11/06/2025
UPDATE: Both females have been identified!!! Yall are the best!!!
🚨🛍️ BOLO: The “Maxx-Out Bandits” 🛍️🚨
(AKA: “Checkout? Never heard of her.”)
Date/Time: 10/18/25 @ 1530 hours
Location: TJ Maxx – Newnan
Loot: ~$120 in kids’ clothes
Motive: Dressing their tiny people as CEO’s
________________________________________
🎯 The Dynamic Duo of Discount Disobedience:
👩🦱 Suspect #1
– Large braids
– All black fit: zip-up + shorts
– Carrying a fuzzy green bag
→ The bag had more drip than the crime 💅
→ Also… probably still full of stolen onesies 👶
👩🦱 Suspect #2
– Braids in a top-bun worthy of its own ZIP code
– Black tee + black shorts
– Brought a too-small purse, said:
“It’s okay, I’ll borrow storage from the store!”
________________________________________
🕵️ Their Criminal Genius Plan:
1️⃣ Enter kids' section
2️⃣ Remove items like Oprah:
“You get a shirt! You get a shirt! EVERYBODY GETS A SHIRT!”
3️⃣ Pack the fuzzy bag & a canvas bag they shoplifted WHILE shoplifting
→ Double points for efficiency 🏆
4️⃣ Sprint out like they’re late for a brunch reservation 🍳
5️⃣ Escape in a gold Chevy sedan because… luxury
________________________________________
🧠 Additional Notes
💚 The fuzzy green bag likely answers to the name “Mr. Steal Yo’ Merch”
🚙 If you see a gold Chevy full of toddler outfits… call us
________________________________________
⚖️ Legal Blah Blah
They are presumed innocent until proven guilty…
…but they are DEFINITELY guilty of leaving hangers everywhere 😤
________________________________________
🚔 CALL TO ACTION
Do you:
✅ Recognize them?
✅ Recognize the fuzzy green accomplice?
✅ Have extra hangers we can return to TJ Maxx?
Dial us up. We like tips. We love arrests. We hate stolen toddler jeggings. Reach out to Det. Zach DeBisschop 678-673-5399 or [email protected]
