German Baking Queen

Name: German Baking Queen
Address: 37 Parkwood Road, Mernda, VIC, 3754, AU
Telephone: +61416897551
Price range: $$

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Mernda, VIC
German Baking Queen

Traditional German goods made by an inappropriate baker with a big heart. M rated for sure, you’ve been warned but my cakes a bloody delicious! Your GBQ

Welcome to my crazy food show.

21/06/2026

⛱️🏝️✈️ HOLIDAY, BI***ES ✈️🏝️⛱️

That’s it, I’m gone, off to the north 💫

No baking!
No emails!
No answering messages!
No bookkeeping!
No shopping!
No nothing… 💪🏻

Back online from Monday 29th.
Baking again on Wednesday 1st 🥨

See ya fu***rs 🫶🏻

Over and out 🖕🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

www.germanbakingqueen.net

17/06/2026

❤️ Good morning Bi***es! 🫶🏻

💫WEBSITE is BACK ONLINE💫

I know it took a few days to get this major update done but it was a lot to do 💪🏻
Thanks for being patience fu***rs ❤️🫶🏻

Price have increased, because it was time. I have swallowed the cost of living over the last years but I won't do it anymore🤷🏼‍♀️

Someone said to me the other day
"ohhh you have this little passion project"
WTF! 🤬 NO!
This is not my passion, this is my full time job! I have build a commercial kitchen for this business 😎

My passions are my family, my dogs, coffee, catching up with friends... 👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏼👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽🐕🐕‍🦺☕️

I don't hate my job, please don't get me wrong but it is a job and I need to make money 💰 otherwise I need to close up shop.

Now, as I said SOME price have gone up, for example cakes 🍰 and grazing boxes 🥨🧀🍇🥒🥓 but pretzels and breads stayed the same. The price for flour has gone up a little bit but it's still pretty cheap in comparison to other ingredients.

✨NEW on the website✨

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ CATERING MENU 👑🥨🇩🇪

…and it's bloody exciting.

Please check it out!

🍲 Hot food! Some traditional German dishes plus a choice of other finger food options (from a supplier, I can't make everything by myself)😬

👩🏼‍🍳 Live cooking at your house (no more boring parties, I will put on a delicious show for your guest) 💫

👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳 Staff for your party! Jules and I will rock your party and we will look after your guests so all you have to do, is enjoy your party 🥰

🧑🏼‍🎓Cooking Classes! Not a brand new service but this part got a little makeover too and hopefully makes it more clear what is what and how it works.

❤️To all my OG bi***es 🫶🏻 THANK YOU ❤️
…for your support over the years. Having my regular carb bi***es means the world to me. Being your go to carb supplier for your special days and events just make my heart beat a bit faster 💫
I know a little price increase won't scare you off because you value good quality and my special customer service.

❤️To all my newbie bi***es 🫶🏻THANK YOU❤️ …for jumping on board. You won't be disappointed ordering from me. With me, you'll get the LOT, bloody good food, great service and excellent entertainment ☺️

And now it’s time for you lot to jump onto my website and have a look 👀

👉🏻 www.germanbakingqueen.net 👈🏻

Oh and one last thing. I’m on holiday from Monday 22nd but back in action from July 1st 💪🏻🥨

See ya on the other side fu***rs 🫶🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

13/06/2026

If you want more than JUST a fu***ng chocolate cake…
I’m your queen 🇩🇪🥨👑

12/06/2026

Hey bi***es! 🫶🏻

This is what a box of every pretzel 🥨 shape on my menu looks like 😍

While I’m still working on my website should I put this on this menu? 🤔

And exciting GBQ news…

I’m going on a HOLIDAY 🏝️🏖️🐊🪼⛱️

In 10 days my family and I are traveling north to Cairns for a week and I can’t fu***ng wait

After last years Roger ordeal and me now being better we need some family time, sunshine, no work, no footy club duties or cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner 🥰

Just pool, cocktails 🍹, breakfast buffet and hopefully no crocs 🐊
How funny would that be… last year I survived cancer and then I’ll get eaten by a fu***ng hungry crocodile 🐊 lol 😂

I’m still taking orders for next week but the week after we are gonsgy ✈️ 👋🏻

Do I have some crazy fans up there in QLD? 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

09/06/2026

Hey bi***es!

Lots of people have noticed that my website is offline, thanks for letting me know… but surprise, surprise it’s me that took it off 😜

Because there is lots of new stuff going onto the website right now. You know all the catering stuff 👌🏻

And thanks to everyone that told me that my prices are VERY reasonable 😅 they are now going up lol 😂🖕🏻🤷🏼‍♀️
I have not increased my prices in a few years and just sucked up the costs of living, which came straight out of my very own pocket 😒

No more fu***rs!

However our beloved pretzels 🥨 and sourdough bread will stay as it is 🫶🏻 you’re welcome 😇

Speaking of sourdough…

THURSDAY 11th
👉🏻 RYE SOURDOUGH BREAD 👈🏻
$8.50

And FRIDAY 12th
👉🏻 PRETZELS 🥨 all shapes 👈🏻

Inbox to order!

Happy whatever day of the week it is 🤔

Oh and I will of course let you all know once the website is back online 👌🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

07/06/2026

Hey bi***es! 🫶🏻

Let’s talk pretzels 🥨
They come in many shapes and sizes.

1️⃣ The pretzel shaped pretzel. The OG, suitable for every occasion. Eaten by itself or with butter and some fu*****ds put Nutella on it too 😅

2️⃣ The Laugenbrötchen! A pretzel roll, round and scored in the traditional star on top. Perfect for a mad sandwich with salami, cheese and pickles 😍

3️⃣ The Laugenstange! A salty longish stick shape often served with cream cheese and fresh chives 🌿

4️⃣ The Käse-Schinkenstange! The godfather of pretzels, topped with cheese 🧀 and bacon 🥓 because we all know that everything tastes better with bacon and cheese 🤷🏼‍♀️

5️⃣ The Brezel Kastanien. Pretzel 🥨 bites that look like chestnuts 🌰 yep they actually do loo like chestnuts. Little bite size, perfect for grazing boards and lunchbox or just as a quick snack every time of the day 👌🏻

6️⃣ The Boobzels 🤔 Boobie shaped pretzel with crunchy ni***es. Invented by me a few years ago when I was raising money for the breast cancer foundation.
I gave some to my oncologist last year too lol 😂

7️⃣ The Dickzel 🍆🥨 ahhh yep, a dick shaped pretzel 🤩 Very popular with the ladies and any gay man that I know off. Great for hens parties or when you wanna shock your mother in law or p**s off your husband, just serve them a dick in a bag 😜

8️⃣ and then all other creations I have made… a rainbow 🌈 a jellyfish 🪼 a duck 🦆 a butterfly 🦋 a mushroom 🍄‍🟫 a middle finger 🖕🏻and lots of letters ABC and numbers 123 🤩
I love those special requests. I can really set my creativity free and go wild ❤️

So tell me, what’s your favorite shape?

Happy long weekend bi***es 🫶🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

02/06/2026

Here we fu***ng go again 🤩🥨

Another grazing table set up in bloody bum f**k Gisborne 😂 but worth the drive.

Great customer that made me coffee on arrival, served me a schnapps and her husband noticed my car had a fu***ng flat tired… WTF 😳 when did that happen 🤷🏼‍♀️
So he blew it up and checked the tire again before we left 👌🏻 5 star ⭐️ service for sure!

And with “we”, I mean me and Jules 💪🏻 4 hands work faster than 2 and we also dipped our fingers into a new service that you can soon add to your party 🎉 package 😉

Because imagine this…

Your party is starting, the guests are arriving, there are some arancini balls in your oven… 😳

Then the baby wakes up, demanding your attention. You check the baby, make sure all guests have a drink in hand and by the time you remember those fu***ng balls, they’re burned🔥

F**k! 🤬

Now this would have NOT happened if you would have booked your Queen and her helper Jules to hang around 💫💪🏻💫

We would have served those round little fu***rs to you and your guests just golden brown, not burnt.

Jules would have sorted the baby (I don’t do babies but I would feed your dog, because don’t we all forget our poor little furry babies during parties 🥴🐶🦴).

We would have made sure all your guests have a cold drink in hand, your grazing table looks pretty all the time and all your hot foods are served.

We will give you a hand with the dirty dishes so you can enjoy YOUR party 🎉 💃🏼

Right now I’m working hard behind the scenes 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

My website is getting a makeover, my logo is getting ramped up and new very professional uniforms are in the making too…

GBQ CATERING is coming for ya all!!!

Watch this space 😍🔥

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

31/05/2026

Kids and pretzels 🥨
A match made in heaven ❤️

I absolutely love getting these photos send to me 🥰 kids are the toughest food critics ever and if they love my stuff, I know I’m doing something right ✌🏻

GBQ Catering for the win for any kids party 🎉

Happy Sunday bi***es 🫶🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑

29/05/2026

I’ve put AI to work today 👌🏻
Why should I do all the work, that lazy f**ker can edit my pictures from now on.

Or do you prefer my usual handy work? 🤔

❤️🥨❤️🥨❤️🥨❤️🥨❤️🥨

Different topic…

Do you bi***es think I should write a book?

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

28/05/2026

My 3 most popular items 😍

🐝 Bee sting
🥨 pretzel
🍞 Sourdough bread

I must admit bee sting isn’t my favorite cake 😬🤷🏼‍♀️😅
I would of course eat it (it’s not that horrible lol 😂) but if there would be a choice of Black Forest cake or poppyseed-raspberry cake I would go for those.

I do sometimes wonder why you are all so fu***ng crazy about this cake?

It’s it the creamy vanilla filling?
The toasted honey almonds?
The sponge cake? 🤷🏼‍♀️

To all my cake lovers, which one is your favorite?

Happy Friday dickheads… 🫶🏻

🇩🇪🥨👑 GBQ 👑🥨🇩🇪

Address

37 Parkwood Road
Mernda, VIC
3754

Telephone

+61416897551

Website

http://www.germanbakingqueen.net/

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