08/22/2026
🚨 MISINFORMATION STATION WITH CODY COVER — PARADE UPDATE 🚨
Downtown Rochester, Indiana, is currently shut down for what officials are calling “the most abstract parade ever accidentally coordinated.”
Witnesses report seeing:
• A riding mower pulling a recliner with somebody’s uncle asleep in it
• Six women dressed as decorative porch geese
• A shirtless man carrying a crockpot like the Olympic torch
• Three children throwing individually wrapped slices of bologna
• A 1998 Pontiac Grand Am honored as “Best Agricultural Float”
• The Rochester High School marching band following a loose goat that apparently knows the route
• Two divorced dads aggressively waving from the same bass boat
• A woman named Tammy selling deviled eggs from a camouflage wagon
• And one mysterious gentleman holding a sign that simply reads, “Darla Knows What She Did.”
Streets remain closed while town officials attempt to determine who approved the parade, where it started, and why everyone somehow owns a matching T-shirt.
When questioned, Mayor Dale Weatherby stared toward the courthouse and whispered:
“What in the backroads f**k is happening?”
The parade currently has no identifiable ending. Residents are advised to bring lawn chairs, avoid eye contact with the goat, and under no circumstances accept anything being handed out from the Grand Am.
This has been Cody Cover reporting for the Misinformation Station—where the streets are closed, the facts are missing, and Tammy’s deviled eggs have been sitting in the sun since 8:30.
This report is satire. Probably. Rochester has surprised us before.
