09/23/2020
Our Story – The story of Duane and Reba
Their story starts with Ted & Reba Hall and Duane & Jan Dopkins . . . .
Ted and Reba moved to Madisonville, Tennessee in August of 1990 leaving behind in Florida all they had known – family, friends, jobs, everything. Duane and Jan moved to Madisonville ten years later from Wisconsin (bringing Jan’s parents with them), in August of 2000. These two couples met at an Eastern Star meeting in Sweetwater in September of 2000 and became friends – treating and loving each other as brothers and sisters. They traveled Tennessee and other states together, shared many meals together in each other’s homes, and shared their families when they came from out of state to visit.
We lost Jan’s parents during the first 10 years, and after a long and courageous battle with kidney failure Duane lost Jan in October of 2013. As friends do, Ted and Reba were there for Duane to help him through. And then in October of 2017 Ted lost his battle with heart disease and diabetes. And Duane was there to help Reba through this loss – being the brother and sister that they each needed at the time but didn’t have here.
After Jan died Duane felt the need for companionship and met many wonderful ladies but never found the right person. Sometime after Ted died Reba had come to a place where she recovered from her grief and mourning for him. All the time she and Duane were there for each other as family should be.
About four months or so ago Reba started struggling with herself and with God about what God was trying to tell her. And as we all know, we can’t win when God makes up his mind. One evening when Duane was over for dinner, she poured out her heart and admitted to him that she had not been honest. With herself, with God, and with Duane. Those feelings she had for him had grown, but she had kept saying to everyone that it was just a brother/sister relationship. She didn’t know how to tell him nor did she know how he felt. They talked for several hours but she still didn’t know how he felt. After he left Reba turned it all over to God and knew that whatever happened – God was in control. Duane came back over the next afternoon and they talked for a while. He left with still no answer. At that point, Reba felt like she had really made a mess of things and didn’t know where to go from there. That Duane didn’t have the same feelings for her as she did for him devastated her. She felt like she had lost her best friend and she didn’t think she could ever go back to being the “sister”.
A couple of days later on Sunday, August 2nd, after the on-line worship service for their church, Reba called Duane just to say hello. He said that he was expecting company for lunch, a former pastor friend. Late that afternoon he called Reba and asked if he could come over. After a while of talking and crying and laughing together, Duane proposed. Of course, she said yes!
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At first, we talked about a spring wedding hoping that the coronavirus would be under control enough that we could get our families and friends together to celebrate this new life together.
Needless to say, after Duane left I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. He left at 10 PM and at 2 AM I was still wide awake – a thousand things going through my mind. As I finally started to doze off sometime after 2, I heard this deep voice say “What are you waiting for? You’ve lost enough time already!” And I kept hearing that voice every time I came up with reasons to wait until spring. When I told Duane the next day he said, “Then God must be telling us that it’s time. Don’t wait!” If we don’t know each other by now, after 20 years of friendship, we never will.
Ted and Jan will always be a big part of our new life together. We were all so close that it just seems natural to include them in our conversations.
We covet your prayers and best wishes as we start our new life together.
Duane and Reba
