John – Dad and Father’s Day
Most of us love our dad. Our dad was or is in some fashion our hero, our comfort, our guide throughout our life, our teacher, our corrector. My dad did all those jobs and did them well. But what I remember and what sticks out is the throbbing in my heart and head caused by his early death at age sixty-two years. And it happened in 1973. Even now the abrupt end to his life when remembered causes such pain. Does it show in me that pain? No, most would not know. June 6, 1911, was his birthday and later on June 6, 1945, was the nation’s D-day. But D-day for me would always be August 17, 1973, when he left us.
John was a quiet man, expressive when needed. He was a brilliant engineer who performed amazing feats in metallurgy. John’s contracts with the Corps of Army Engineers for the first atomic subs startled others with his successful adapting to what was needed when others could not perform. His building a stainless-steel cross still standing in St. Augustine, Florida on the sea shows his vision beyond business as did his boat entry in the National Boat Show some many years back of a stainless-steel boat with a jet-propelled engine and winning recognition. He took me on many business trips. I sat in industry sales-offices. I watched him and others. I learned. He was a patient man but insisted on proper work. He could not abide those who did not try their best. He accepted error in others and in me, but he did not accept lack of motivation. He was a loving man to us, five children: three boys and two girls. He was an exceptionally proud husband to his Kay. And he had eleven living grandchildren before he died. He thought they were the wonders of the world. He so missed not seeing them and the last one never knew his grandpa.
At home he cooked Sunday dinners with Mom as his sous chef or we traveled to mountains and lakes and ate out at some wonderful restaurants. This was at a time when he had gained an economic status that surprised him and allowed eating in restaurants. Dad and his Kay (our mom) married in 1933 post-depression, and it required his working three jobs to stay afloat. He was not a partier but enjoyed family and family weddings and parties. For business meetings, John held his own. He was self-aware of his talents and what he could do. In other settings he was the quiet man.
I took his presence to heart when I chose Joe as my husband. Two men opposite in culture and interests but alike in the ability to love and endure.
To all of you who have loved a good man, husband, or father, and now miss him, I send love and the reminder: we have been lucky.
K.B.Pellegrino, Author
