08/29/2023
I just have a few questions for the couple:
1. Basics: Date, time, and address of the venue?
2. How would you like me to address you during the ceremony
3. How many guests will be there?
4. Should I acknowledge any spirits, ancestors, ghosts, or other incorporeal guests during the ceremony?
5. Will any of your guests be shocked to hear how you and your partner met?
6. Who made the first move?
7. Will any of your guests be shocked to hear how you spend your weekends?
8. Do your guests share your sense of humor, or roll their eyes when you make a joke?
9. What should I do if a guest falls asleep during the ceremony?
10. What if they start snoring?
11. Can I heckle the guests?
12. Will your guests heckle me?
13. Will any exes be in attendance who are likely to stir up drama at vow time?
14. Choose a safe word. Your safe word can be used to pause the ceremony at any time.
15. How likely are you to faint during the ceremony?
16. Should I just nudge you and keep going if you faint?
17. How many glasses of wine are you having before the ceremony?
18. Who will be drunk at your wedding ceremony?
19. Who’s most likely to cry on the big day?
20. Do the in-laws like you?
21. Do the bridesmaids / groomsmen like you?
22. Who’s most likely to object at the wedding?
23. Vow style, pick one: Choose vows out of a hat; Let guests pick your vows; Read the vows your partner wrote; Read the vows I write; or Write your own vows.
24. Do you want a secular (non-religious), spiritual, or religious ceremony?
25. If you want a religious ceremony, what religion or religions will be acknowledged?
26. Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, how many past lives have you lived and did you two meet in all of them?
27. Are there any specific wedding readings you’d like to include?
28. Can I sing or rap any of these readings?
29. Are there any specific unity ceremonies or rituals you’d like to include?
30. How comfortable are you with interpretive dance?
31. Will you be bringing any live animals? (pets, tigers, alpacas, etc.)
32. Will you be bringing any puppets, dolls, skeletons, or taxidermy? Are they cursed?
33. Is the ceremony indoors or outdoors?
34. What will you be wearing? Formal or informal attire?
35. How many guests will be naked?
36. Tell me about a wedding you didn’t like, and why.
37. Tell me about a wedding you loved, and why.
38. Why did you choose your venue, and what does it mean to you?
39. Will guests be seated in a circle around the altar or in rows with a traditional aisle?
40. Seance or no seance?
41. Do you want me to use an accent?
42. What accent do you want me to use?
43. Seriously though, my Italian accent is excellent.
44. Would you like me to include visual aids, like flashcards, a whiteboard, or a PowerPoint presentation?
45. What color is your aura? Should I dress to match this?
46. Will you be exchanging rings? Tattoos? Gifts? Meaningful glances?
47. What’s your Enneagram number or Myers-Briggs type?
48. What’s your astrological sign? (Sun, rising, moon sign?)
49. Which Muppet are you?
50. What memorable thing did your partner say to you during your first conversation?
51. Unity ritual, pick one: Build a sandwich; Leg wrestle; Tequila shots; Jump the broom; Unity Candle Lighting; Hokey pokey.
52. How would your best friend describe your vibe?
53. Funniest memory you have of your partner?
54. What are your partner’s biggest quirks?
55. What does marriage mean to you?
I'm just kidding! A few of these are on the list but certainly not all of them! :)
