Ellen Bower Ceremonies

19/03/2023

All the love we ever need is tucked inside of our own hearts, our own souls, our own selves.
Mother Nature plants seeds, but it remains up to 'us' to sow them and every one of us has the capacity to nurture everything and every'one' along our path in one way or another.
Happy Mother's Day to EVERYONE! 💜💜

08/11/2022

Beautiful. 💕

When grief
first came knocking,
I thought I had
two choices.
I could lock the door.
close the blinds.
Activate alarms
And shut it out.
But I still
lived in fear
of its intrusion,
of it finding a way
around my security systems,
around my defenses.
Or, I could invite it over
for morning coffee.
I would set the terms.
Block out the time.
I would get my house in order
and sit beside it,
let it say its piece
and send it away
as quickly as it came.
But grief doesn’t care much
for schedules
or facades.
An unexpected visitor
who comes and goes
as it pleases.
So, now I’m learning
another way.
When grief comes to visit,
I leave the door unlocked.
Sometimes, it
Frantically storms in.
Sometimes, it taps quietly on
the door waiting for
my response.
But, I’m learning to let it in.
To sit with it.
To see it.
To feel it.
So now,
When grief knocks,
I let it in.
I let it in.

~Liz Newman

Image Credit: Ludovic Florent

09/10/2022

03/10/2022

Isn’t this the most perfect validation for having known love?

18/09/2022

Some of us have been that terrified yet courageous surfer.

Some of us have been the bystanders at the shoreline frustrated at the surfer’s behaviour, shouting at the surfer about how they ‘should’ be navigating that massive wave of grief, judging them every step of the way, showing our frustration at how uncomfortable the surfer is making ‘us’ feel. (Yes, the irony speaks very loud.)

Some of us have been in both situations - and finally understand and let the surfer ‘be’ with their grief however that needs to look, however long that needs to be. Grief never leaves us completely. It just reshapes us.

This is one of the most perfect definitions for how lonely a place our grief can feel. And how abandoned we are when we are not permitted to grieve as we need to grieve - but told ‘how‘ we should handle ourselves in these monumental times of great loss because our grief makes others uncomfortable.

When the bystanders make our grief about ‘them’, they show us their lack of empathy, and how unprepared they are to welcome and embrace anyone else’s sacred journey of loss.

💛 Credit:

12/08/2022

My three water babies!!
Enjoying the last fill of the paddling pool before water restrictions!
The little ones are right on schedule at the ‘hooligan’ stage now! And they are wearing that title like a badge of honour! 😁😂😁
And contrary to what my neighbours might hear during their frequent enthusiastic play sessions out in the garden, we are NOT, I repeat, we are NOT running an illegal dog fighting venue! 😂🤣😂
Just typical canine sibling rivalry pushing each other’s boundaries!
Love these three; so, so happy we have them all! A lot of work for now, but Oh My! It’s triple the love and joy in life!!! (And triple the ‘protection’ wherever I go in the house because I obviously cannot be trusted to be there on my own!)
😂🐾🐾😂

27/02/2022

At a time when we are all somewhat stopped in our tracks with worry and anxiousness, I'm sending you a little bit of a reminder about our human capacity for 'resilience'!
Spend a few minutes with a couple of women I so admire! Enjoy their message. 💜💚💙

 Today’s Miracle Moment is about how to be resilient in uncertain times… We’re living in some of the most uncertain times in our lifetime. We can look around the world and see how people are experiencing extrem...

21/12/2021

Winter Solstice! Some inspiration for this time that I've just shared to my blog! 💜

Today at 3:59pm in the UK (10:59am USA) we welcome the Winter Solstice, the first day of winter, and the shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere. 

06/12/2021

Grieving is one of the loneliest places to be. It’s a place where we lose perspective, where we can ‘t see the next step in front of us, where we feel stuck in a world that seems to carry on while we see no possible way to do that, ourselves.
Being ‘real’ and just showing up somehow is one of the best ways to support someone grieving. You don’t need to say the perfect words, or do the perfect thing … you just need them to know you ‘see’ them. 💜

What to say to someone who is grieving:

❌Don’t say: “Call me if you need something.”

This puts the burden of asking for help on them which is almost impossible for folks who are already struggling to do.

🗣 Instead, try this: reach out directly (if this level of intimacy is appropriate to your existing relationship) and say: “What can I do to help make today a little easier?”

If they struggle to respond (this one can catch us off guard), make a few specifics offers about what you are willing/able to provide (dog walking, picking up a few essential groceries, stopping by for a visit with coffee, etc). Making specific offers makes it easier for people to say yes because they have something to respond to. If they decline your generosity, respect that, too.✌️

❌Don’t say: “I don’t want to say the wrong thing.” Or worse…nothing at all because you’re uncomfortable. Your people need you.

🗣Try this instead: “I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to listen and learn.”

And then listen. Don’t give advice, offer platitudes, or jump into action - be responsive to what they talk about without needing to fix any of it. Silence is often golden. 🏆

❌Don’t say: “You need to stay busy.”

Literally no one needs to stay busy to keep their mind off things. Most folks who are grieving are exhausted and easily or perpetually overwhelmed. Let them tell you if they’d like a diversion, otherwise the appropriate focus in most cases is rest, respite, and community care - help make that happen for them.

❌Don’t say: “Shouldn’t you feel better by now?”

This is basically the ultimate shame-inducing judgment for grieving folks and demonstrates how much you have to learn about grief (glad you’re here!!).

🗣Try this instead: “Trust the timing of your process. How can I show up with you today?”

If you feel worried about their grieving process, ask them how you can show up for them right now. They may or may not want your help/company/offers for care. If they say yes, then show up in sustainable ways and trust the timeline of their grief. If they say no, ask if it would be ok for you to check in again next week. Many people feel intensely uncomfortable needing and receiving help and may decline a few times before they’re ready to receive. Keep offering but don’t force anything.

Thank you on behalf of those you love!

In solidarity,
Sarah Nannen