01/05/2026
I often talk about the therapy growing flowers has been for meā¦April showers flowers was the first time in my life I didnāt feel like I was a waste of space. I connected with people over flowers when I had been so isolated for years. For the first time in my life I made a (tiny) income. But being in nature changed my world. It changed me.
But it has been a huge stressor in my efforts to get well. Growing flowers and selling flowers has timelines that need to be met, and I pushed myself through too many days of being severely ill to keep this (my passion) alive.
I pushed through for a few reasons
1. I worked through so much to establish my name and my business, not just with my health, but also keeping it alive while going through a difficult divorce, relocating and starting from scratch in 2024 and 2025.
2-To take a year off would mean losing my beautiful dahlia collection thatās taken me 9 years to collect. If they arenāt planted every spring, they will not live till the next season.
3-lastly I think I had to prove to myself the health issues Iāve been coping with since childhood werenāt āall in my head.ā That I wasnāt ālazy.ā (Notice those in quotes? Those are the phrases Iāve been hearing since childhood, sometimes from the people who āloved meā most which insidiously worked their way into my psyche).
But Iāve proven it to myself, which is why I feel confident saying I will not be hosting a tuber sale this year so I can focus on finally getting well. Iām in a safe place to do that for the first time in a long time. Am I afraid of losing customers? You bet, but the bigger fear is continuing to live this half life of being chronically ill.
I still intend on growing the again labyrinth this year and looking forward to another beautiful season.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me through it allā¦I truly feel the best is yet to come!
