08/07/2022
“Something wonderful happened recently. My wonderful husband of 12 years, Bill, told me that he wanted to marry me. Now, as most of you reading this will know, Bill has been living with dementia for 9 years. For the past year or so Bill has been unaware of our relationship, and no longer knows my name. So, when Bill told me that he, ‘Really REALLY liked me and wanted to be with me forever’ - I was really touched. Bill doesn’t use many words now and finds it hard to express himself, but I got lots of kisses and hugs as I accepted his ‘proposal’. It was so lovely. Another memory to treasure. What I wasn’t prepared for was that he’d remember the next day. He wanted to know when we were getting married. This was Thursday, and as I was having my ’close girlfriends’ round on the Saturday, I suggested that was a good day. My daughter Andrea said I needed a dress. Really? ‘Of course’ she said. ‘How else can it be a wedding?’ So, I got a dress that afternoon, expecting to return it unworn. But Bill was still remembering on Friday, so together we bought a special cake from marks, my cousin Lynne gave me flowers for my hair, and Eva planned and prepared renewal of vows with a special bit for Bill, so he felt we were getting married. The next day, with beautiful homemade bunting made by Lynne the day before, a beautiful flower arrangement made by Eva, perfect flowers from Susan for my bouquet, stunning weather all day, and my wonderful family around me, Bill and I got ‘married’ again. It was the most wonderful day. We are so blessed to be supported by family and close friends who love us both and do everything they can to help Bill and I enjoy our lives together. I never dreamt we would ever renew our vows, but we really did. And it was wonderful. Bill was wonderful. And what is even more amazing is that 2 weeks later Bill still thinks he’s just married his new girlfriend and it makes him very happy. Thank you if you’ve made it to the end! Please take from this that you can never assume that just because someone has advanced dementia with all the difficulties that presents, that they can’t still surprise you in the most unlikely ways. Bill has made me very happy yet again.”
Credit: Anne Duncan
