05/18/2026
Gloria & Tim... “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone”
Two people, so deeply in love i can only compare it to the likes of: Sam and Frodo.
Quick tangent: DO NOT EVEN COME AT ME WITH THE “bUt SaM mArRiEd A gIrL” BS. Sam and Frodo traveled all that way to Mt. Doom together, stressed as hell that they’re gonna die at any given moment. And you’re gonna tell me not once found comfort in each others hobbit bodies? They didn’t have any late night huddles around the fire, all sweaty and downtrodden, maybe splitting a Poh-Tay-Toe, and never once said “I can’t carry it for you... but I can carry you!” But talking about his “you know what”?
Lmao okay
These wonderful people found me just like the fellowship found their way into Mordor. With determination in their hearts, conviction in their minds, that they needed just the right guy to join their party and journey with them.
When looking for an officiant they yearned for a man who had that, “za-za-zoom”! Someone who could properly tell their love story, make jokes that would deeply resonate, and knew how to dress himself as if he was about to hit the Soul Train line.
We laughed, we teared up, and we had a very Ricky Bobby-esque inspired photo when my time came to an end with these beauties.
If you’re in Seattle and in need of an absolutely unhinged professional human who can bring the extra memories to your best day ever? I deliver better Rohan answer Gondor’s search for aid. 🗡️
(P.S. Gollum absolutely watched as the hobbits-es got it on, don’t @ me.)
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