07/21/2025
SSW Faithful!!!
This past Saturday night saw an incredibly hot night of SSW action, both literally AND figuratively, from inside a blistering Newville Lions Club for "Press Your Luck." While Ass. Commissioner Mask Mullet's misunderstanding that the name of the event had nothing to do with the 80's game show or it's "Whammy," it was nevertheless an event packed with absolutely scorching action!
We started off with an emotional Inferno as he gave his latest health update, explaining that his ongoing knee issues and corresponding back issues have been compounded by a serious cardiac issue. Demonstrating a complete disregard for the gravity of the situation, The Estate interrupted the conversation to insist that their scheduled Black Jack game with "Diamond" Dex Cross to determine if they would get the right to change the stipulation for their upcoming Tag Team Title match with Team Baby Daddy was more important that Inferno's health. Despite Morgan and Drake drawing 20 right from the start, The King of Las Vegas was true to his crown, making a slow crawl to an unbelievable "21" to win the hand! The Estate, being sore losers, attempted to assault Dex and Inferno, but were thwarted by Jason Valentine and "The Outcast" Butch Hess, and challenged to a match later that evening.
From there, the action kicked off!
General Keisel managed to eek out a win over "Debonair" Kurt Blair and retain his Unified Equality Championship, meaning he WILL defend against the winner of the Gender Reveal Battle Royal.
..more on that later.
Fastlane prevailed in a Fatal Fourway against Wes Shmuckly, Jebidiah Yoder, and The Freak.
The Estate then returned to the ring - mocking "Diamond" Dex Cross by wearing The Cross Corporation shirts - Morgan, specifically, wearing the one he stole from Dex at Enterprise Pro Wrestling last month. Valentine and Hess entered the ring with a purpose and dominated in the early going, with Butch literally taking the clothes off Morgan's back to reclaim the shirt he stole. As all looked if it was going well for The Cross Corporation, an unknown, well dressed individual showed up attacking Dex from behind and costing Valentine the match. At present, we have no idea who this gentlemen was - but it was clear he was WITH The Estate.
Inferno then returned to face "The King of Extreme" Richie NIghtmare in a race involving the use of walkers. Both men, who are currently on the injured list, ran their mouth and Nightmare made every attempt to insult and put down Inferno. Much like the tortise and the hare, Inferno proved that 'slow and steady' does, in fact, win the race - albeit with the help of a banana peel. Inferno crossed the finish line, forcing Richie to act as a janitor the rest of the evening....we guess one could say "The Cleaner" returned!
The Gender Reveal Battle Royal was hard fought, coming down to Morgan and Valentine. After Dex confronted The Estate's 'unknown corner man' and chased him around the ring, Morgan found himself sailing over the top rope due to the distraction, giving Jason Valentine the win, the shot at General Keisel at our next show, and the right to reveal Inferno and Britney's baby - A boy!
Mason Martin and Eric Ecton put on a scorcher of a match, with Martin getting the duke after a hard hitting match. We can only assume a rematch is on the horizon!
Warwulf Kreed annihilated the debuting Jon Boi in under 5 minutes.
Next up, Orso Polare defended his Two Rivers Championship against Charles Everest Osgood (CEO). The two heavyweights let the fur fly, but ultimately Jimmy Alpha's distraction allowed Orso to gain an unfair advantage and the pin after a low blow.
In one of the more shocking matches of the night, Kidd Mike battled Mac Mayhem one on one. Before the match could start, Mayhem shocked EVERYONE with the return of Dex's cousin, Kory Cross, who made sure his voice and opinion were heard regarding what Inferno has done with the company and insisting he was there to 'help' his cousin who had been unfairly put upon by Inferno's incompetence. As the match raged inside the ring, Inferno and Dex argued outside the ring, with Inferno accusing Dex of orchestrating his cousin's return and Dex emphatically proclaiming his innocence. At the end of the match, Mayhem got the win...but clearly nothing has been decided with regard to what good, or lack of, is coming from "The Mind of Mayhem's" return.
In our main event, Moshpit took Jimmy Alpha to the very limit and, despite interference from Orso Polare, seemed perched to claim the Heavyweight Championship - particularly after CEO evened the odds. But it was not to be, as Alpha managed to escape with his championship intact. Inferno closed the show by declaring that Moshpit WOULD get a rematch at our next show...with Dex escalating the situation by making CEO the special guest referee!
Clearly, the stage is set for all sorts of twists, turns, and action as we surge forward here in SSW. News on our next show coming VERY soon! Stay tuned!
