Happiness Coach Angela

07/19/2025

Can awareness of impermanence help us appreciate each other more?

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My beloved kitty turns 18 this month. She's deaf and has arthritis in her hips but overall is still in remarkably good health. It's important to me that she enjoys her retirement years as fully as possible, so I've been carrying her around my home so she can look out the windows, and letting her walk around in the front yard despite her being an indoor-only kitty her entire life until now.

My heart expands when I look at her, knowing our remaining time together is limited. I find myself cherishing more quiet moments with this beloved being who I've spent more time with than any other being in my life.

I often wonder: how I can bring this level of appreciation to all my relationships, even the ones that I expect to enjoy for many years to come?

I've also been pondering my last long-term romantic relationship in this context. We knew from our second date that we'd eventually have to part ways - he wants a big family, and I love my childfree life. Over the course of four years, we got back together a couple of times due to life throwing us both some major curveballs including job losses, a health crisis, and two surgeries. Through it all, we treated each other with the utmost love, care, and respect, truly savoring the time we got to share. Was this in part due to our awareness of the impermanent nature of our relationship?

How can I bring that level of presence and appreciation to more moments with all of my loved ones? If you knew a friend, colleague, lover, partner, family member, or pet was about to pass on to another realm, how differently would you interact with them? Can we also bring that awareness to Earth, as well, and care for all of nature in a way that acknowledges its impermanence?

I'm been away from my daily meditation practice for a while now but I know I need to get back to it, especially given the destructive nature of recent events. Regularly doing a loving-kindness practice totally shifts my energy, and helps me to have less anxiety and fear. It's a funny thing, really, that pondering impermanence causes me to have *less* anxiety, not more! Will you join me?

Here are links to resources I've found to be supportive:
Guided Meditations by Forrest Fein - the Loving-Kindness practices are at the bottom of this list.
https://kresserinstitute.com/guided-meditation-bank/

Alua Arthur's phenomenal TED Talk: Why Thinking About Death Helps You Live A Better Life
https://youtu.be/IkeuKPZxEhM?si=7YzwMm9B0b3uIytd

Death Meditation by Alua Arthur (free)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0IzESmX2k0I9TyN7h6v9cJ?si=BdmQs1gORtu1YUYIAFt1Ww

Death Meditations by Alua Arthur ($67)
https://www.goingwithgracecourses.com/courses/grace-in-dying

Professional photography by Erica Pierluissi https://framedbyerica.com/about-me

07/02/2025

It's 2011 and I'm working at the University of Florida. On paper, it might look like I've "made it". I have my own office, which I had dreamed of for years, or maybe that was just me adopting what I *thought* I was supposed to want.

Unfortunately, my office was a windowless, frigid cave that felt more like solitary confinement than success in corporate America or academia.

The building was old, and the office layout made no sense. Our intern desk was around a corner, behind dusty bookshelves and filing cabinets. The offices of my boss and the professors were all along the back wall, so when their doors were shut, there was zero natural light in the entire office suite.

I took it upon myself to make some changes. It took a bit of convincing, but my boss let me rearrange all of the furniture. One professor with approximately five million files in those big, ugly, gray filing cabinets - why are professors such pack rats? - let me declutter his paperwork enough to get rid of one whole cabinet. I brought in a pretty lamp with a warm lightbulb for my office so the fluorescent lights wouldn't totally steal my soul, and a space heater that I needed year-round despite the glorious Florida weather outside.

When people ask how I got into professional home organizing, I normally tell the story of my Year of Transformation in 2014 when I quit that job, went to massage school, got a divorce, and decluttered my apartment, then helped a friend during a similar life transition.

But my first real organizing project was actually bringing a bit of life into that sad, dark office. I so wish I had Before-and-After photos because it was quite the transformation! It would be a few years before I used this skill (obsession?) to craft a new career path for myself.

The Simplify Home Organizing team just finished decluttering, organizing, and beautifying a big office this week, and I can't help but smile at the full-circle feeling. ☺️ What a gift it is to bring more ease, flow, and joy into an office environment!

If you're reading this from your own soul-crushing office, please know that there's hope. Even if you don't see any other options, my belief is that you're never truly stuck. We live in a world of infinite possibilities, and I want to help you stay uplifted and encouraged, and make some changes.

I'm accepting just a few more Functional Health & Happiness Coaching clients so if any of this resonates, I'd be honored to help you liberate yourself from unfulfilling work. I primarily work with entrepreneurial women, people of color, and q***r folks because when those of us who have been historically excluded gain economic power, we do amazingly good things in this world. 💓

Feel free to text or call me at 352-888-4834, or book your phone consultation on my coaching website. 🤗 https://www.happinesscoachangela.com/onlinescheduling

Photos: tonight's networking 'fit, and my business card from that past life

05/27/2025

Do you pause to list and also celebrate your wins?

I started this practice during the summer of 2020 when I was studying to become a Functional Health Coach. As part of the year-long training, they gave us a super handy Weekly Planning Worksheet to use with clients, as well as for ourselves. I love organizing tools (no surprise there ☺️) and quickly got into the habit of filling it out every Sunday night or Monday morning.

It lists three categories:

1. Review - Is your vision still current? What are your values? What are your monthly or quarterly goals?

2. Wins - What did you accomplish and what might you like to celebrate? What actions got your closer to your goals and vision?

3. Focus - What are your priority tasks in the week ahead? And then block off time in your calendar for them, of course. (Nothing happens unless it's in my calendar. And I mean nothing! I even have reminders to eat lunch and dinner, otherwise I'll sometimes forget. 🙃)

I'm generally crap at the Focus part. I probably have ADHD, I work mostly from home with only my senior kitty holding me accountable for staying on task, and I have so many ideas all the time that it's a challenge to reel in my brain to do one thing at a time.

The Wins, however, are often a JOY to list each week. Sometimes "survived" is the only "win", especially since last November. 🙄 Other times, I feel amazed at what I've accomplished.

Today was thankfully the latter, and gave me a helpful insight into why I'm mentally drained. Last week I:

-put together a proposal for an online course

-received a powerful Alchemical Chinese Medicine and acupressure session

-hosted and led an incredibly fulfilling and joyful gathering for the Simplify Home Organizing team

-started physical therapy to regain strength after my second major abdominal surgery

-booked two new home organizing projects

-met with my new Marketing Assistant to update our website (I'm SO excited to launch it soon!)

-volunteered and spoke as Board President of the Gainesville Giving Garden at our epic Farm-to-Table Dinner on Saturday night.

Amidst all that, I'm also processing some emotional stuff in my personal life, attempting online dating (it’s wild out here, y’all), as well as trying to feed myself and work out consistently. 🤪

So yeah, I am TIRED. 😄

My point in sharing this is that, had I not taken the time to write all these things on my Weekly Planning Worksheet, I would have continued to feel baffled about why I'm having a hard time focusing today. Writing it all out, my immediate thought was "Well no wonder I'm mentally exhausted!" Now I can show myself a bit more compassion and grace, as well as figure out how to rest and resource in order to regain energy and capacity.

Do you list or reflect on your wins and accomplishments? If not, how might this practice support you?

05/08/2025

I was recently sitting on my porch enjoying lunch, and chatting with my neighbor and their friend when a white man pulled up next to the house and said "Hey, if you see a black woman walking around here, call 911. She's going around stealing things."I took a deep breath and said "Did she steal something from you?" And he replied that she had taken some important documents that were mailed to him via FedEx. I mustered up enough compassion to say "I'm sorry that happened to you."

My neighbor, who is a white, masculine-presenting non-binary person (and a dear friend), then said to the man "Please don't call the police, dude. Maybe you could just ask her for the documents back?" A garage truck passed by so it was difficult to continue the conversation, plus he was clearly on a mission to retrieve his documents which he thought were important enough to be an "emergency" 🙄 so he drove off, but the encounter really shook me.

For those of you who don't know, I'm biracial or “mixed”, and I live in a historic neighborhood adjacent to the little downtown of a small city. The neighborhood is predominantly white and just a few blocks East, all the neighborhoods are predominantly black. I only know of one black family who lives in my neighborhood, and just a handful of non-white folks of various backgrounds. If you see a black person in my neighborhood, there's a good chance they're just passing through.

Because we're so close to downtown, we occasionally experience petty crimes like bicycles being stolen, or packages being taken off of porches.

And so there was this man, asking us to "call 911" if we "see a black woman". No, sir, I will not be calling an emergency number for what is clearly not an emergency. Also, what was it that he was planning to do if he "caught" her? I honestly considered calling the police on *him* since he was the one driving around angrily looking for someone... What a privilege it must be to have the audacity to assume that emergency services are warranted for your stolen documents.

When I reflect on privilege, I think about my own and how with it comes great responsibility. My light skin, thin body, college education, suburban childhood (even with its trauma), and intelligence (among other things) have positioned me in places where I can open doors for those with less privilege. This is complex as I'm also a member of more than one historically marginalized group so I often feel “othered” in many spaces, too.

I've wondered how differently that porch conversation would have gone had the man known my racial identity, or if I was a black woman myself. I also wonder what could have happened if my mom, who is black, was in town and had decided to go out for a walk. Would my other neighbors follow the man’s request and call the police on her for simply existing?

If you're white, I encourage you to read this thoughtful writing linked below about white privilege, then share it with your friends. Once you’ve read it, I’d love to know what insights you perhaps gain, or other thoughts or feelings it brings up for you. 💓

Recognizing white privilege begins with truly understanding the term itself.

04/22/2025

Join me this Thursday from 5:30 - 7:30 pm at our community's beloved nonprofit farm, the Gainesville Giving Garden! 🌱

Anyone else feeling super ungrounded lately? ✋🏾 Let's get our hands in the dirt together plus enjoy some food and magical by-donation offerings including massage, acupuncture, astrology, and tarot readings, all to support food justice in our community. 🙌🏾

For those who haven't heard - the Gainesville Giving Garden is a nonprofit, urban farm that grows & donates organic produce for food-insecure families, and provides fresh food education for under-resourced groups and the wider community. You can learn more at gainesvillegivinggarden.org!

No sign up needed - just come on out!
225 NW 12th Avenue
Gainesville, FL 32601

I look forward to seeing you for this time of nourishing giving & receiving. 💓

04/17/2025

I cried with a client today.

I take great pride in being able to hold a lot. Both home organizing clients and coaching clients share their inner worlds with me and I'm capable of holding their biggest stuff - grief, rage, shame, or deep sorrow, as well as the more easeful feelings of contentment, joy, and fulfillment.

A beloved coaching client recently returned to our work together after a long time apart, and because I deeply value authentic expression, I gave her a very real answer when she asked about me at the beginning of our session. I shared that I've been struggling with a bout of depression, and that basic tasks have felt very hard. She's been struggling in similar ways, which I knew, and she knows me well enough to know that I can fully show up to hold space for her even in the depths of my own challenges.

Old Angela had too much pride to cry in front of a client. Old Angela thought that she needed to be a certain way or act like she always had her s**t together in order to be respected or even, as her big Leo energy would have it, admired.

But no, that's not the way and it never was the way of deep, authentic connection.

So I cried for a moment as we sat in our shared sorrow. And then we dropped in and I joyfully coached her through the session. I put my stuff to the side at I've known how to do for many years (I practiced massage therapy during one of the most difficult times in my life) but this time, I wasn't stuffing my feelings down or acting like I was ok.

By the end of the session, we were both smiling and I felt energized, having shown up for someone I dearly love in a way that was authentic for me, while still delivering the value I promised, and likely delivering *more* value because she felt seen and understood knowing that I, too, have times of struggle.

So my questions for you today are: where are you acting like you have your s**t together, and when and with whom can you drop that mask? Who are your safe people and where are your safe spaces where you can show up as your messy, authentic self?

04/05/2025

In business since 2014, Simplify Home Organizing's team of loving and skilled Professional Home Organizers specialize in decluttering for busy professional women, and downsizing for older adults. 🏡

Check out these stunning Before and After photos from a recent project! 😍

Are you ready for transformation? ✋🏾 Simply fill out a Contact Form on our website and I'll text you to set up a free, 20-minute phone consultation.

https://www.simplifyhomeorganizing.com/contact

You don't have to stay stuck in overwhelm any longer. We offer judgement-free support to help you banish clutter for good! 🙌🏽

03/14/2025

The woman standing next to me made a subtly racist comment. A microaggression, if you will. The two other people we were with made faces similar to mine, and one made a comment back in gentle but clear disagreement. I made a disgusted face at the woman, said goodbye to the other people and walked away. Sometimes I speak up in these situations. And sometimes, I am *tired*.

As a racially ambiguous person, I'm used to hearing such comments. Many years ago when my hair was straight, I would hear blatantly racist jokes and even the n-word on occasion. It was upsetting, of course, but I was also grateful that people revealed who they really were.

People are revealing who they really are.

I expect a whole lot more of this over the next few years.

If you are a kind and loving white person, cisgender person, heterosexual person, wealthy person, and/or other person with privilege and power, I have a heartfelt request.

When you hear nonsense spoken out in the world, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.

Yes, it's easier to avoid conflict. Yes, it's uncomfortable and potentially even dangerous. Are you willing to be uncomfortable and even, perhaps, a little less safe in order to create more safety for others?

My black and brown brothers and sisters can't hide their identities. Some of my trans friends can't, either. And my gay friends sure would like to be able to simply hold the hand of the person they love in public without fear of violence against them.

Perhaps your voice can change this.

I've heard "I want to speak up but I don't know that to say" from several people recently, so I'm working on a list of responses. Some are appropriate if you simply want to express your disagreement, and some are for when you're available for further conversation. Here's what I have so far:

"Hold on now, what you just said is effed up."
"I don't agree with that." (Or if you're available for a conversation, then...)
"I don't agree with that. Where did you get that information?"
"Whoa, that's not true. Are you available to have a conversation about that?"
"That's not cool. I think you should apologize to them."
"Hmm, what makes you think that?"
"That's a terrible thing to say."

What might you add? What has worked for you when you've spoken up against racism, misogyny, transphobia, and other ignorance or hate?

It's vital that we each speak up as often as possible, especially when we're one-on-one with someone like a friend, colleague, or family member. To be clear, this isn't about starting arguments or debates, or shaming anyone. We don't need any more "othering" or divisiveness. To me, this is simply about using your voice to advocate for kindness and compassion.

I'll also say that, when nonsense is spoken in front of a historically marginalized person, directly holding space for the person can sometimes feel supportive, depending on your relationship with the person, and if you can do so without trying to "save" them or trying to fix anything. Simply saying something like "I imagine that was hard to hear. Would you like a hug?", or "Is there anything else I can do to support you in this moment?" might feel helpful (ideally after you've spoken up to the person who made the comment). I've had friends do this for me on a handful of occasions and I can't tell you how comforting it was to know that someone else was aware of the harm caused. I'll probably share these stories at some point. They were profound and created a greater feeling of safety for me. I'd love for you to do that for someone, too. 💓

Photo: me straightening my crown at my last hair appointment. 👑 Thanks to my Emmy-nominated loctician, Antoinette Black, for this photo!

10/03/2024

"Do you like who you are with him?"

It's rare that I ask such a closed (yes/no) question during a Happiness Coaching session, but this question gave my client pause, and then led to some important insights and realizations.

We've been working on building her business but it's been sticky, partially because her energy keeps getting drained by ongoing conflict in her romantic partnership.

Can you relate? 🤔

Choosing a romantic partner (especially for those of us who are monogamous) is perhaps the most important life decision you will make. This choice affects your mental and physical health, finances, energy levels, friendships, and career.

So, do you like who you are with your partner or potential partner? Do they bring out the best in you, at least most of the time?

My coach uses the term "relationship soup", which I love. You each may have wonderful ingredients, but do they make a tasty, nourishing soup? 🍲

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If you'd like support with growing your business while also learning to set boundaries in your relationships, I'd be honored to be your guide. Simply message me to set up your free phone consultation. 💓

09/13/2024

I just shared this video with a loved one who struggles with emotional regulation (especially anger that shows up as out-of-control rage/outbursts) and figured it might be helpful to share here, too. 💓

Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma...

09/04/2024

A recent clinical study showed that free-form dance was an effective tool for healing from trauma, depression, and anxiety.

I love it when science confirms what we already know! ☺️ Our ancestors have been dancing to move through every kind of emotion and experience since the dawn of time.

I hope to see you at Ecstatic Dance at Heartwood Soundstage as we heal in commUNITY. 💓

Here's a link to the study!

UCLA Health study shows conscious, or ecstatic, dance helps those struggling with depression and anxiety.

08/23/2024

Though I haven't fully embraced the title of Business Coach (yet), that has slowly become one of the main things I'm doing in coaching sessions.

A new client cried happy tears at the end of her first coaching session today. 🥹 She felt more capable of growing her business, had clear next steps, and now has my loving support to hold her accountable for moving steadily towards her goals. 🔥

My face in this photo accurately expresses the joy I feel having uplifted and supported a fellow woman entrepreneur. 😃 I am grateful to get to serve in this way, and look forward to celebrating this client's success!