06/27/2021
DISCLAIMER:
If you are squimish about marital intimacy, stop right here. Don’t read this.
I realize as I write this, there may be a few people who will not agree with me, criticize me and even may be downright offended. BUT, I’ve been putting this post off and trying for years to figure out just how to word this, so here goes. I’m not in a popularity contest and I listen to my Father in heaven, not the crowd. I have helped hundreds of married couples discover and rediscover true intimacy in intimacy therapy at my counseling table. Tell me, where do grown people go to be educated and get help and advice on intimacy? They don’t go to their parents! They won’t hear it from the pulpit on Sunday morning. They hear a lot from TV and at the cinema but it is most certainly not Gods plan for mankind; it is warped and sinful and downright ugly. There needs to be education on this most important topic. I’ve been graphic teaching classes on intimacy and counseling couples, one on one for 44 years now, but only 10-15 couples at a time. That doesn’t even scratch the surface. I’ve been thinking about writing a book on it or having a show on it again, but that remains just a thought for now.
Selfishness kills intimacy. Sin kills true pleasure the way God intended for husbands and wives. Po*******hy is at an all time high and is a counterfeit in the marital bed. It re-routes the brain and perpetuates addiction. At our counseling table, there have been many who cannot become aroused without it because they came to rely on it. But it is only a temporary source of excitement. It destroys and replaces tenderness.
Foreplay (for the married!) begins outside of the bedroom and should last all day, in a mild form of flirting, non sexual touches, sweet words and acts of kindness for each other. Sexual love is an art, not simply an act that lasts 10 minutes. I teach a class I call “Would you rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a gourmet meal?”
God intended intimacy for extreme bonding and pleasure and strength in the very fabric of a marriage union. It has been warped by the devil over the years, cheapened and we see increased divorce, 3-somes, repeated affairs and every kind of desensitization to His original intent and great gift in people’s attempt to find satisfaction. But they always come up short because nothing can replace His original plan for our hearts and bodies- he is our Creator and made us to
function one way. When we do it His way, it is like a delicious fruit we have never tasted before- a song with heavenly melodies we never experienced. I am going to have a very important and interesting series of classes on this topic in starting in
August. If you and your spouse are interested in free marital counseling and attending this class, personal message me or email me at [email protected]
Rediscover each other
