07/15/2026
🍹🚨 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨🍹
If you’ve been on the internet lately, you’ve probably seen headlines about recalls, blueberries, lettuce, and words like cyclosporiasis that sound suspiciously like a dinosaur discovered in 1997.
Good news:
Our margaritas have been thoroughly tested and are 100% free of parasitic diarrhea.
In fact, after years of field research, we’ve narrowed the side effects down to:
✅ Excessive fun
✅ Dancing you thought you retired in 2008
✅ Becoming best friends with your neighbors for approximately four hours
✅ Randomly yelling “WOOOO!” when your favorite song comes on
✅ Taking way too many group photos
✅ Convincing yourself you’re good at co****le
⚠️ Possible mild hangover the following morning
No parasites.
No gastrointestinal adventures.
Just frozen drinks, good company, and questionable dance decisions.
Whether you’re serving margaritas, piña coladas, peach bellinis, or one of our other many flavors, we’ve got your party covered.
🍹 Margarita Man Bakersfield
🌴 Delivery, setup, pickup, and cleanup included
🥤 Cups and straws included
❄️ Machines stay with you overnight
💵 Only $50 holds your reservation
Book your machine online today at:
🌐 www.margaritamanbakersfield.com
Please celebrate responsibly. Drink responsibly. Dance aggressively. 🕺💃🍹