10/05/2026
The hardest moments of our lives do not get to define us. They challenge us, question our strength, and sometimes even break us. But those hard moments aren’t meant to stop us.
21 years ago today, I lost my mom to cancer. She had just turned 63 and was only into her second year of retirement after teaching music for 38 years.
I lost her when I was 27, just getting into “adult” life. She wasn’t here for so many of those big moments — a new career, buying my first house, meeting my husband, becoming a grandma, giving parenting advice, shopping for a wedding dress, holidays, birthdays, joys and hurts.
She and my dad never got the retirement they had planned either — a big motorhome cruising the country, taking her ’57 Chevy to car shows, and seeing just how many things she could collect from eBay, which had only recently become a thing. She may also have been the original inventor of Pinterest with all of her savvy storage ideas!
She gave some amazing life advice that, at the time, I completely took for granted. Now, being the age she was when I was a middle schooler, I hear her words coming out of my mouth with my own daughter.
“Put it in the coulda, shoulda, woulda category and move on!”
“When you’re a mom and your daughter wants to (fill in the blank), you can do whatever you want!”
But my favorite was this:
“Marriage is like two trees over one path. The two trunks symbolize you as your individual selves. The branches that intertwine over the path are the things you want to do together. The branches that don’t touch are the things you get to do by yourself, and the path below signifies that you choose to take this road together.”
Some of the best advice I have ever received.
Which brings me to Ever April.
I’ve loved floral design since I first started working with flowers in 2000. What began as a college job turned into a passion — and brought some of the best friends of my life into it, too. They still help me design some of my bigger weddings. 🩷 You Ramas!)
This particular journey with Ever April has pushed me to find my strength, break through barriers, and keep moving through my own insecurities. But don’t stop if I get stuck.
I know my mom never really left me. I look for her. She comes through in songs, in words, and in those moments when I think I’ve forgotten the sound of her voice — and then someone says something that sounds exactly like her.
And then there’s this picture.
At the bottom, in the middle, there is a painted portrait of a woman. That was my mom — her college portrait.
It was NOT planned. A complete fluke.
But there she is.
Reminding me to keep going.
To keep stretching those branches of my own tree.
To keep staying true to myself.
And to keep things simple:
“Coulda, shoulda, woulda.”
And I’ll be just fine.
Love you, Mommy. 😇