11/02/2024
HERE’S SOMETHING THAT I WAS ABLE TO ARTICULATE ABOUT MYSELF IN THE MIDST OF A CONVERSATION TODAY: (that I had been struggling to put into words, it was how I felt but just couldn’t say it) but I did today, so here it goes:
“If I’m going to be engaging with someone on any level, it’s imperative that they understand how my neurodivergent brain functions so they don’t get angry with me for how I operate. I’m an ADHD adult with a TBI from the military, and that has suffered physical & mental abuse at the hands of family members & also past friendships & romantic relationships.
So I operate differently & need a kinder spirit & care from a person that can be motivating, yet has a genteel approach. I don’t do aggressive & argumentative.
I need compassion & a person who listens to understand, not to rebut or refute EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth.
I am open to constructive feedback and dialogue, HOWEVER There’s always a way to present information without it coming across mean or hurtful or rude.
I am accepting and open minded to opinions outside of my own, I just don’t respond to forceful and abrasive.
I’m in the mindset now, that I don’t even remember what arguments were about. I don’t have the mental capacity to hold on to things that don’t serve me in my quest for daily peace, ya know?
I struggle every day with ADHD & Lack of Motivation… I have too many of my own thoughts that I have to sort out vs trying to sort out other peoples opinions about me & their thoughts, it’s just too much.
I can absolutely find strength in another human being, But in order for a woman (me) to submit herself (myself) to another, she (I) need/s to feel safe.
And thus far,
I HAVE YET TO FEEL COMPLETELY SAFE… “
