05/10/2020
As I reflect on the beauty of having a mother for 21 years and our time together, I also think about the love, laughter and life lessons I’ve received from mothers-of-the bride and Mitzvah mom’s over the years. Connecting with families is what I love most about being a wedding, party and Mitzvah planner. I am so grateful to my clients who have shared their mothers with me, especially these five moms, who taught me to be a better person, party planner, leader and entrepreneur:
Jeanie
Life Lessons: The little big things matter most. We are here on earth not to beat each other down but to lift each other up.
I wished I paid attention in Geometry class. It would have been useful when working with Jeanie. I had the honor of planning her daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Jeanie immediately welcomed me into her home operation. I was there at least three times a week and as we got closer to the big weekend, I was there every morning. Jeanie would ask about the shapes of the lemon wedges and garnishes for the bar, the dimensions and design of salt and pepper shakers. This woman was about her details and I loved/hated it!
Sherri
Life Lesson: When you expand your way of thinking, the doors of opportunity will open for you.
Sherri is one of my favorite people. She’s funny, direct and I just love her. It’s funny because I was friends with her daughter eight years prior to the wedding and we had never met. We had a good time together at the wedding but it was after Sherri and I became family. After an awesome 2015, my wedding business slowed down in 2016. I was depressed and struggled to book new business. Sherri was in DC visiting from Minneapolis and we talked about it. She said, “Trenard, people are getting married and having weddings all over the world. You don’t have to just stay still in DC. Get on the road and get some clients!” I hit it to Atlanta, New York, Seattle and Charlotte. I became a nomad for two years and had clients all over the place!
Barbara
Life Lesson: No matter how you’re feeling it’s our duty to be present for the people we love. We are not allowed to take a break from relationships.
I loved this lady. While planning her daughter’s wedding, Barbara was battling cancer but she was there every step of the way. During hair and make-up time, she asked me for crackers and Ginger Ale. I dashed out on foot to the nearest CVS in Center City Philadelphia and was back in 15 minutes! She said, “Wow! Are you a genie? You’ve got to be a genie!” She made me feel I could do anything! Years later as my party planning career got bigger, I realized I couldn’t do it all myself but there was a lot of power within me to get s**t done.
Barbara passed away a few months after the wedding and is truly missed.
Shoshanna "Shosh"
Life Lesson: Never take “no” for an answer. Even though they haven’t done it before doesn’t mean it can't be done.
When I first met Shosh. She greeted me with a tough, straight face. You know, the look that says, ‘I will kick your ass if you mess up my daughter’s wedding look’. I pretended not to be afraid of her and gave her a big hug. I can tell she was shocked but I’m a big hugger (Y'all know this). LOL
Shosh, who lived abroad, scheduled time for me, was always available to talk and supported me on all of my big ideas. There’s one particular centerpiece idea that I really liked for the wedding and vendors were telling me no. I said to her two weeks before the wedding, “ I don’t think I can pull this off. I can’t find anyone who is willing to create this for me the way we want it” She shook her head at me and said, "ah, ah, ahhhh… no, no, no.. I fell in love with this idea and you need to make it happen." And we did!
Mrs. Smith
Life Lessons: Be resourceful. Speak up! Trust yourself - lead and the rest will follow.
Mrs. Smith is my southern sweetheart - simply beautiful with lots of class! Forget salmon and mixed veggies, we had halibut and broccolini and top-of-the-line floral arrangements on guest tables. She could get me to do anything! She told me when we first met, “Tray-nard, I don’t want to have a frown on my face at my only daughter’s wedding and that’s something you don’t want either!” I thought my life was over when the bridesmaids showed up to the church a few minutes before the wedding with no bouquets! I started one wedding late at this point and I didn’t want this to happen again. Time was running out and Mrs. Smith said, “Grab a bunch of those yellow single orchids from the foyer arrangements and get these girls down the aisle now!” This mishap happened because I didn't go with my intuition, which was a totally different plan.. (a story for another post).
