Some Random Old Dude

09/20/2026

08/15/2026

May nobody ask you "Why are you so quiet?", and may the silence around you be deep, restful, and completely uninterrupted.

08/15/2026

May your fake laugh sound genuine, your French exit go completely unnoticed, and the host's pet select you as the chosen one for the entire evening.

08/02/2026

May the midnight hours grant you the absolute clarity that the bright, distracting day stole from you.

08/02/2026

May the self-checkout register operate flawlessly, requiring zero intervention from an employee and zero forced pleasantries.

08/01/2026

May you stop waiting for a savior and realize you’ve been holding the key to the door the whole time.

08/01/2026

May your date look like their pictures, their chewing be completely silent, and their political views not force you to fake a sudden, tragic plumbing emergency.

07/31/2026

May you learn to trust the shadow you cast just as much as the light that created it.

07/31/2026

May your jeans have extra stretch, your bra wire never turn against you, and your sleeve never snag violently on a door handle.

07/26/2026

I'm not saying it's hot outside ....