11/08/2026
WHEN PARENTS PLAY FAVOURITES: THE CHILD YOU REJECT TODAY MAY BECOME TOMORROW’S STAR
Family Affairs Naija Blog | Parenting & Christian Family Life
Dear Nigerian parents, what if the child you love less today is the very child God has chosen to use tomorrow?
Parenting is one of the most demanding assignments God gives to human beings. Children come with different personalities, abilities, weaknesses and strengths. Yet sadly, some homes are gradually becoming places where children compete—not just for toys, privileges or possessions, but for something much deeper: their parents’ love and approval.
SHOULD PARENTS SHOW EQUAL LOVE TO THEIR CHILDREN?
Absolutely.
Equal love does not necessarily mean treating every child exactly the same. Children have different needs and may require different forms of discipline, attention, correction and encouragement. However, every child should know that he or she is equally valued, loved and important in the family.
The Bible gives us a powerful warning through the story of Joseph. Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons, and his brothers noticed it.
“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children.” — Genesis 37:3
That favouritism contributed to jealousy and hatred, eventually leading to Joseph's painful separation from his family.
THE DANGER OF FAVOURITISM
When parents consistently favour one child, they can unknowingly create sibling rivalry—the jealousy, competition and conflict that develop between brothers and sisters as they struggle for attention, recognition or parental approval.
A favoured child may become proud and develop an unhealthy sense of superiority, while the rejected child may become bitter, insecure, withdrawn or rebellious.
Christian parents must therefore reject destructive comparisons such as, “Why can't you be like your brother?” Such words may appear harmless, but they can create emotional wounds that remain for years.
Jesus taught His followers to love without partiality, while James warned believers against showing favouritism (James 2:1).
DON’T WRITE OFF ANY CHILD
One of the greatest mistakes parents can make is judging a child's future by his or her present behaviour.
Some children start badly and finish well. Others start exceptionally well but later lose direction. Joseph was rejected by his brothers, yet God eventually positioned him to become the one through whom his family would be preserved.
Dear parent, never despise the child who appears weak, difficult or unsuccessful today.
Your assignment is not to decide which child will become the family superstar. Your responsibility is to nurture every child according to God's purpose.
Pray for every child. Correct every child. Encourage every child. Listen to every child. Celebrate their individual gifts.
DEAR SIBLINGS, NEVER LOOK DOWN ON ONE ANOTHER
And to the children and siblings reading this: do not look down on your brother or sister simply because you are currently doing better.
Do not mock the sibling who is struggling. Do not use another person's weakness as an opportunity to boast. Life can change suddenly, and God can lift someone from obscurity into prominence.
Remember Joseph. The brothers who rejected him eventually needed him.
When the chips are down, choose kindness over arrogance, forgiveness over resentment and humility over pride. The person you look down on today may become the person God uses to bless you tomorrow.
FAMILY AFFAIRS REFLECTION
“Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.” — Psalm 127:3
Dear parents, love your children without partiality. Guide them wisely. Correct them lovingly. Never use one child to measure the worth of another.
And dear siblings, love one another. Support one another. Celebrate one another.
Every child is a gift from God. Don't let favouritism turn one child into a favourite and another into a forgotten child.
Family Affairs Naija Blog — Building Stronger Families, Raising Godly Children.
