20/01/2025
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Americans aren’t partying as much as they used to. This year, we should all resolve to change that, Ellen Cushing writes. https://theatln.tc/TTDju5i7
“Many Americans are alone, friendless, isolated, undersexed, sick of online dating, glued to their couches, and transfixed by their phones, their mouths starting to close over from lack of use … The time we spend socializing in person has plummeted in the past decade, and anxiety and hopelessness have increased,” Cushing writes. “America is in a party deficit. Only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023.”
Polling from that year shows that although 84 percent of Americans enjoy birthday parties, only 59 percent had attended one in the past year, and in a poll from another year, only 28 percent of respondents said they would “probably” or “definitely” throw a party for their next birthday. “This is what a group psychologist would call ‘diffusion of responsibility,’ and what I, Ellen Cushing, would call ‘a major bummer’: Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to throw them,” Cushing writes.
“We are obligated to create the social world we want. Intimacy, togetherness—the opposite of the crushing loneliness so many people seem to feel—are what parties alchemize,” Cushing continues. “Warm rooms on cold nights, so many people you love thumbtacked down in the same place, the musical clank of bottles in the recycling, someone staying late to help with the dishes—these are things anyone can have, but like everything worth having, they require effort.”
This year, “resolve to throw two parties—two because two feels manageable, and chain-letter math dictates that if every party has at least 10 guests (anything less is not a party!) and everyone observes host-guest reciprocity (anything else is sociopathic!), then everyone gets 20 party invitations a year,” Cushing continues at the link in our bio. “Bear in mind that parties can be whatever you want: a 15-person Super Bowl party; a casual picnic in the park with 20 of your pals; an overfull house party … All you have to do is invite people in.”
📸: Aleksandra Mihajlovic / Connected Archives
