02/16/2026
A month ago, I alluded to a life-changing experience that I would share at a later date and today is that day.
Almost 4 years ago my life was permanently changed. I was T-boned at roughly 75 mph (in a 40) on the driver’s side by a person driving up the middle of the road, not even in a lane. On drugs, underinsured, reckless, flying through a major intersection through a long red light.
Since then:
130+ doctors
countless treatments and therapies 
multiple surgeries
and damage that will never fully leave me.
I’ve never acted like a victim or started a GoFundMe - although there has been zero help from the government, but that’s another whole story. I truly needed help.
For a long time I carried anger… not just toward the driver, but toward everything connected to her. Even the house she lived in. There are 3.5 million people in Denver…
and she lived around the corner from me.
Same address, next street. I drove past that house constantly. I could see the house from my master bedroom. It felt personal. Like a daily reminder.
A few months ago, days before what I hoped would be my final surgeries I’m currently recovering from, I did something I never imagined I would do… but it’s something I felt deep in my bones I had to do. Family told me not to. But it was a cathartic experience that was part of what I needed for closure. 
I knew the criminal moved out. I watched it take place before I move to San Diego. Sit down for this…… I knocked on the door. Her mother answered. I expected defensiveness. Excuses. Maybe hostility.
Instead, she teared up and invited me in. Who greeted me he was a stunning 70 year-old, impeccably dressed, black woman who just came back from church. 
We talked for hours about consequences, about addiction, about enabling, therapy, about the ripple effect one decision can have on dozens of lives.
She had no idea whether I lived or died.
And she had been fighting her own painful battle trying to stop a daughter she loved from destroying herself and others. She had to evict this girl from her life. Now she’s writing a book and wants to do motivational speaking regarding the dangers of enabling. 
That day I didn’t find justice. I found perspective. Hate had quietly been tying me to the worst moment of my life. Understanding loosened that grip.
This doesn’t undo what happened. It doesn’t remove responsibility. And it doesn’t erase the damage. But it changed something in me. Over four years of severe pain and some deep depression, I had to accept that the old me is gone and the new me is here. 
Sometimes closure doesn’t come from courts… Sometimes it comes from a conversation you never thought you could have.
Strange world. This is why, more than ever, I demand accountability for everybody. This is why I will spend a tremendous amount of time explaining myself to people who will not listen.
I hope the story has meaning for you. Things are not always as they appear or as we assume. 
