Inremember

12/07/2022

When you meet someone in deep grief
by poet, Partricia McKernon Runkle

12/07/2022

When My Father Died, I Discovered the Unmentionable Stage of Mourning: Relief

“Grief and Relief: Is it wrong to feel relieved when someone dies?”

I was troubled by this feeling. But it’s more common than you think.

12/05/2022

Ken Smith | The Hermit of Treig

There is a fine line when it comes to quality of life. Here’s a short doc about an independent man and his definition of quality of life. And the wine he’s making for his celebration of life when he dies.

12/02/2022

The Gig: What it's like being a death doula - Macleans.ca

What’s a Death Dula? Well, here’s a good answer.

“Simply saying, ‘Death sucks!’ validates clients’ feelings”

12/02/2022

It’s officially the holidays, and while there’s a seemingly endless list of things to dread for grievers this time of year, I think for most it’s the idea of having to be around so many people.

Ugh.

Whether it's people asking too many questions, or not bringing it up at all…nothing feels exactly right for those trying to socialize after loss. While it may seem easier to just get in bed and not come out until January 2, that’s not a reality for most.

But maybe this forced togetherness can be a reminder of the important part other people can play in our grief.

And more importantly—the role togetherness and being with people can play in our healing. Find more in our blog "Feeling Lonely & Isolated in Grief": https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/feeling-lonely-isolated-in-grief/

12/01/2022

What a lovely option from The Green The Green Man Casket Co.

12/01/2022

GENTLE READER - When you’re truly glad a person is dead because they abused you - what do you say to the survivors in the way of condolences? As always, being polite is your best option.

12/01/2022

Here’s a sad story of someone who had wings. And society decided to clip them.

Aaron Swartz bi danes dopolnil 36 let.

Aaron je storil samomor, potem ko so ga ameriške oblasti obsodile na 35 let zapora zaradi prenosa in deljenja znanstvenih člankov iz JSTOR-a.

Omogočanje dostopa do znanja mu je sploh bil eden glavnih ciljev v življenju, kar potrjujejo številni projekti, ki se jih je loteval:

Skupaj s kolegi je leta 2007 ustanovil digitalno knjižnico (openlibrary.org) s ciljem, da bi postala odprt katalog vseh del, ki so bila kadarkoli objavljena. Na njej je danes prosto dostopnih več kot 2,5 milijona knjig.

Pomagal je pri razvoju RSS in Markdown ter Creative Commons licence, vse to ima danes centralno vlogo pri ustvarjanju in distribuciji vsebin na internetu.¹

Aaron je prepoznan tudi kot eden izmed soustanoviljeteljev omrežja Reddit in je eden izmed avtorjev Gverilskega manifesta za prosti dostop (prt.si/gmanzof).

Swartz se je boril tudi za transparentnost ter proti korupciji in cenzuri. Poleg koordinacije protestov in akcij proti cenzuri interneta je vzpostavil platformo SecureDrop (securedrop.org), ki omogoča anonimno in varno komunikacijo žvižgačem.

Zvezni tožilci so iz njegovega primera želeli narediti vzor, zato so kljub pomanjkanju dokazov spisali obtožnico, s katero so zanj zahtevali 35 let zapora in 1 milijon dolarjev kazni. Nekaj dni po tem, ko so tožilci zavrnili njegovo ponudbo za pogoditev, je Aaron storil samomor.²

Omejevanje dostopa do znanja omejuje razvoj celotne družbe. Prosto deljenje in prost dostop do vsebin bi morali biti pravici vseh.

¹ prt.si/aaronwiki
² prt.si/aaronpolitico

12/01/2022

[🌲Christmas Special Price] 💖Rustic Farmhouse Antler Wreath

A few years ago Inremember (www.inremember.com) helped a family produce a Celebration of Life Memorial for a gentleman who unfortunatly, passed before his time. He was a collector of antlers and a White Tail Deer supporter. He and his buddies would collect antlers from National Parks all over North America. They are out there to find. I asked his widow what she intended to do with the collection? For the memorial, I suggested that we arrange them as centerpieces for all of the tables along with voltives. The result was stunning and personalized. That's what we do at Inremember... We help tell the story of a life that is highly personalized and unique to the person who died.

🎯Fast refund100% money back-guarantee within 60 days; 🚚ShippingWorldwide Express Shipping Available. 👍Delivery timeDelivery Worldwide 5-10 days. 🎁99.6%of ReviewersRecommends This Product. One of our most popular items is back in stock! This antler wreath is gorgeous in any setting and ca...

11/30/2022

Inremember Christine McVie

Rest easy Christine McVie.

Fleetwood Mac singer, songwriter has passed on today 11/30/2022.

11/26/2022

The choice is ours. A piece by an ICU RN.

Go quiet into the night.
By: Debbie Moore-Black, ICU, RN

“Go quiet into the night” published by KevinMD/Debbie Moore-Black, RN

https://donotresuscitate.ca
2.5 minute read

I know. You’re thinking: cold hearted. Cruel. Heartless.
Am I? Or are YOU?!!
Grandma Lilly is 87 years old. She’s in the ICU. On a ventilator. Wrists restrained to the side of the bed. She can barely see because her eyes are puffy; sclera edema. Her heart races.. 140’s/minute. Her blood pressure is low. She now has bought levophed and vasopressin drips because her blood pressure is dangerously low.
She can’t talk to her family. She phases in and out of existence. Grandma Lilly.
End stage renal Disease=Dialysis.
Respiratory failure=Ventilator.
Brittle diabetic. High blood sugars to low ones. No control. She can’t eat. So we feed her by a tube that goes into her nose and lodges in her stomach.
She’s been on the ventilator too long. Tomorrow she goes for a tracheostomy. Tomorrow she gets a peg surgically inserted to feed her.
She’s bought the ICU package.
Ventilator. Dialysis. Vasopressors. Restraints. Trach. Peg.
And any second of awareness for her is pure brutality.
There is no pretty ending to this torture except to hopefully escape by dying.
Poor Grandma Lilly.
Oh the memories. When we were kids we’d chant for Grandma Lilly. She’d snuggle us up in that rocking chair and read books to us. Let us splash our feet in the puddles after a misty rain. Built sandcastles at the beach. Gave us candy when momma said no.
She was our heart and soul and we wanted her to live forever.
But we don’t live forever.
There’s cruelty in putting an 87 year old with multi system organ failure on a ventilator, restrained, medicated, disoriented .... and wishing for the tunnel to the here-after.
Your memories will live forever.
The ventilator. Churning inspiratory and expiratory breaths.... day after day as Grandama Lilly wishes for death.

Grandpa Joe is two doors away from Grandma Lilly. (They are not related)
He’s going to die also. Ravaged with cancer. But he’s led a good life. And he’s cognitive enough to say he wants to die peacefully with his family and his dog Rufus by his side.
Grandpa Joe is a DNR/DNI and has requested to be “Comfort Care.”
For his excruciating pain from cancer, he is given a morphine drip that flows slowly through his vein.
He breathes slowly. But he’s happy and pain free and surrounded by love.
His room is dimly lit. Music seeps out and fills the ICU hallways. Frank Sinatra,
Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holliday.
Boy Scout, Eagle Scout. The only one in his family who got a college degree. Campfires, the stories he told, the wisdom and gentle guidance. And here his family sat around him. Good ole’ grandpa Joe. What a life filled with love. They held his hand as they told their loving stories of Grandpa Joe. They laughed and silently wept. Tears of love and happiness and letting go but knowing the pain and suffering of his cancer would be over with soon.

After several rounds of CPR and cracked ribs, tiny little Grandma Lilly died.

Grandma Lilly left this earth tied down like a captured animal.

Grandpa Joe left this earth with quiet whispers of
“I love you”💖

The choice can be yours.
Go quiet into the night
This is our last dance.
(This story is based on past events but fictional characters were used in compliance with HIPAA guidelines.
It is an example of end stage of life dying and of choices and results that can happen in any ICU across America)

11/26/2022

‘Every love story is a grief story in waiting’: Why Michael Hart wanted a natural burial when he died

One of the great joys of being in the fringe of a new way of looking at death, are all of the feeds I get from around the world from others who are in this same movement. "The point of natural burial is that it’s not just environmentally friendly, but [that] it actually [also] adds value to the earth. The grave site is allowed to return to nature." I love that we are culturally thinking about our final act. Also, www.inremember.com is all about story telling. This is what we do.

Michael was a man of the woods, so when he died, his body was not embalmed and he was placed — as he wished — into the earth just 1 metre deep.

11/25/2022

Please bookmark www.Inremember.com and share with those who need to share the story of a life. You see, we are all hardwired to show photos and swap stories of a loved one who has died. Or, perhaps we would like start planning our final encore and bow. We help families produce epic final gatherings that can happen anytime and anywhere. Because, there are no rules.

11/25/2022

Grief has its way of sneaking back into our souls during the holidays. Enjoy the remembrances.

11/25/2022

Owning Grief.

11/24/2022

Give yourself permission to look at death differently.

“I think that people always initially think this is something that’s weird, but this is not, this is something that’s been done as long as man has been on the planet. It’s something that is natural in the sense of it’s a natural burial, yes, but its natural just to care for your dead this way. This is the way it’s been done forever." - Larkspur Conservation Executive Director John Christian Phifer

You can read more about how green burial can be a living memorial for this community and how it came to be below 🍃



https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/local/sumner/2022/11/16/nearly-a-decade-in-the-making-natural-burial-as-a-living-memorial/69588722007/

11/23/2022

Ernest Hemingway ate his favorite meal before he took his life using his favorite shotgun at 60. He suffered from severe depression and called his acute attacks his "black dog days." Hemingway was buried in Ketchum Cemetery, Ketchum, Idaho. Here's a...

Little is talked about those who are survivors after a loved one, child, parent or friend as decided to take their own life. The topic of assisted su***de also recently came up during a Death Cafe I was on. Thoughts to share? It’s a tough topic. But so is death. That’s why we talk it out.

11/23/2022

59 years ago.

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. Ideas have endurance without death.“

John F. Kennedy

11/23/2022

11/23/2022

The lesson part is very true.

11/21/2022

❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

11/21/2022

What’s your legacy? Some of the more remarkable celebrations of life memorials we’ve helped surviving family members produce, have been outside and set in a natural surrounding. I’m always in awe at the connection some people have with nature and the environment. Their adventurous nature and connection to Mother Earth. This looks like a worthy guide and I hope this post inspires you as it has inspired me. The Dows have left us with a gift.

On September 26, 2022, Suzanne (Suzi) Dow, my wife, business partner, publisher, author, co-publisher of this page, passed away at age 74. She fought cancer for almost four years. Together, with two different golden retrievers and a toe-chewing 10 pound white fluff, we spent 23 years on the ground researching developed campgrounds in all 175 national forests and grasslands in the U.S. and Puerto Rico. Suzi wrote most of the text in the 12 soft cover books/guides (then, eBooks) describing the campgrounds, forests and grasslands. Further, she wrote over 160 monthly newsletters published on our website, forestcamping.com. In addition to all these tasks, she managed to publish a cookbook for campers and a blog.

Finally, through her writing (and photography), Suzi leaves a legacy for contributing to introducing thousands of Americans to their national forests and grasslands. I love and miss this amazing woman more than words can describe . . . Fred Dow

11/21/2022

Here’s a beautiful thought from Khalil Gibran on fear. I cannot think of any greater fear than the fear of dying. If you need to talk this out, seek out a Death Cafe meetup. It’s a global movement where ordinary people convene (in person or Zoom) and talk about death, their fears about dying, or to share their grief. No rules and no judgement.

11/20/2022

Today,
I visited you in a memory,
something I couldn't yet do
in the early days of grief.
I let my heart wander
let my mind roam free
in the way that it used to be,
to feel your presence,
so persistent, so steady
to reflect, to remember
and see you're still with me.
I knew that those moments
would be waiting
when I was ready
So today,
I visited you in a memory.

-Liz Newman

11/18/2022

Happy Friday! 🪦

Cartoon by

11/17/2022

Jane Fonda, 84, says she is not afraid of dying and is 'ready'

Jane Fonda, 84, says she is not afraid of dying and is 'ready'

The Grace And Frankie actress told Entertainment Tonight that she is just being 'realistic' about her future as she has more time behind her than ahead of her. She added she's had a 'great life.'

11/16/2022

Shared from a friend.

“Tanto gentile e tanto onesta pare
la donna mia quand’ella altrui saluta,
ch’ogne lingua deven tremando muta,
e li occhi no l’ardiscon di guardare.
Ella si va, sentendosi laudare,
benignamente d’umiltà vestuta;
e par che sia una cosa venuta
da cielo in terra a miracol mostrare.
Mostrasi sì piacente a chi la mira,
che dà per li occhi una dolcezza al core,
che ’ntender no la può chi no la prova:
e par che de la sua labbia si mova
un spirito soave pien d’amore,
che va dicendo a l’anima: Sospira"

La donna amata da Dante viene dalla tradizione identificata con Bice di Folco Portinari. Beatrice, figlia di un banchiere, si era imparentata con un'altra famiglia di grandi banchieri, i Bardi, andando in sposa ancora giovanissima, appena adolescente, a Simone, detto Mone. Si crede che si sia spenta nel 1290, a soli ventiquattro anni, probabilmente per complicanze dovute al parto.
Quando lei morì, lui, disperato, si mise a studiare filosofia e si rifugiò nella lettura di testi latini, scritti da uomini che, come lui, avevano perso una perso amata. La fine della sua crisi coincise con la composizione della Vita Nuova (intesa come "rinascita"). Nella Divina Commedia Beatrice subisce un processo di spiritualizzazione: rappresenta la fede che accompagna Dante nel paradiso. Per comprendere la natura dell'amore divino è necessario un totale abbandono dell'anima: nell'oltremondo non esistono più convenzioni sociali, nè turbamenti, nè fraintendimenti, e Beatrice può assumere in pieno il suo significato.
Beatrice è la prima donna a lasciare una traccia indelebile nella nascente letteratura italiana, nonostante altre figure femminili siano presenti anche nei componimenti di Guido Guinizzelli e Guido Cavalcanti, anche se non con l'incisività del personaggio dantesco.

Arte: Beatrice in un dipinto di Marie Spartali Stillman (1895)

11/14/2022

If you're intested in learning more about Earth-friendly and responsible disposition of cremated remains (human and pets), reach out to me either in chat or message. You can also contact us through our website www.inremember.com.

11/14/2022

One season into the next...
Artist ~ Annie Ovenden
Murmuration

11/14/2022

This is my work. I come in after a death. Letting go. I work in the realm of grief and telling the story of a remarkable life. A legacy. It’s an incredible place and honor.

11/14/2022

This is my work. I come in after a death. Letting go. I work in the realm of grief and telling the story of a remarkable life. A legacy. It’s an incredible place and honor.

11/11/2022

Comedian and destroyer of watermelons Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr. , AKA Gallagher , The 24th of July 1946 to the 11th of November 2022.

11/11/2022

11/11/2022

Duck, Death and the Tulip: An Uncommonly Tender Illustrated Meditation on the Cycle of Life

Here’s a lovely children’s book about death and dying. It’s so important that we use those profound words and teach them to our children. And to change our culture’s perception of death. Because every day we die only to live the next adventure tomorrow.

“When you’re dead, the pond will be gone, too — at least for you.”

11/10/2022

She Lost Her Husband. She Found Her Mission: Helping Children Deal With Grief

The importance of grief support for children has been non-existent in our culture. Until now.

After her husband, Adam, died in 2012, Allison Wysota founded Adam's House in Connecticut to help young people deal with the death of a loved one.

11/09/2022

Holistic soil management is often not even on the table when it comes to Green Burials. If we could apply Alan Savory’s principals, imagine what would be possible with regenerative green burials?

11/05/2022

Nice to see this growing trend in keeping it simple and Earth Friendly (in ground internments).

Let us offer a warm welcome to Aril’s Bare Cremation Urn! As they express “Aril Memorial’s products are worthy of our own loved ones, because that is how our practice began. Materials are celebrated generously for their qualities with emphasis on visual impact and tactile experience. Aril’s mission is to bring Art, Design, and Craft to Remembrance with the least impact on environment and society possible.”

11/05/2022

The irony.

Mid-century Johns-Ridout's Funeral Parlors advertising lighter from Birmingham, AL.

11/04/2022

11/04/2022