05/10/2024
Sometimes, it's not about the money.
Story time.
I have a bride and groom getting married at the end of this month (coming in from California,as it's a destination wedding because the groom's family lives here) and I'm their day of coordinator.
On Thursday of last week, the bride reached out to me letting me know they were dealing with a family emergency situation of the groom and she'd get back with me the following day to update how it could affect the wedding.
On Friday, she calls me back and let's me know everything is fine and they got it worked out.
On Saturday, however, she calls and says things actually took a turn for the worst so they (her and the groom) are having to take an emergency flight into the area to try to see what's going to happen.
On Monday, she calls me and explains the groom's mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (I'm not sure if she's had it and it was under control or if they just recently discovered it, nor did I ask) and that his mother was currently in the ICU and they were trying to get her home under hospice. She explained they were going to cancel the wedding, but one of her last "dying wishes" was that with or without her in attendance that they continued with the wedding because he was her only son and she wanted to know he was finalizing his relationship with someone who made him happy.
Y'all. When I tell you I had to keep my professionalism and composure having this conversation. It literally killed me on the inside. And yes, I'm crying while typing this.
On Tuesday, the bride and groom call and announce they were able to get her home on hospice and ask what they could possibly do to include her in the wedding (in case she couldn't travel there or didn't make it that long). I told them they could find someone who knew how to perform weddings and just have a "mock wedding" with their intimate close family present for his mom's sake and involvement, just to be safe. They claimed they didn't know anyone, due to not being from around here, and with the groom's family being extremely Catholic, they didn't know anyone who would "agree" to do a mock wedding in their home, with it not being official. So, I disclosed that I actually performed weddings along with being a coordinator, but that I wasn't trying to have them use me and I could reach out to someone closer to the groom's home to come perform the wedding. They asked if they could discuss their options and call me back. I told them of course. They called back within an hour and asked if I would be willing to come perform the wedding for them and his mom since they already knew me and were comfortable with me and knew I understood the situation. And I absolutely obliged and told them I would be honored.
So, yesterday afternoon, I made the 1.5 hour drive to the groom's family home and performed the wedding.
I didn't ask for payment. Not even for gas money. Because it felt wrong. I can't even imagine the stress they're going through already and I wasn't about to add to it. And I'll never mention it to them again.
Sometimes, it's not about the money. ♥️
