18/04/2025
One of the greatest gifts of age and living a life that has inevitably included pain and loss is realizing what really matters, and shedding the fear of awkwardness and rejection in favor of deep connection, even if it means being uncomfortable, because the payoff is so profound. Since I, like many of you, am in my zero f*cks era, have started leaning into the awkward, and one of the things I’m doing is telling my people I love them, even if it is only (at first, at least) in writing. I don’t do it immediately or without enough time for the relationship to mature, and I’ve also mostly chosen people to be/stay in my life who are also willing to be gawky and open hearted. I try to practice it even with people I know won’t reciprocate, family members and friends who’ve been in my life for decades. This practice has transformed my life and has exponentially deepened most of my relationships and that’s because telling people you love them (and meaning it) fosters intimacy, connection, safety, and a commitment to the relationship that prevents (or at least softens) the scenario in friendship or sibling relationships where we constantly question whether the other person values or even likes us. Expressing love in a friendship does not prevent conflict or hurt feelings, but it does create a kind of infrastructure for working through hurt or insecurity. That is also helped by choosing people to be in relationship with who are either also open hearted or working to be open hearted, and letting go of relationships that are closed or unreliable, which is itself challenging but always worth it. A few months ago when I was in the initial two weeks of recovery from my knee replacement I was thinking about this idea a lot as a handful of close friends and my sister came through my house to help care for me, and so I made this piece as a reminder to myself anyone who also needs to hear it. Tell your people you love them. Bonus: new print and large poster in the shop. I love my community here. I am so thankful for you. After reading your comments on my last post, I might even love you. Hope everyone has a solid Sunday. ❤️
