09/01/2021
I spent my morning doing something I did not enjoy in the least: sending my regrets to all of my outstanding requests for wedding cakes + confections for 2021 weddings. I am simply not ready, physically or mentally, to return to the kitchen yet.
I was really hoping my recovery after having my 1st child in May would be quicker + easier. "I'm fit + healthy; I'm a fighter; I have too much energy; I hate sitting still; I'll be chomping at the bit to get back to it," I had told myself, before enduring 14 hours of labor (10 of which without an epidural or anything else) that ended in an emergency c-section. And I truly thought that would be the case. But there really is nothing but the event itself that can make you comprehend how childbirth will change you: mind, body, + spirit. I have to accept + embrace my current limitations. I'm just not my former self. And I can't guess, let alone guarantee, when I will be. That means granting honesty to those that seek my services, + allowing them to go elsewhere for the sweet creations they desire on their very special day.
It isn't easy. Not because I'm not enjoying every blessed moment with my most precious creation, my sweet Iris. But because I truly love being a small part of people's love stories, and making them something as one-of-a-kind as their partnerships. So as much as I keep telling myself I owe it to my clients (and the years of effort I've put into building Love Bites into something I'm very proud of) to have a fixed return to work date, the truth is I don't have one. I don't know when my body will stop feeling like something foreign to me. I don't know when I'll have the artistic + physical energy needed to create like I used to. So I ask for your patience, and hope for your continued support while I navigate a new chapter of my life.
To all the boss moms out there who manage to juggle it all, I salute you. To all the women who had to step back from one dream to focus on another, I truly understand the complex mix of emotions that entails. Gift yourself grace, and do your best to live without the weight of a culture that has commoditized our time to the extent that taking a break feels like a breakdown โก