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01/24/2014

The Most Annoying Questions People Ask when You're Engaged

By Bridal Guide

Once there's a ring on your finger, you expect to share your proposal story over and over, bounce wedding ideas off your loved ones, and have fun gown shopping and working on DIY projects with your bridal party. What you don't expect are the frustrating questions you'll be asked by well-intentioned family members and friends. Here's how to handle the frequently-asked questions that newly-engaged brides tell us they're tired of answering.

1. "When's the wedding?"
Why it's annoying: Do people really expect you to have the entire wedding planned the moment he pops the question?! Plenty of couples simply enjoy their engagement before jumping into any planning, and there's nothing wrong with that - yet if you admit that you have no idea, people either act like you're not serious about getting married or try to pressure you into setting a date (cue Grandma's plea: "I'm not going to live forever, you know!").
How to respond: If you genuinely have no idea (or just don't want to share that info yet), tell the person that you're considering a few options right now and will let them know when you do set a date. If you want, you can divulge which season you're considering.

2. "How big is your ring?"
Why it's annoying: First of all, most brides have no idea - it's not like you asked for the 4 Cs before saying "yes." Second, you can't help but wonder why the person is asking - does she think it's tiny? Or obnoxiously big? Is she planning on robbing you and is trying to figure out how much she can get for the rock?
How to respond: "It's the perfect size for me; I love it!"

3. "How are you paying for the wedding?" or "How much are you paying for X?"
Why it's annoying: Because really, it's no one's business. It's always rude to ask about money, but for some reason, many people seem to think weddings are an open book when it comes to finances.
How to respond: "Why do you ask?" This will typically lead to some sputtering about how he or she was "just curious"... Or maybe you'll get lucky and the person will offer to pay for the entire wedding (hey, it could happen). The exception: If a close friend who's also engaged asks how much you're paying for your DJ, help a sister out and give her the scoop. Since you're in the same boat, you can save each other some trouble when it comes to finding vendors that fit your respective budgets.

4. "Are you inviting X and Y?"
Why it's annoying: When you're in the just-engaged phase, never give a solid answer to this question. You could fall in love with a venue that only seats 75 guests, forcing you to slash your guest list. Or, if you're planning a longer engagement, you may not be close friends with X and Y anymore when the time comes.
How to respond: "We haven't finalized our guest list yet" - even if you have, and there's no way X and Y are making the cut. The exception: X and Y are family members you definitely don't want to invite, but you have a feeling your mom is going to try and force you to put them on the list. It's best to broach this subject directly and as early as possible.

5. "Are you sure he's the right one? Ha ha!"
Why it's annoying: It's a cliché "joke" that really, no one finds funny.
How to respond: Don't feel like you have to defend your relationship here. Just brush it off; "Yep, I'm pretty sure, otherwise I wouldn't have said yes!"

6. "You know 50% of marriages end in divorce, right?"
Why it's annoying: Ah, the cynic. Often, this question stems from jealousy, and it can definitely put a damper on your newly-engaged bliss - if you let it.
How to respond: Again, don't fall into the trap of feeling like you need to justify your relationship and explain why you're getting married. Simply say, "Well, we're counting on being in the 50% that make it work," and change the subject.

7. "So when are you having kids?"
Why it's annoying: Can we focus on the wedding first, please? Unfortunately, this question tends to start right after the engagement and continues until you actually do have a baby - and then the question changes to, "When are you going to have another baby??"
How to respond: "When we're ready." Or, if this isn't the first time the person has bugged you about it, try: "When people stop asking me about it."

12/04/2013

Why You Shouldn't Ignore Your Wedding Jitters

By Elise Solé, Shine Staff

Experiencing stomach butterflies or sweaty palms before your wedding may seem like run-of-the-mill cold feet — and oftentimes it can be — but a new study conducted by Florida State University found that people shouldn't always dismiss their gut instincts before walking down the aisle.

James K. McNulty, PhD, an associate professor of psychology, asked 135 newlyweds to describe their marriages with basic adjectives such as "good," "bad," "satisfied," and "unsatisfied," then examined their "gut feelings" about their relationships by having subjects play a word association game after quickly viewing their spouse's photos. When researchers checked in with the subjects four years later, they found that those who expressed negative or lukewarm gut feelings about their spouse were the most unhappy in their marriages. "I think the findings suggest that people may want to attend a little bit to their gut," says McNulty. "If they can sense that their gut is telling them that there is a problem, then they might benefit from exploring that, maybe even with a professional marriage counselor."

It's not the first study to lend weight to the validity of wedding jitters. In 2011, research conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles found that people — especially women — who were uncertain or hesitant about walking down the aisle were likelier to divorce.

Why, then, would someone say "I do" if they really mean "I don't"?

"The wedding industry has become so lavish and over the top — expensive gowns, massive guest lists, gimmicky ceremonies — that many people wind up burying their doubts or dismissing them altogether," Wendy Walsh, PhD, a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, tells Yahoo Shine. "The wedding itself can overshadow any doubts about the relationship, especially if the couple has shelled out for an expensive wedding and feel it's too late to back out." No matter how much a person ignores their feelings, she warns, they will eventually surface and manifest.

One reason shaky couples tie the knot is because many don't have blueprints for good marriages, says Walsh. People who are products of divorce may not have context for healthy love, making it easier to subconsciously select the wrong mate.

What's more, couples are getting hitched later than ever: The median age at first marriage has never been higher — 26.5 for brides and 28.7 for grooms. And while delaying nuptials may provide more time to focus on careers and personal development, it may also create relationship dissatisfaction. "Research shows that, for men, the more sexual partners they have — and delaying marriage may provide more sexual opportunity — the less satisfied they'll be with one partner," says Walsh. And an urgent biological clock doesn't help. "If a woman has baby fever, that can be a big motivator for getting married," says Walsh.

It's important to ask yourself whether you're stressed out about the logistics of the wedding or the person you're about to marry. "In any relationship, you should feel validated and respected, even when times are tough," says Walsh. "If you feel in your heart that your needs aren't getting met, it's time to speak up."

11/27/2013

Wedding World Records

Think you've been to some over-the-top weddings? Here are a few of the biggest, oldest, and most expensive all-time wedding records, plus our take on how these impressive feats can inspire your own wedding.

Biggest Wedding Cake Ever

The towering wedding cake for Don Corleone's daughter in The Godfather has nothing on the confection baked by a team of 58 chefs at Connecticut casino Mohegan Sun in 2004. The seven-tiered cake weighed more than 15,000 pounds (with nearly 5,000 pounds of frosting!) and required some cooking tools not found in most kitchens -- it took two forklifts to raise each tier.
Our take: The vanilla and almond frosting sounds delicious, but these days, bigger wedding cakes aren't always better. Cupcake stands in lieu of a wedding cake have been popular for a few years, and the hottest trend in wedding cakes right now is serving small, two-tiered cakes that double as centerpieces on each table.

Most Expensive Wedding

Though a billionaire Indian steel baron threw a $60 million wedding for his daughter in 2004, factor in inflation and the most expensive wedding was a seven-day affair for Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, ruler of Dubai, and his bride, Princess Salama. The 1981 wedding, which would cost $100 million today, included a stadium big enough for 20,000 wedding guests built especially for the celebration.
Our take: Every couple that struggles to stick to their wedding budget can learn a valuable lesson here: The bigger the guest list, the bigger the bill. Invite 20,000 of your nearest and dearest, and a price tag in the millions is understandable. If you're looking for ways to save, though, start by cutting your guest list.

Longest Wedding Dress Train

Here's a real nightmare for the bride who worries about tripping on her train during her walk down the aisle: The longest wedding train ever was 4,468 feet long, made by a bridal salon in Cyprus.
Our take: Your wedding dress is once-in-a-lifetime attire, and eye-catching details are great for the bride who relishes being in the spotlight. But it could take hundreds of bridesmaids to manage nearly a mile of fabric. Consider less hazardous add-ons, like silk flowers, lace cutouts, or intricate beading.

Oldest Bride

The oldest women to say "I do" was Minnie Munro, who was 102 years old when she married a man nearly 20 years her junior.
Our take: Amazing story, and totally in line with a trends we've seen for a while now, couples are waiting until they're a little older to get married, especially if they're paying for their own wedding.

Oldest Bridesmaid

Next time you hear someone complain about being too old to be a bridesmaid, think about Edith Gulliford of the UK, who was a bridesmaid at the age of 105.
Our take: Your bridesmaids should be the friends and family members closest to you. If one of those people happens to be a centegenarian, all the better!

The Longest Engagement Ever

Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez from Mexico certainly didn't rush down the aisle. The pair married when they were both 82 years old, 67 years after getting engaged.
Our take: An extended engagement certainly has its benefits -- some of the best wedding vendors book more than a year in advance, so you'd have lots of time to plan ahead. But when an engagement turns from years to decades, it's worth having a discussion about potential commitment issues.

Biggest Dog Wedding

Residents of Littleton, Colorado, witnessed something in May 2007 that's never been seen before or since: the union of 178 canine couples.
Our take: We love the idea of including a pet in your wedding, but hundreds of dogs make for pretty substantial postwedding cleanup. Stick to training your dog to walk your rings down the aisle.

Sources: Guinness World Records; Forbes.com

-- Miles Stiverson

11/21/2013

Alternative Ceremony Ideas for Second Weddings

A lot of planning goes into making a wedding both unique and memorable. If you're getting married for the second time, you may be looking forward to skipping some of the usual planning woes and getting right to the point: becoming husband and wife. Luckily, the pressure is off because there really isn’t a “traditional take” on how a second wedding should go -- it's really up to the couple’s personal style. In many remarriages, couples may often want to skip certain customary elements, like having a bridal party or es**rt down the aisle, in favor of something that feels a bit more appropriate and personal.

Since a wedding’s style depends on the personalities and tastes of the bride and groom, the ceremony options for remarriage are endless. Annie Lee, founder and head coordinator of event-planning company Daughter of Design, has worked with many couples looking for a fresh take on their second wedding experience. Here, she offers her top five alternative ceremony ideas for the second-time bride.

You want: To wed in a unique, intimate location
Try this: Host a destination wedding. "[This] is a great way to do something in a different tone and environment," says Lee. "It can be very distant both literally and ideologically from what you may have done for your previous wedding, so as not to draw any comparisons between the two events." This is also a logical pick for couples who want to wed in a causal setting with just a few close friends and family members, or for those looking to combine wedding and honeymoon costs.

You want: To skip the traditional walk down the aisle
Try this: Shake things up a bit and kick off your wedding with the receiving line instead, recommends Lee. Play the musical selection of your choice, stand together, and welcome each of your guests as they enter the ceremony to take their seats. Once everyone is settled, "you can have the officiant walk up to you and your fiance. Or [the two of you] can walk each other up to the altar to meet the officiant," says Lee. For something even more casual, ditch the traditional setup all together. "Have your guests stand in a circle, then you and your fiance enter the 'heart' of the circle," suggests Lee.

You want: To include your children in the ceremony
Try this: There are a number of ways that you can work your children into your wedding. Perhaps the simplest option would be to “write children’s names in place of where parents' names would traditionally go" on the invitation, Lee says. Word the invite in a way that suggests they’re giving away their parent. If you’d rather have them involved on the big day, ask your son or daughter to be your honor attendant. Or have them partake in the actual ceremony by doing a reading -- or even officiating! In many states, it’s quite easy to become a temporary wedding officiate. More and more couples are taking advantage of it as an opportunity to have a loved one marry them as opposed to a traditional officiant.

You want: To include your parents but nix being es**rted down the aisle
Try this: If you’d still like to have the support and presence of a parent at your wedding without following the more traditional father-daughter walk down the aisle, there are sensible alternatives. Depending on what other roles you've designated for your ceremony, "you might use [your parents] as part of your wedding party or have them read something during the ceremony," says Lee. Your father could also walk your mother or another close family member down the aisle.

You want: To do something completely unexpected
Try this: Throw a surprise wedding! This is a great alternative if you’re looking for a truly intimate celebration. Here's how it works: Select a date and venue, then send out invitations requesting guests to attend what appears to be a party for some other occasion -- a holiday, birthday, or even a housewarming. (In actuality, they'll really be coming to your wedding!) This gives the couple the opportunity to note any dress code restrictions in advance and to be sure that everyone they’d like to attend is available. This is also the best way for the bride to avoid having to field questions about whether she’s registered for gifts since many couples prefer not to receive them for a second wedding.

-- Charli Penn

11/15/2013

Budgeting for the Wedding: Wedding Budget Strategies

Whether it's just your folks, you guys alone, or a combination, you'll want to know all the pros and cons of who pays for the wedding.

These days, the cost of a wedding makes a year at Harvard and Yale look affordable. How are you going to scrape together the bucks so you can have the bash you want? Put that idea about sticking up the Federal Reserve on hold. You have options -- legal, time-honored, respectable options. The kind of options that, unless you're in the habit of bouncing checks, won't land you behind bars. Here's a rundown of some of them, plus their pros and cons. Keep in mind that a combination of two or more may be how you end up getting your wedding paid for.

If everyone is contributing, pool all the money upfront and then see what your bottom line is. It's much easier than saying "mom takes care of the gown, the flowers and the band" we take care of the rest.

The Bride's Parents Pay

The traditional -- and still pretty popular -- way of paying for the wedding.

The Pros:
You don't have to dip into your nest egg to pay for the wedding, which means you'll probably be driving a better car, buying a better house and taking better vacations a year from now than your contemporaries who are paying -- in full or partially -- for their own wedding.

The Cons:
"The person who pays ultimately gets what he or she wants," says JoAnn Gregoli, a wedding consultant and owner of Elegant Occasions in Denville, New Jersey. Which means that if you want 100 guests but your parents want 250, you'll probably end up with at least 175 to 200 people at your wedding. "Having your parents pay for the wedding doesn't hurt your wallet," notes Gregoli, "but you have to be willing to compromise on what the wedding will be like." Another downside: Having your parents pay for the wedding -- especially if they're retired, on a fixed income, or just not that well off to begin with -- could strap them down with some major debt.

Everyone Pays

A contemporary and, according to Gregoli, effective way of taking care of wedding expenses is for the two of you, the bride's family, and the groom's family to split the expenses. It works best, she says, if you simply take the whole cost of the wedding and divide it three ways, rather than dole out specific things to pay for: "For example, if you let your parents pay for the dinner, then they may be inclined to invite more guests. It can get sticky." If you can't divide it equally -- say one party is more or less wealthy than the other two -- ask that party what's comfortable for them to give, and throw it into the pot. "But just because his family, for example, is giving four times as much money as yours doesn't mean they get four times more say," says Gregoli. "You're handling this as a group, and one person can't push his or her weight around." The key to making this work, she cautions, is negotiation and compromise.

The Pros:
By pooling your resources, you may be able to afford the kind of wedding you want. You also may not have to empty your savings account to get it. What's more, since everyone is contributing -- which means everyone gets a say -- you're not likely to make one side or the other feel left out.

The Cons:
By accepting money from other people, you do give up some control. But there are always solutions, notes Gregoli. "If you want a DJ but the parents want a band, look for a band that also works with a DJ, who can play during the band's break. Or if you want a buffet reception and your parents want a seated dinner, perhaps have food stations, but arrange for waiters to serve your parents and their friends at assigned tables."

You Two Pay for Everything

More the norm than you might think. As more and more brides and grooms marry later -- stockpiling those Christmas bonuses, merit raises, and dividend checks -- more and more couples are in a good position to foot the entire wedding bill themselves.

The Pros:
Money talks, and as such, you will have total control over all aspects of the wedding. If you want to get married in a bikini on the beach and dance to a reggae band at the reception, you do it. Your mom may think it's an outrage, but in the end, she-who-does-not-open-her-wallet can't dictate to you.

The Cons:
You might deplete your savings (and rack up some debt if you take out a loan or charge on your credit card). You also run the risk of offending your parents if you refuse their financial help. To remedy the situation? You might accept a nominal sum from them, or let them pay for something you don't have strong opinions about -- say, the flowers. In any event, don't shut your parents out of the wedding-planning process. Encourage their input -- hey, they may even have a good idea or two -- compromise where you can, and stick to your guns on the things that are really important.

"If anything creates problems in planning a wedding, it's money," says Gregoli. "To sidestep problems, you need to do a lot of communicating -- with your partner and both families. If you don't, there will be trouble." Truer words were never spoken.

-- Patricia Samuels

09/16/2013

10 Things Brides Forget to Do

We asked Valerie Gernhauser from Sapphire Events to share the most common tasks/items that brides either forget entirely or handle at the last minute before getting hitched. Follow her advice below, and try not to be too hard on yourself; after all, the most important thing is that you both successfully complete your vows. Everything else is just icing on top of the cake.

1. Bring your marriage license: "An important part of making it 'official!' Check with the jurisdiction where your ceremony will take place about any deadlines for applying for your marriage license well in advance of your wedding date and also whether a blood test or special documentation is required to complete your application. Start gathering your documents early so that when it comes time to get your license, you have everything you need and can make the process as efficient as possible."

2. Vendor meals: "Be sure you remember to feed the people that are working nonstop to make your day flawless! You'll be expected to give your final guest count to your caterer within two weeks of your day, but don't forget to include the number of vendors you'll have so that the caterer can prepare simple meals for them, separate from your guests. Most caterers will count your vendor meals as half-price, so be sure to include your band members, photographer, videographer (and any second shooters), as well as your planner and their assistants."

3. Favors: "By no means are favors required, but they are a fantastic detail that each of your guests will appreciate! So don't make your favors an afterthought - think about what you'll present your guests as a 'thank-you' for coming at least two months in advance of your wedding date, so that you can place the bulk order of the items in time, and also personalize each one for that finishing touch."

4. Guestbook and pens: "Include something for your guests to leave their well-wishes for you upon arriving at your reception…Many brides that leave this to the last minute might make a trip to a local book store for a coffee table book that's characteristic of the place where they're getting married or something that is special to the couple. This could be a favorite recipe book for cocktails or a book of historic mansions in the city where your nuptials take place. Also, don't forget the pens!"

5. Invitation suite: "This is one of my favorite details to style and have photographed on the day of the wedding! Brides should remember to pack at least one full invitation suite and any other stationery details (rehearsal dinner invites, shower invites, save-the-dates) that were mailed out during the engagement to bring with them in the bridal prep suite the day of the wedding. If you have beautiful calligraphy and/or special envelope liners, bring more than one set - I always recommend two sets - so that your photographer can shoot the front and back of the invitation in the same frame."

6. Cake knife and toasting flutes: "You may receive these as a gift at your shower, opt to purchase your special set on your own, or use ones that have been handed down to you by parents or family members. When packing up your items to be placed at the reception, be sure to remember to pack your cake knife and toasting flutes (and keep the original packaging to avoid breakage) so that this detail will not be overlooked. Once this item is off your to-do list, you can focus on other things to pack - like your trousseau for the honeymoon!"

7. Tech chargers: "When it comes time to get ready in your bridal suite on the day of the wedding, have your electronics charged and ready to go! If you're planning on using your iPod for any part of the reception music (i.e. your favorite recording of the first dance you and your groom will sway to), make sure you have the right charger and the correct connection to your band's or DJ's sound system. Also, keep your phone charged overnight. You'll want to have it ready to go as soon as you leave for the honeymoon."

8. Passport and identification: "Speaking of the honeymoon, be sure your passport and driver's license are up to date and packed safely in your carry-on luggage. Airport security will not let you get on the plane with expired identification, so be sure you have taken care of this detail one month before your wedding."

After the Wedding

9. Thank-you notes: "It's easy to let things fall by the wayside in the aftermath of your big day as the dust begins to settle, but your thank-you notes to your guests should be sent out no later than two months after your big day. Carve out fifteen minutes each day to dedicate to writing these notes, so that you don't get overwhelmed...Also, don't forget the important people in your life, including your parents, family members, and bridal party that were there with you through the planning from the beginning.

10. Online reviews: "The people that have worked so hard to make your wedding day dreams come to fruition are often forgotten once the big day has passed. The best thank-you you can give your vendors is an honest review online and an email follow up. That is the only way that your vendors can continue to improve the level of service they provide to future brides, so your feedback is very important! Plan to carve out time to review your vendors within six months of the big day."

09/03/2013

12 Wedding Etiquette Mistakes You Didn't Know You Were Making

Wedding etiquette is a tricky subject. Even if you think you're following all of the "rules," it's easy to overlook these less discussed - but still important - guidelines.

1. You're not including the wedding location on your save-the-date card.

Even if you and your fiancé are from the same hometown and still live there now, there's no guarantee that the wedding will take place in that same location. Avoid having 100 people asking you, "Where's the wedding?" by including the city and state on your save-the-date (no need to put the actual venue at this stage). Many of your guests will still have to travel and possibly book overnight accommodations so give them a heads as a courtesy.

2. You're choosing a less convenient date or time.

As weddings have grown more expensive, it's not surprising that more couples are opting to get married on a Friday or Sunday rather than the high-priced Saturday night. But there's a reason Saturday is the most popular day for weddings to take place - with Friday weddings, your guests either need to take the day off work, leave work early, or skip your ceremony altogether and just attend the reception. With Sunday weddings, unless it's a holiday weekend, guests won't be able to let loose as much as they'd like, and many will leave early to get a good night's sleep before the work week begins again.

If you choose Friday, start your ceremony later - perhaps 7 or 8 p.m. And if you opt for Sunday, consider an afternoon ceremony with the reception ending by 9 or 10 p.m. (you can have an informal after-party back at the hotel for guests who do want to party all night).

3. You're not making clear-cut lines on who's invited and who's not.

There are certain groups you generally can't break; even if you see some of your aunts and uncles a few times a month and others a few times a decade, you really should include all (or none) out of fairness.

Regarding "plus ones," the general rule is that couples who are married, engaged, or living together must be invited together, even if you haven't met your friend's significant other. After that, it gets a little less clear-cut. Some couples give a plus one to singles over 18. Others decide to include dates for anyone in a relationship, while others draw the line at just couples who have been together for a year or more. Whatever you decide, consistency is key. The exception is your bridal party members - if you can swing it, allow your single bridesmaids and groomsmen to invite dates if they choose to do so.

4. You're putting a false start time on the invitation.

If you're planning to walk down the aisle at 7 p.m., the time on your invitation should be 7 p.m. Don't leave your guests waiting just because you want to make sure no one misses your grand entrance. Most guests know better than to show up right at the invite time anyway, so if you put 6:30 for a 7 o'clock ceremony, some of your guests could be waiting around for as long as an hour before you begin

5. You're using pre-printed labels on the invitation.

Your invitation sets the tone for your wedding - and that starts with the envelope. Now, we're not saying you need to hire a calligrapher, but it adds such a personal touch to handwrite the addresses. Perhaps ask a friend or relative with nice handwriting to help out. Or, try this calligraphy cheat: Using a fancy font in a very light gray, run each envelope through your printer, and then trace over the printed address using a calligraphy pen. Your guests will never know your secret!

6. You're sending an invitation to someone who already told you she can't attend.

After receiving your save-the-date, your friend tells you that she'll be out of town and can't make it to your wedding. When it's time to send your invitations, skip mailing one to this person - sending when you know she can't attend gives off a "gift-grabbing" vibe.

This rule confuses a lot of brides because you're also not supposed to invite anyone to the engagement party or bridal shower who won't be invited to the wedding. However, since you did extend the invite - even though you didn't send a physical invitation - it's acceptable in this scenario for your friend to be included in pre-wedding events.

7. You're having a cash bar.

In a perfect world, your guests won't have to open their wallets at your wedding. But you don't need to shell out for a top-shelf open bar if that's beyond your budget. It's perfectly acceptable to offer just beer and wine, and it's a nice touch to add a signature cocktail or two. If you must have a cash bar, see if you can negotiate some drink specials with your venue to lessen the burden on your guests.

8. You're not feeding the band.

Vendors who will be sticking around through your reception - band/DJ, photographer, and videographer - need to be fed. Most even state this in their contracts. Check if your venue offers a "vendor meal," which typically cost about half as much as a guest's dinner (the vendor meal usually includes just the main course, which lowers the cost). Or, you can sometimes provide subs, pizza, or another quick meal for your vendors (ask them!). Also, encourage them to grab some food during the cocktail hour.

9. You're not take the time to greet each guest personally.

As receiving lines have gone out of fashion, more and more couples plan to visit each table during the reception instead. What you don't know is that most couples never make it around to every table - you'll get sidetracked when your favorite song comes on or when your cousin drags you off to the bar for celebratory drinks, and before you know it, it's time to cut the cake and say goodbye. Our advice: Have a receiving line, even if it feels outdated and takes away from photo time. Think about it this way: Would you rather spend 15 minutes having a receiving line after the ceremony or spend an hour (or more!) going around to every table? Whatever you do, do not make an announcement that guests who want to see you can come join you on the dance floor - yes, we've heard this happen many times.

10. You have expectations for your gifts.

We all secretly hope that we'll get those carefully-selected items on our registries or that we'll receive enough money to make a down payment on a house. But, contrary to popular belief, wedding guests aren't even required to give a gift - and there certainly is no minimum amount that your guests have to spend.

Also: This means that you should not include registry information with your wedding invitation. You can, however, include it with your bridal shower invite, since the primary purpose of the event is to shower the bride with gifts!

11. You're skimping on bridal party gifts.

Considering that the average bridesmaid spends almost $600 between the dress, the bridal shower, the bachelorette, and attending the actual wedding, this isn't a place where you should trim your budget. No, you definitely don't have to match what they're spending on you, but plan on about $50-150 per bridesmaid if your budget allows.Also, don't forget thank-you gifts for your parents!

12. You're using thank-you cards with pre-printed messages.

Believe it or not, back in the 1950s - often heralded as a time when great care was taken toward having proper manners and etiquette - pre-printed thank-you cards were the norm. How and why did this change? Over the years, weddings have grown in size and cost; no longer do most of your guests live within walking distance to your venue. Guests are flying in from all over the world and spending more than $500 to attend a wedding. Somewhere along the line, it was decided that guests deserve a more personal "thanks" for their time and effort spent on your behalf.

Also: You don't have a year to send out thank-you cards. You have three months, tops. And for gifts sent before the wedding, try to get your thank-yous out within two weeks of receiving the gift.

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