05/10/2025
Poor Wayne 🤣
đź”” OFFICIAL WARRANT ISSUED: Wayne Morgan
*EVENT SPONSOR*
Crime: Failure to Rehabilitate
Wayne Morgan was once the crown jewel of Okeechobee’s criminal underground, earning the title of Most Wanted at last year’s Jail & Bail. Despite a brief sentence (and ample public shame), Wayne has shown zero remorse and even less reform. If anything, his antics have escalated.
Current Charges Include:
✔️ Relentless teasing of Michael Cauley — especially after last year’s public takedown
✔️ Attempted toupee theft in a desperate effort to "restore what was once his"
✔️ Impersonating a man with a full head of hair (attempted, but not believed)
✔️ Repeated and unauthorized use of dad jokes in professional settings
✔️ Chronic inability to follow basic directions — specifically, all Jail & Bail instructions
✔️ Generalized shenanigans (recurring offense)
Evidence:
📸 Eyewitness accounts, concerning Amazon orders (ball caps, gag books, scalp treatments), and ongoing emotional trauma to Michael Cauley.
Let the record also reflect: Wayne refers to hair loss as “aerodynamic advantage.”
Bail:
💰 A generous donation to the Education Foundation of Okeechobee — supporting programs that uplift students and hold serial offenders accountable.
Or… immediate surrender of all dad joke material and follicle restoration products.
Public Warning:
Subject is considered dangerously punny. He may deflect questioning with wit and sarcasm and may not know how to follow basic instructions — proceed with caution.
👉 You’ve had your fun, Wayne. Now it’s time to face the fundraising.
đź”— https://secure.qgiv.com/event/jailbail2025/account/2017950/
