01/24/2026
All jokes aside, we hope everyone is staying warm, sipping something warm, and staying safe.
A Roseville man was rescued Friday morning after becoming stuck to a porta-potty seat during subzero temperatures, an incident he says began when he accidentally sat in someone else’s urine. “I had to go so badly, I pulled down my pants and sat down,” the man explained. “At first I thought it was just my butt sweat, but after a minute I realized I had actually sat in someone else’s p*e. I panicked and tried to get up, but my skin was frozen to the seat.” Fortunately, another man, Corey Woodruff of Macomb, had stopped nearby to “drop the kids off at the pool” and heard the screams. “There was nothing I could do,” Woodruff said. “If he’d been stung by a jellyfish, I might’ve just p*ed on him, but this… this definitely called for the authorities.” Emergency crews responded quickly, and EMS transported the man to a local hospital, where surgeons performed a delicate three-hour procedure to remove the plastic seat. Doctors explained that applying heat was not an option, as the combination of urine and freezing temperatures had caused the skin to adhere to the plastic. The patient suffered localized frostbite to the buttocks but is expected to make a full recovery, while officials reminded residents to exercise caution when using outdoor facilities during extreme cold.
