Critter Keeper

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Finally. I believe it has come together. I’ve been pretty stoked as the summer approaches, as I have come up with severa...
05/27/2026

Finally. I believe it has come together.

I’ve been pretty stoked as the summer approaches, as I have come up with several “enhancements” for my program. I’ve been practicing in classrooms and parties over the past few weeks, and since the latest enhancement arrived just a couple of days ago, it won’t undergo the audience test until Friday, during the last two programs before my summer schedule begins.

These “enhancements” are nothing more than some visual and audio gags, and of course, a couple of animals that are either new or haven’t been used in a couple of years.

I fed the snakes a few days ago, and I’m pleased to report that the small one-eyed python is eating more consistently, and has undergone a shed. After several unsuccessful attempts at feeding the viper boa, it finally ate as well.

Which brings me to why I acquired the viper boa in the first place. As I alluded in a previous post, the reason will be construed as controversial by some. Not a lot, but some.

I intend to discourage other people, especially youngsters, from handling dangerously venomous reptiles in an obviously unsafe manner. It’s called “free-handling,” and unfortunately, in some reptile circles, it seems to be controversial.

It may be because my social media timeline is crowded with a bunch of snake posts and videos, but I see it every single day. It’s with rattlesnakes, copperheads, water moccasins, cobras, king cobras, Gaboon vipers… people (usually young men) being videoed or photographed handling these snakes (as well as Gila monsters and beaded lizards) without restraining the animal in a way that would prevent a bite.

Why? I don’t know. I guess it’s cool. I imagine there’s an adrenaline rush. They might even believe that they “know” their animal, or that it “trusts” them. It doesn’t make sense to me that one would literally risk their life for a few comments or “likes” on social media.

So I’m not going to tell adults not to do it. With some of these folks, you’re not going to change their minds anyway. But I will tell you why I don’t do it, and why I will discourage that type of handling, particularly in young, inexperienced handlers.

Every time a handler is bitten by an exotic venomous reptile, or if it escapes, it has a tendency to make the news, and it puts everyone in the hobby in a bad light. Legislators try to pass laws that affect everyone who keeps reptiles and other exotics. Insurance rates go up. My annual business insurance, despite having never have had an incident, DOUBLED from around $1,300 a year to over $2,800 last year, not-so coincidentally after the Liebowitz/taipan incident in Florence in 2024.

I have so much more respect for venomous snakes and their venoms than I did when I was younger. I’ve seen the effects of the bites. I don’t see anything “cool” about going into renal failure, losing most of your back teeth or half of your hand, or acquiring immense medical debt. Nope. Nothing cool about that at all, no matter how many “likes” you get. And that’s not even considering the suffering and worry that your family and loved ones will endure.

I hold the view that freehandling dangerously venomous animals is foolhardy and unwise, and it sets a poor example. Knowledge is knowing something; wisdom is applying that knowledge in the right way. If you know that an animal can hurt or kill you with a bite, then handling that animal in an unsafe manner is unwise. Sounds logical to me.

Beyond that, EVERYONE is an “influencer.” I had never considered myself as one, but if any of us interact with others, we have the capability to influence. Since my primary audiences are children, who are so often impressionable, I must take my potential as an influencer seriously. If I had a dollar for every time a parent has sent me a picture of one of their children pretending to do a Critter Keeper show after one of my programs, I could totally buy another viper boa. But I do worry that one day, a child or teen is going to watch a reel of someone with a rattlesnake or a copperhead and think to themselves, “That’s cool. I can do that.” And I worry about the potential consequences.

I’m not too worried about the influence cast by Timothy Treadwell and his overconfidence around bears. I’m not overly concerned about the influence of Siegfried and Roy and their overconfidence with their “pet” tigers. And I’m even grateful that Liebowitz survived the taipan bite, but I’m disappointed that he didn’t learn from his experience, because he’s back at it.

So, this summer, that’s where the viper boa comes in. It looks venomous, but it’s not, and you’ll know that by the way I’m handling it. Sure, there will be some implied peril, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I don’t need a venomous snake for a Critter Keeper program to be exciting.

Brutella, my Mexican beaded lizard, will help with that. I recently began using her again - she’s had a bit of a hiatus since the acquisition of the sailfin dragon - And she will be handled, but as always, she’ll be handled with caution, care, a hook, and most importantly, respect.

It’s my hope that I can continue to influence our youth to treat all animals similarly.

05/12/2026

What is the capacity of a tortoise’s urinary bladder?

While I didn’t get a specific answer, my curiosity was satisfied.

“The bladder in tortoise anatomy is quite large and bifurcated when full. This enables it to hold considerable volume.

“Tortoises also have accessory urinary bladders which can store additional urine.”

That apparently equates to a remarkable amount of urine, of which the group of first graders were witnesses. They thought it was great.

Teachers immediately went into crisis mode, with one running to get a huge roll of paper towels, while another stayed back with the kids, shouting, “IT’S JUST P*E! EVERYBODY P*ES!!”

The tortoise, obviously, was, ah, er, relieved.

As for me, I had mixed emotions. Part of me was in utter amazement that a tortoise held THAT much water. Part of me was pleased that my tortoise was that well-hydrated.

And yet another part of me was doing self-talk, saying, “Not the best day to wear khaki pants.”

05/06/2026

Folks, I have been the “Critter Keeper” for 19 years. I picked the name because I figured it would be easy for children, in particular, to relate to and remember.

I give kids some leeway in this, so I don’t get upset if they call me the “Critter Man,” the “Critter Guy,” or even the “Creature Teacher.” It’s enough for me to know they’ll be wowed by animals from all over the world, and how sometimes the animals just appear out of nowhere!

With that out of the way, I should make it clear that I am not, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever, be known as, or answer to, the “Animal Fairy.”

I don’t care if you are only three years old.

Getting the viper boa turned out to be more challenging and frustrating than I anticipated, but he/she is safely ensconc...
05/01/2026

Getting the viper boa turned out to be more challenging and frustrating than I anticipated, but he/she is safely ensconced in its new enclosure, and that’s more than I expected mere hours ago.

The company I ordered from - I just couldn’t get them to communicate with me. They wouldn’t reply to my emails, pick up their phone, and of course, their voicemail was full. I had no order confirmation and no tracking number. So this morning I inquired with my bank, and the amount I paid was “pending.”

I may have over-reacted. I emailed them again, instructing them to cancel the order, then decided to call the bank back to put a hold on the purchase, and checked back with Underground Reptiles, who had exceeded my expectations the day before. I was stunned to see viper boas now available. So I ordered one, to be delivered tomorrow.

Pleased, I sat down and sent off a 5-star review for UGR, whose customer service and communication I have always found to be exemplary.

I was piddling in my garage when my wife entered, carrying a box conspicuously labeled with “Live Animals” and “Perishable.” She was not carrying it with the same level of apparent trepidation observed in the FedEx driver yesterday.

Inside the box was a viper boa and a young male knight anole, which I had added to my order.

So, now I had to cancel my order to UGR, which was easy enough to do, since they actually respond to phone calls and other customer inquiries.

Then, after settling the boa and anole in their new enclosures, it was off to send yet another email off to the company, letting them know that I had received the animals, that I was satisfied with the animals, but I may have continued in a strongly worded diatribe on the importance of communication.

So yes, I received the viper boa, as well as a young male knight anole. But why did I need a viper boa so badly?

Well, that’s to be continued in a post I intend to write over the next few days, that surprisingly, is actually controversial in some circles.

Stay tuned.

I’ve been a little anxious waiting for my shipment to arrive. When FedEx pulled up, I headed outside, and must confess t...
04/29/2026

I’ve been a little anxious waiting for my shipment to arrive. When FedEx pulled up, I headed outside, and must confess that I may have giggled a little while watching the driver bring the conspicuously marked box to my door - at arm’s length all the way.

Two arthropods I just can’t do without right now are giant millipedes and vinegaroons (whipscorpions). Both are fun for me to talk about, and plus, they’re just cool. I actually thought I ordered two giant millipedes to join the one I have (they’re communal), but I guess I accidentally ordered three. Now I have over two feet of giant millipedes and I’m feeling okay about that.

The two vinegaroons! I usually get the one native to Florida and the American Southwest (Mastigoproctus giganteus) but those were out of stock, so I went with a couple of “Vietnamese vinegaroons” (Typopeltis laurentianus). I thought it could possibly be the same species that I encountered in Thailand many moons ago, and it may still be. One is the standard vinegaroony color of slate grey, but the other, to my unabashed glee and surprise, is RED. A RED VINEGAROON. Let me stop you right there, before you say it, because I beat you to it. Yes, I love to cook, and I use a lot of RED WINE VINEGAR for my marinades and whatnot. All that’s left is writing the joke.

No joke here. The black-webbed flying frog is spectacular. Stunning, even. I’ve already taken to calling him “Squirt” after my last flying frog, because this one also has the propensity of what I call “projectile urination.” I’m grateful to have been looking him head-on when that happened, because that could have put my eye out.

I’ll state what should be obvious. Frogs don’t fly. But “flying frogs” are capable of gliding. They have long toes with big webs between the toes, and their feet act like little parachutes. Now, this occurs when the frog leaps from a substantial height in the rainforest, and is exceedingly unlikely to be witnessed in a library, classroom, or even a living room. What is sure to be seen is the distance they can jump! Oh, and the aforementioned projectile urination, which might be even more entertaining for the kiddos!

Late edit: The three tailless whipscorpions are also communal, but I guess I should have alerted the one I have that he was gaining three unexpected roommates. There was some non-violent posturing and skittering going on when I introduced everybody.

I also got a new Emperor scorpion. That was almost old hat after the other cool stuff.

I’m preparing a whole new post about the viper boa allegedly arriving tomorrow for tomorrow, and I’ll clue everybody in on what possessed me to procure the pugnacious little fellow!

Some new animals are ordered and on their way; some tomorrow and a couple on Thursday, totaling an even dozen. I’m parti...
04/29/2026

Some new animals are ordered and on their way; some tomorrow and a couple on Thursday, totaling an even dozen. I’m particularly excited about one of them - a critter I’ve never kept before. More about those later - if not in this post, then in one tomorrow or when they arrive.

A full quarter of that dozen are tailless whipscorpions, since a three-pack of those cool little dudes and dudettes were hard for me to pass up. Most others are duplicate arthropods that I felt I just had to have.

I should at this point explain that my orders were placed with companies that I’ve used before, and have proven themselves to be reliable.

I’ve been on the hunt for an Australian frilled lizard, and I thought I had found one at a decent price. As I continued to shop on this site (that I’ve never ordered from before) I discovered Gila monsters - an animal usually priced at over $1,000 - for a quarter of that.

I’m whipping out my debit card.

Meanwhile, I’m chatting with what is supposed to be a customer service representative, and I’m getting very brief, non-specific replies. Then, I’m preparing to enter my credit card, and then to my surprise, they don’t take credit or debit cards. I pumped my brakes once, and screeched to a sudden stop. They take Venmo, Zelle, and everything up to and including BitCoin.

My experience with BitCoin is tossing two bits into a jar on my desk, but I’m seeing too many red flags. Underpriced animals, a sketchy CSR, and now no credit cards. A little quick research confirmed my suspicions. Apparently there are some sites that offer animals at cheap prices and then require more money once the animal is “in transit,” while the customer is left wondering where the animal (and the money) is off to. Credit cards are more likely to prevent fraud. So I may have dodged a bullet there. Let the buyer beware. There’s a lot of folks out there that put more effort into scamming others than it would take to legitimately earn honest money.

In one of the photos I posted, you’ll see one of my favorite people (Evelyne, one of my granddaughters, taken several years ago) all enamored with a large tree frog - one with parachute-like feet - that is commonly called a “flying frog.” The black-webbed flying frog headed my way is way more colorful, as shown in the stock image.

And I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a viper boa, but one of those is allegedly on its way as well, arriving on Thursday, barring any logistical problems from the other end. Viper boas are a non-venomous mimic of the death adder, can be a little pugnacious, and have been on the periphery of my radar screen for a while.

I’m taking a risk counting my chicks before they’ve hatched, or my animals before they’re delivered, but we’ll see what happens!

04/27/2026

***2026 SUMMER READING PROGRAMS***

Here’s the current schedule for Critter Keeper library shows this summer:

6/8/26 - Pickens County Libraries (SC)
1000- Easley Main
2:30-Pickens
6:00-Easley Main
6/9/26 - Pickens County Libraries (SC)
1000-Central/Clemson
2:30-Liberty
6/10/26 - Iredell County Libraries (NC)
1000-Harmony
1:00-Statesville
4:00-Troutman
6/16/26 - Oconee County Library (SC)
1100-Walhalla
6/17/26 - Abbeville County Library (SC)
1100-Abbeville
6/17/26 - McCormick County Library (SC)
2:00 - McCormick
6/18/26 -Burke County Library (NC)
2:30 - (Hildebran)LongView Rec Ctr
6/20/26 - Iredell County Library (NC)
1100- Mooresville
6/23/26 - Anderson County Library (SC)
3:30 - Powdersville
6/24/26 - Marlboro County Library (SC)
1000 - Bennettsville
6/25/26 - Calhoun County Library (SC)
1030 - St. Matthews
1:30 - St. Matthews
7/06/26 - Rowan County Libraries (NC)
1030- RPL HQ Salisbury
1:00- RPL HQ Salisbury
4:00- RPL West Cleveland
7/07/26 - Rowan County Libraries (NC)
1000 - RPL East Rockwell
1100 - RPL East Rockwell
3:00- RPL South China Grove
4:00- RPL South China Grove
07/09/26- 1:30-Duke World of Energy, Seneca
07/14/26 - Cherokee County Libraries (SC)
1000-Gaffney
1100-Gaffney
3:00-Blacksburg
4:00-Blacksburg
07/15/26 - Catawba County Libraries (NC)
1000 - Maiden (City Hall)
1:00 - Hickory
4:00 - Hickory
6:00 - Newton
07/16/26 -Catawba County Libraries (NC)
1000-Conover
1:00 -Claremont
4:00 -Sherrills Ford- Terrell
07/21/26 - Henderson County Libraries (NC)
1100- Hendersonville Main
2:00 - Fletcher
07/22/26 - Williamsburg County Library (SC)
3:00- Kingstree
07/30/26 - Polk County Library (NC)
2:00 - Columbus

These programs are free to the public. Some libraries may host the event in a nearby building because of space considerations, so please check with your library to verify the venue, especially with Pickens County. The libraries in Pickens and Liberty just don’t have a lot of room.

This is a complete list of libraries for the summer as of today. It does not include churches, Vacation Bible Schools, summer camps, certain private or special events, or any libraries that may be scheduled between now and June.

We’ll update it and repost periodically and as needed. Thanks, and we hope to see you!

Okay, hear me out. It’s been about six weeks or so, but it was then that my wife alerted me to the fact that a squirrel ...
04/27/2026

Okay, hear me out.

It’s been about six weeks or so, but it was then that my wife alerted me to the fact that a squirrel had been killed in front of our mailbox. Could I please properly dispose of it?

Sure.

I got a shovel, and put the freshly killed squirrel into a garbage bag.

“You’re not going to just put that in the garbage can, are you? Garbage won’t be picked up for a few days.”

“Oh, no. This is going in the freezer for now.”

She was talking with our daughter in our driveway at the time, and it was at this juncture that my daughter gave me a funny look. My wife quickly followed suit.

In my view, this squirrel was an opportunity too good to pass up. And since I consider myself an opportunist, well…

“Dad,” my daughter intoned, “that’s kind of gross.”

“I don’t see what’s gross about it,” I said. “It’s a fresh, clean kill. Frozen rodents are expensive. Besides, it’s almost like this poor little guy’s death has a purpose now. He’s twice the size of most of the rats I buy.”

As I retreated down to the garage where my dedicated freezer awaited, the Hebrew phrase “Jehovah-jireh” came to mind.

All that to say is that we found out this afternoon that Julius Squeezer likes squirrel.

Of course, if you know my routine at all, you know that if I fed the snakes today, I have a few days off in my immediate future. And I need it. The last week or so has been quite hectic, and my body finally relented to the onslaught of pollen late Thursday. Friday was filled with school programs, the last one of the day being a school carnival, and my voice was just about gone.

I’m pretty good at adapting however, and I stopped by the salad bar of a grocery store before the carnival and picked up a mess of fruit and greens. I’ve got several large lizards and a tortoise that considered that to be quite the treat.

In other news, I’ve been window shopping for a couple of new animals to go into the summer with, so I’ll likely be putting in an order tomorrow and pick the newbies up on Tuesday or Wednesday. I found some really cool stuff that I’m excited about, but it’s a company I’ve never used before, and there’s some hesitancy for me in that regard.

We’ll see what happens!

I don’t know why pretty nails show up on my feed, but someone might be inspired by it. They are pretty nails, though!
04/21/2026

I don’t know why pretty nails show up on my feed, but someone might be inspired by it. They are pretty nails, though!

Address

Greenville, SC

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 9pm
Tuesday 8am - 9pm
Wednesday 8am - 9pm
Thursday 8am - 9pm
Friday 8am - 10pm
Saturday 8am - 10pm

Telephone

+18646402295

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