08/12/2026
Adventure time⦠Blue Water Bay Restaurant, Melrose, Florida.
Small body of water. Still. Sunlight bouncing off the surface, daring me to investigate whether there are catchable fish hiding underneath.
Jokeās on you. I watch Animal Planet. I know where I am.
Welcome to the land of vitamin-packed orange drinks and crazy, the only state capable of rivaling Texas in on-road behavior.
Enter Blue Water Bay Restaurant.
Walking in, these heathens immediately hit me with a six-foot glass display case layered with goodies. Itās not that I lack discipline. We all have moments of weakness and need the support of family and friends while we kinda, sorta, maybe think about changing our ways.
The sole server/hostess was a delight.
The Social Security Circle seems to love this place, and I understand why. Sizable portions, manageable prices, and an interior that feels like somewhere my grandfather wouldāve met a friend for Saturday morning coffee.
But weāre here to eat.
I skipped two of my usual suspects, calamari and escargot, and went with the crab & artichoke dip and house-made pork rinds with jalapeƱo queso.
The crab dip was solid. A little oily, but they werenāt stingy with the crab, and the artichoke was present and accounted for.
Vegetables: handled. ā
The pork rinds were still ācracklināā when they hit the table.
Yep. Went there.
The queso was pretty standard nacho cheese with diced jalapeƱos, but paired with those light, airy, salty rinds?
Addictive.
USA!!! šŗšø
Eventually I combined both dips and completely abandoned the tortilla chips for the pork rinds. Iād like that officially documented.
For the main, I ordered the seafood trio to maximize my research.
I was told theyāre known for the shrimp. They were good, although a little more heat wouldāve crisped them up nicely.
The fish was swai, a hearty, versatile white fish, but the house tartar sauce is what really made it shine.
Then came the stuffed crab.
It reminded me of a restaurant I used to work in.
We donāt speak anymore.
Very bready, but in a good way. Almost like Thanksgiving dressing with crab folded into it.
Finally, chocolate cake to go.
For research purposes.
Obviously.
7.8/10.