
30/05/2025
The view from my breakfast table on what I hope to be my last day of chemotherapy. At first I was astounded by the stem length of these anemone, much like the 24 weeks I was told treatment would be; long as hell. I picked them for one of the special few weddings I’ll do this year, but they opened a little too late or a little too pink, so I kept them for myself. I felt that way about my social worker in the start too, she’s so young and perennially positive, her name ends with an ‘i’ and on our first phone call when she asked what I would do for self care that January day and I wanted to scream through the phone that I had gotten out of bed and that seemed like the most I could do for my miserable self; I was sure we couldn’t be the right fit. Little did I know that she would be the best antidote for the difficult days, she was also the sweet baby angel who coordinated the gift my bride made on Tuesday when she delivered all the leftover wedding flowers to my oncology unit. My favorite nurse texted me a photo of a bridesmaid bouquet in her homemade ‘mom’ mug and I was blissed out to see my worlds collide in such a wonderful way. I should say my favorite nurse has largely been my only nurse through all this, so while she’s certainly earned the superlative by distracting me with garden talk through Benadryl stupors and self-induced brain freezes (cold capping), I was sort of enchanted by her before I’d even met her. She was my dad’s nurse first. Anyone who knows him knows he’s not one to delve out praise, you’re more likely to hear him call someone a bonehead in Boston traffic. It seems so fitting that although my dad’s chemo ended before mine began, we will both be in treatment today, tethered to our drip lines with the most qualified, caring eyes watching over us. When put in pairs, these anemones sure look like eyes too, barely blush, almost bloodshot from all the happy tears, looking right back at me. I’m off to the farm to pick some poisonous foxglove for my favorite human antidotes.