07/28/2026
Have you ever wondered how to handle grief at work?
I've heard from many of you about how hard it can be to show up at your job while carrying the weight of loss. It's something I remember so well, returning to work, sitting in meetings, answering emails, while all the time my heart was hurting.
I don’t know about other countries, but in the U.S., most employers offer at least a few days of bereavement leave, but in my opinion it’s never enough.
The reality is, companies have different policies and laws vary by state, so it's okay to ask HR what support might be available (no, you're not being a problem for needing to ask). Sometimes, you can use sick days or unpaid leave to give yourself more space. If you're able, talk to your manager or HR about what you're going through, they might surprise you with flexibility, even if it feels awkward to start the conversation.
Try to set boundaries where you can. If certain tasks or meetings are too much right now, it's okay to say so. Protect whatever small space you can. And allow yourself some grace because your concentration, energy, and motivation are all impacted.
Find ways to add a little comfort to your day. Put something of your loved on in your pocket, talk to a supportive coworker, or take a short walk. Doing these simple things can help anchor you.
Here’s the thing…ask for help when you need it.
If you can, let trusted coworkers or managers know how to support you. Sometimes just one understanding person in the office makes all the difference.
You don't have to explain your grief or perform well for anyone else. Your needs matter, and you're allowed to take up space, even if work culture sometimes says otherwise.
Some workplaces just don't get it. If you're feeling pressure to ‘move on’ or hide your pain, remember there’s nothing wrong with the way you're grieving. Not everyone will understand, and that isn't a reflection on you.
It's just the reality that our culture doesn't always know how to make room for loss.
However you're getting through these days, whether it's showing up at work, staying home, or just keeping your head above water, that’s enough for now.
Gary Sturgis
Author: ‘SURVIVING GRIEF – 365 Days A Year’