11/10/2025
I wore this to my daughter's Halloween party and got asked to leave by her boyfriend's mother.
My daughter Nina is twenty-three and hosting her first adult Halloween party at her apartment. She invited me because we're close like that, or at least I thought we were.
I wanted to do something funny. Something that would make people laugh and not take up too much space in her tiny living room. Saw someone selling moving boxes on Tedooo app for cheap, grabbed a lamp shade from Goodwill, made this "One Night Stand" costume in about forty minutes.
I thought it was hilarious. Showed up with a bottle of wine tucked in the top drawer cutout feeling pretty proud of myself.
Nina laughed so hard she snorted. Her friends were taking photos. Everyone was having a good time until her boyfriend's mom showed up unannounced because she "wanted to see what kind of environment her son was spending time in."
She took one look at me, then at Nina, then back at me.
"Is this what passes for humor in your family?"
The room went silent in that specific way where everyone's suddenly very interested in their drinks.
Nina tried to explain it was just a costume, just a joke, but this woman cut her off and said, "I think it's inappropriate for a mother to dress this way around young people. It sets a tone."
I'm standing there in a cardboard box with a lamp on my head holding a bottle of Pinot Grigio wondering what alternate universe I walked into.
She suggested I leave so "the party could continue in a more respectable manner."
I left. Not because she told me to, but because I could see Nina's face crumbling and I didn't want to make it worse.
My daughter called me two hours later crying. Said her boyfriend's mom left right after I did and spent the whole ride home texting him about "family values" and "red flags."
They broke up three days later. He told Nina his mom didn't think I was "a good influence" and maybe they wanted different things.
Nina showed up at my house last weekend and said, "Mom, that costume was the funniest thing at that party and I should've told her that."
I still have the box. Gonna wear it to hand out candy this year. I've earned it.
And I listed that barely-used lamp shade on Tedooo app because I'm petty enough to make three dollars off this story.