08/20/2025
5 Faulty Assumptions About Men and Dancing
1. He doesn’t like dancing.
The main reason men do not like to dance simply because they do not know how. In general, if they don’t feel they know what to do, they don’t want to do it. Men do not like to feel like they are making a fool of themselves, especially in front of the people they want to impress. They want nothing more than to sweep you off your feet and gain the respect and admiration of you and everyone else with their confidence and competence on the dance floor. The reality is simply this: He doesn’t like dancing with the knowledge and experience he currently has.
2. He would never take dance lessons.
Men make up silly moves like the "lawn mower" and the "sprinkler" thinking if they deliberately look bad, then they are being funny. They do no have to sacrifice their self-esteem by trying to be good at something they have not learned or practiced. Everyone wants to KNOW how to dance; they are afraid of taking lessons.
Many people are afraid to try new things because they are afraid of what people will say. Will I look foolish? Will I be able to do it? Will people think I’m silly for wanting to take lessons? Are some common fears. The hardest step in learning how to dance is the first one through the door. But once they come through that door and see how easy it is, they will be happy they came.
3. He has no rhythm.
If you have a heartbeat, you have rhythm. The first thing you will learn on your lesson is that everyone can naturally create or follow a cadence. Hearing the beat in music to the untrained ear can be difficult, it can sound like a confusing mix of sounds. Without a background in music, separating the melody from the harmony from the rhythm can be confusing, but it is a skill that can be learned. The most important thing on that first lesson is to get him confident he can learn how to dance. To that end, your instructor may not even put music on for you to try to dance to on that first lesson.
4. He has no time.
No time is a convenient excuse for not facing the aforementioned concerns. Not enough time or money for basic lessons is rarely a valid excuse. More likely it is a diversion. We always seem to find the time and money for things we truly want or need. The issue is more a question of ability or desire.
If you want to dance with your partner, you need to speak up and communicate how much and why you would like to dance with him. Often times, if he realizes that you really want to do this, he will at least give it a try. Too often, however, people are too quick to sacrifice what they want for their partner. Women in particular do this but keep an invisible tally of how many times they have given up on their dreams and desires and want appreciation for our silent resignation. But such expectations are simply not fair if your partner is not aware. To help create a more solid foundation for our relationships, we must learn how to communicate more authentically and more clearly. Dancing will definitely help you tune in better to your partner, but it begins by talking about your real reasons and hopes to help get them on the dance floor.
5. He doesn’t want to dance with you.
Okay, so we have established several reasons that suggest why he is reluctant to dance that has little to do with you. Here’s a major reason he may not want to dance with you: You try to help him too much or your expectations are too high. Do not help a man to dance for on the floor he is the lead. Imagine you, the lady, being the big movie star, the man is the director of the movie,
The last thing men want YOU to do is to drag them out on the floor to dance “with” you when they don’t know how to lead. Becoming your dance puppet, as you say, “just follow me” while you pull him around and spin yourself about is simply horrifying. They know you want prince charming, and they want to be that, but they feel they cannot live up to either of your expectations. Better to try to avoid it all-together.
Ladies:
Your job on the dance floor is to surrender, to let him lead, to encourage him by telling him how much you enjoy being with him and relinquishing all expectations for how quickly he should learn or how well he should do. Everyone gets better with practice, schedule a time, make it fun, and he WILL get better.
Suggest reasons to dance:
Date Night: Dance lessons, whether group or private, are less expensive than most good restaurants or movies.
Romance: Build romance between the couple. Dancing is something that does not ever disappear, like riding a bike it always comes back to you.
Communication: Partner dancing builds the art of communication without speaking. Laughter, overcoming frustration, and more.
