06/10/2017
His Football, My Football
I was busy when she called my phone. She probably wanted to gist or tell me to come online on Whatsapp so she could download all the latest gist. When I returned her calls, she sounded angry and ready to explode.
“Mama, wetin happen? Ta lo gba breadi lo wo e?” I asked in a playful tone. “It is Tade o. He left me here since morning. He went to watch ball.” She answered in an indignant tone. “Ehnnn, why didn’t you follow him? “ I replied her. I didn’t want to say much, before somebody now says I told them to break up with their bobo. I could sense her hesitation behind the question, “I don’t like football.” She replied.
So I asked myself, “If my boyfriend/
fiancé/Husband happens to like football so much that he won’t eat if he team loses, what would I do?"
Simple, I will do the following:
1. Belong to a rival team. If he says he loves Chelsea, I will follow Arsenal. If he says he loves Man-U, I will go for Real Madrid or Barca. Not because I know what football is about is or what it entails o. I will probably research about it so I can argue well with him against his team and for the sake of looking for trouble. I will buy jerseys, wristbands, headbands or whatever represents the team am supposedly supporting just to irk him. Two can play the game.
2. A day to any football match or the final match. We go bet o. we must bet ni. If your team loses, as my husband, you will either wash the plates, take Junior to school every day, change junior2 pampers for one week or cook me breakfast every Saturday for one month. As my boyfriend or fiancé, you will either buy me a gift, dance for me in a public place, cook my favorite meal (which am sure will be of native origin). You wee sha do one. If it happens to be my team that loses, as your wife, I will either take you out for dinner, fulfill any of your crazy fantasies or serve you breakfast in bed every Saturday for one month. As a girlfriend/fiancée, well I don’t know, can’t think of anything ( , they want to know).
3. On the day of the match, I will wear the team’s jersey and watch the game with you. Once your team loses like this, yehhhh, I will sing and dance just to annoy you. You will frown your face like sour Isapa soup, I will just continue to dance and sing. You can go and hang out with your boys afterwards o, ko kan mi. But the minute I hear you come in, I will play whatever song is in vogue and start dancing, all because I am looking for trouble ni o.
Watching football with your man doesn’t only strengthen your relationship, it helps form a bond I believe s*x can’t. The bond of friendship. I am not a fan of football nor do I like the way men shout and argue during a game. But for the sake of my relationship and Marriage, well, I can definitely go the extra mile of shouting “GOAL”, even if I don’t know what a penalty is or who Wenger is.
