08/06/2020
How to Keep Your Cool While Standing at the Altar
You won't believe how psyched you are when it's finally time to stand at the altar, listen to heartfelt readings and exchange vows with your better half—but that doesn't mean you won't have the shakes. Even without all the happy jitters and anticipation of a wedding, the coolest of cucumbers can feel off their game standing, speaking and getting emotional in front of a crowd (that's just how the nervous system works, sorry!). Here are a few simple tips to help alleviate nervousness and keep you calm and present at the altar.
1. Do a First Look*
Much of the anticipation you'll feel going into the ceremony comes from waiting to see your partner. Some couples like this idea and want to maintain the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. But if you think all that pent-up energy will prove to be overwhelming or distracting, we recommend enjoying a first look prior to the ceremony. Seeing your partner in private will be the happiest, most relieving experience, and definitely calm your nerves.
2. Remember to Eat and Drink
You probably don't want a Big Mac and a chocolate milk shake 15 minutes before go time (or maybe you do, we don't judge), but make sure you've eaten something (even just a banana or granola bar) and had a sip of water before heading to the altar to avoid feeling faint or nauseous. You'll be standing for at least 20 minutes—probably longer if you're having a religious ceremony—so you need your fuel. Having a drink of water will also help refresh your mind and clear your throat so you can say those vows loud and proud.
3. Use the Restroom (Again)
We recommend going to the bathroom before suiting up in your wedding attire, but if you think you'll need another trip to the restroom before your trip down the aisle (we know what nerves can do to you), don't hold it, just go. You'll thank yourself when you're not fidgeting during the unity candle lighting.
4. Don't Lock Your Knees
If you've ever taken a public speaking course, sung in a choir or had to give a big presentation at work, you may have heard this one before. Standing at attention with your knees locked for a long period of time can sometimes lead to fainting (not to mention muscle tension, which can cause discomfort later on, even after your nerves have calmed down). While at the altar, keep a softness in your knees and shift your weight subtly from time to time to promote blood flow and stay aware of your body. You don't want your wedding ceremony to be literally swoon worthy.
5. Practice Your Vows Before the Big Moment
Unless you're an improv whiz, you wouldn't hop on stage to perform a stand-up comedy routine without rehearsing, would you? Same goes for your vows. You might not have to memorize your vows, but read through them slowly and carefully to yourself the week before your wedding to develop a little muscle memory. Trust us, saying them for real to your soon-to-be spouse, and in front of an audience, will feel different. You won't want to worry about stumbling over your words when you'll have jitters to contend with.
6. Keep Your Eyes on Your Partner
Not big on owning the limelight? Look at your partner. Even if you love the spotlight or can't help drinking in your beautiful ceremony venue, décor and attendees, locking eyes with your one and only will center you, connect you and hold you in this special moment. This is isn't something you'll want to forget due to distraction or nerves.
7. Breathe (and Smile!)
We know how ridiculous this sounds, but don't forget to breathe regularly up there. Through all the hype and excitement, this will keep you more relaxed and clear minded. Oh, and don't forget to smile—a lot.
