10/12/2026
24 years ago, I woke up in the morning from a dream
I had gotten married but somehow had missed the whole thing.
As if I couldn’t keep up with time.
I woke up in my old bed in my parents’ home with an overwhelming sense of sadness. That sadness quickly moved through me followed by a sense of relief.
A remembrance.
I had missed nothing.
That day was the day my young self and his young self were going to get married.
And like the weather today, that day was cloudless and warm, sunny and beautiful.
It was perfection.
Of course, in the past 24 years not anniversary is like that.
But isn’t that how metaphors usually go?
Last night, we sat outside and looked beyond the trees, to see glimpses of the small lake hidden behind them. I asked him if him- then could imagine us-now.
He didn’t think so. Neither did I
We have never been 5 year plan kinda people. I’m not sure we are 2 year plan kinda people.
And I can’t decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Maybe we just prefer surprises?
But in this life of ours, we have learned that what is most important is to know which child we are each in charge of looking after when three of them are under 3 years old. We have learned to never underestimate the power of bribery with food (don’t you dare judge) and that miscarriages, congenital heart defects in our baby and loss of humans we love can cause unbearable bumps in the road.
We are just grateful we have had our seatbelts on.
We have learned that when one job is lost, you must always celebrate that evening (and maybe the evening following) because deep down you believe, together, that life is happening for you.
And then you leave Portland, your home for nearly 20 years, and move to Michigan because of a house.
And life changes
And when another job is lost, you celebrate again even if, this time, it feels more scary
Then you buy a building (because why wouldn’t you?) and start a business because that was only ever sort of in the plan.
You hold your breath
and then put as much faith into the unknown as you do one another,
Because that’s what you do.
At least, that is what we did.
So maybe it’s not as good as a five year plan
But maybe
if possible
it’s a little bit better.