20/01/2016
INTRO TRIBAL MARRIAGES
With the way they did things in their office, one would actually conclude that Derin and Oge were already husband and wife living together. They have been dating for close to four years now and anyone who has stayed that long as a staff of the Bursary Department of the University of Port Harcourt would tell you better how badly they started.
Ogechi Udemba graduated from the department of Business Administration in 2010 from the Imo State University at the age of 23. The first daughter of her parents, Nze and Lolo Obinna Titus Udemba of Ulakwo, Imo State. After graduation, she was immediately mobilized for NYSC in June 2010 (Batch B) and was deployed to Gombe State. After the compulsory three weeks camping, she eventually redeployed to Rivers State and after so much follow up and contacts from her father, she was posted to the Bursary Department of the University of Port Harcourt.
It was now six months into her NYSC programme and she was fully into the work at the university. One Wednesday morning, a dark skinned tall young man walked in with an envelop. He had been recently employed by the institution and was posted to the Bursary Department. Oge was in her NYSC kit and Derin quickly assumed she came visiting from somewhere else. He immediately walked past her and headed towards the Bursar’s office when Oge accosted him. “Is that how you just walk mannerlessly into an office ignoring the people around and heading straight to the boss? Are you educated at all?” were the words that came out of Oge’s mouth. The other lady quickly fired at Derin for that uncultured behavior and the very anxious young man managed to mumble out what sounded like a “sorry”. He sat at the waiting chair from 10am till about 2pm waiting to be asked to see the Bursar and Oge made sure he waited that long. He finally got to see the woman at about 3.30pm. At last, after three jobless years, Derin was now a non-academic staff of the University of Port Harcourt.
It’s been two months since Derin started work and still, he and Oge, the youngest and single among all the staff of the department, were not in talking terms. One Sunday morning, Derin went for his usual 8.30am mass at St. Francis Catholic Church, Rumuokwuta. He, being a lector in the church, was assigned the first reading for the mass. He was already sitting down when a female voice greeted “Good Morning Sir”. The voice sounded familiar but he didn’t turn to know who she was. He only gave a quick/sharp response. No sooner had he responded than a statement flew in from the same voice “I never knew you worship here.” This time he knew the owner of this voice must be a friend; and when he turned his neck to reply, he met the staring face of Oge with a smile that had never been directed to him for over two months. He returned the smile and a soothing chill fluid ran through his nerves. She was the psalmist. The mass began.
That night, Derin could not sleep. He kept reminiscing the whole events between him and Corper Oge (as she was called by all) in the past two months. He deeply started desiring her but where can he start from? All that filled his head was the melodious psalm rendered by the young lady. He had to take the courage and do something. The next day at work, Oge came in and greeted. All replied. During lunch, other members of staff saw Derin talking with Oge and by the close of work that day, they were already been spotted at Shawarma joint in town. Other days followed and the joints extended to bars, restaurants and cinema. They were already in strong love in less than three weeks.
Oge successfully completed her youth service programme and was retained at the department, thanks to the powerful contacts of her uncle. They continued as dedicated staff of the department and months later, Derin bought a car. In September 2015, Derin had to attend the burial of his uncle at Ibadan. Since he was ready for marriage, he felt it was time he introduced Oge to his people. Oge and Derin traveled down to Ibadan on Friday morning. After all the burial activities on Saturday night, Derin called his parents and younger sisters together and gave them the news of his plans to settle down. The smiling Derin introduced Oge to them and they asked her all the usual questions. The countenance on the face of Dr. Samuel Oluwadaisi Aderopo showed that the union would not be as easy as envisaged. He called his son to another room and spoke to him, “Aderinsola, kilode? What has that Port Harcourt done to you? Are there no other girls there other than this omo ibo? You are my only son and I will not let you marry one stupid Biafra girl. If finding a wife was difficult for you, why did you then reject Omolara, the daughter of Prince Banjo? I am disappointed! You better take her back to where you brought her from.” He stormed out of the room, leaving Derin more confused.
The drive back to Port Harcourt on Sunday was a quiet one for both of them. Ogechi had eavesdropped on the discussion between Derin and his mother and she had heard the words: I cannot even think of hearing Aderopo Aderinsola Stephen weds Ogechi. A big scare was on Oge’s face.
Immediately after work on Friday, they both journeyed to Owerri town. They got to the home of Chief Udemba at about 8pm. Oge sensed the fear from Derin’s voice as they talked. They got into the house at about 8.30pm and everyone was still awake because they had been aware of her coming. It was a wonderful family and they welcomed their sister and “the stranger” with her. Food was set before them and they all ate together. When Oge was about to speak to her father, he waved his hand to her to stop and said “Asa mwa, the day has been hectic, let us discuss tomorrow morning by 6am before I leave for the shop by 8. Derin stood up to leave for the hotel but Lolo Udemba stopped him, saying “We have a room for you, please”. “Thank you ma, but I still have to see someone here in Owerri this night” he lied. “I will be here before 6am tomorrow, I promise.” Oge wasn’t happy but she had to allow him.
“Toot! Toot!” sounded the horn of Derin’s Toyota Camry 2.2 car at exactly 5.35am at Nze Udemba’s gate. The chief, surprisingly, was already clad as at that time. “Good morning sir” sounded the terrified voice of Derin. Chief merely nodded his head in answer as he was going through his sales book. Oge and her mother came out and they welcomed their guest. Derin brought out a bottle of Andrea Rose (Chief’s favourite he learnt) and put it before the slender man dressed in purple native wear and his beads on his neck and wrist. He stated his intention and every word that came out of his mouth came with fear, the fear only Oge understood. Finally the man spoke up. “I am happy my daughter has brought a man home. It is a good thing when you find a wife. She is my jewel, my Ada and I don’t joke with her. Please, I am sorry if it hurts, she cannot be married outside Igbo. You Yorubas don’t want us, why do you want to marry from us. There are supposed to be some more beautiful Yoruba girls in your towns. That is my final take.” He then left for the shop.
Even Mrs. Udemba was surprised at her husband’s stand on the issue. Derin almost shed tears. They both could not hold the tears when they were alone at Derin’s car that Saturday morning. They had to comfort each other. Back in Port Harcourt, colleagues noticed they weren’t as joyous and easy going as before. They did things almost badly. Repeated visits amounted to nothing as things only got worse for them. They usually got questions like “So you are still with that Omo ibo abi” and “So you don’t want to leave that ewu Yoruba alone asamwa.” Month by month the love decreased and in the third month, they were in Derin’s office doing some file work when a list fell off Oge’s bag. Derin picked it up and it was a wedding planner’s budget sent to her. Immediately Oge saw the paper with Derin, she knew she had no excuse, because the budget had her name and date on it. “Oge you couldn’t weather the storm with me? Why did you do this to me? No wonder you have not been going out with me and you never allow me to visit you again.” Oge explained everything to him but he was silent all through. Chief Udemba had linked one of the sons of his business associate Paulinus Ugorji to his daughter and the plot worked. Oge felt she wasn’t getting younger and considered the whole thing a lost battle for herself and Derin. Derin fell ill for over two weeks after the broken heart.
The d-day came and the occasion was a wonderfully colourful one. From the wine carrying to the church wedding at Owerri. It was the talk of the town as there was enough for everyone who cared to attend. Nze & Lolo Udemba made sure of that. Derin cried throughout that night and in his tears he got a text message on his phone: thank you for sharing in our joy today. May God bless you all. OGE&UZOR. The pains grew stronger and Derin felt like committing su***de.
Nze & Lolo Obinna were relaxing at their home on Monday morning, after the hectic weekend. Their daughter was now married and left for honeymoon to Dubai with her husband on Sunday evening. Chief’s phone rang, and when he answered, he got the shock of his life. There had been a plane crash. The only two survivors were Oge and a member of the crew, but seriously injured. Chief fainted.
Sometimes we call the nation ONE NIGERIA, yet our actions do not really depict it. Most inter tribal marriages have turned out to be more successful. The strength of a marriage does not really depend on the ethnicity of the persons involved. Let love rule.
