08/24/2021
HIGHLAND PARK, Calif., August 29, 2021 -- As the World Waffle Games Opening Ceremony draws closer, the excitement can be felt growing throughout the local waffle community. In anticipation of the event, the organizing body, the Bass Waffles Super-Sticky Sports Committee, released this message to today:
"The BWSSSC is proud to welcome the world's best Waffletes and fans to Los Angeles for our first annual World Waffle Games. We believe that healthy competition and good wafflemanship are key to fostering meaningful international relationships.
The World Waffle Games provide a constructive platform for Wafflympians of all backgrounds to showcase their skills and talents and earn the right to proudly claim the gold waffle for their country. These games are all about honor, pride, and carbohydrates. To celebrate these virtues we are pulling out all the syrup stops for this ceremony. You want Bass? You want Waffles? You better bring your goddamn party pants"
Locals are already getting in the spirit of the event, "I can't f---ing wait, i'm so jacked for the waffle games, I'm boofin' bisquick! get on my level! USA, USA!" said local waffle fan Harry Wookman.
Earlier this week, USA Waffle Team Coach, Gene Speck, had this to say about his team's chances, "USA is the best, it's always been the best, always will be the best... as long as no one on our team blows a gut out, we're gonna batter'em all."
Regardless who takes home the gold, it sounds like this Opening Ceremony will be ridiculously sticky.
WAFFLETES:
SYRUP WILLIAMS
FLAN WHITE
MESSY OWNES
PHICHAEL MELPS
SIMONE PILES'O'WAFFLES
Who do you think will take home the gold???
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SQUID EMOJI AND SYNCHRONISTIC HENNYS