09/10/2025
Week 1 didn’t go the way you thought it would? Don’t worry—Molly’s got the cure. Say hello to The Painkiller. 🏈🍹
If your team’s on this list, you’ve officially earned one:
Detroit • Baltimore • Los Angeles 🐏 • Kansas City • Seattle • Miami • Houston • Dallas • New York (both of you…) • Atlanta • New England • Tennessee • Carolina • New Orleans • Las Vegas
BTW - this is obviously a joke. It’s only Week 1. Plenty of football left—so take your Painkiller, shake it off, and get ready for Week 2.