12/24/2025
Oh, Festivus, Festivus, how lovely are my grievances. 🎶 I
It’s been quite a year, once again, and I’ve got a lot of problems with you people!
1. Women’s sports teams called “Lady” whatever
2. A box of wheat thins that are actually kinda thick
3. Maralago face
4. KKKaroline and her lying lips
5. Students who spend more time trying to use AI undetected than it would take to do the actual assignment
6. Technocrats
7. Rolling dumpsters. I mean Cyber trucks
8. Connections dumbest categories. What do you mean ancient Aramaic princes plus L?
9. Kim K’s bush thongs. You know, you don’t have to pay $50 for that aesthetic.
10. Frieda McFadden books - see AI
11. Sexy baby voice
12. 95 streaming services, nothing to watch
13. My bladder
14. “Last Christmas” 🎶- I said what I said and I’ll say it again next year
15. People I’ve met several times who act like they’ve never seen me before
16. Gravel throat McGoo (aka RFK)
17. Podcast bros - there should be a bigger tariff on microphones, especially for “high value men”
18. Cottage cheese - I’ll always be its number one hater
19. Morgan Wallen lyrics. I’ll admit his songs are kinda catchy but every one of them is about how nothing is his fault
20. Toilet paper rolls in public restrooms that are shoved in so tightly you can only get a square at a time
21. The saying “we’re a family” in the workplace. Cause if we’re family, I’m going no contact w the parents of this family
22. The word Creamy
23. Stephen Miller aka Noseferatu aka Peewee German
24. Chewing sounds. Especially of creamy foods
25. That conspiracy theories aren’t fun anymore. What happened to birds aren’t real style conspiracies?
26. People who are mean to Miss Rachel
27. Women supporting the patriarchy. Girl, they’ll come for you, too, eventually
28. Lying liars who lie all the lying time
29. Elon. Always Elon.
30. 2025. You were a real mf’er
Feats of Strength begin at high noon - we’ll do pull ups in the airport.
2026 - I’d appreciate only grievances about perfume ads, bathroom etiquette, and cottage cheese.
Happy Festivus