Holy Spirit Hustler

Holy Spirit Hustler Keep on keeping on friends.

Ah yes, the final chapter…I LOVED — like friggen loved our Holy Spirit Hustler days together. UGH, those were legit the ...
05/20/2025

Ah yes, the final chapter…

I LOVED — like friggen loved our Holy Spirit Hustler days together. UGH, those were legit the best. I could squeeze the memories right now- like cuteness overload feels.

Y’all have been a BLESSING to me and to my spirit.

I wanted to test out using this space again and it has been confirmed, I need to move onto a new pen name, a new season.

I wanted to rebrand this platform but I simply can not!! Like at all. It’s to precious here. It’s so full of hope and love and support and confetti. I ain’t changing that. Let’s keep that, but I also need to move on.

I have a book title now. I never did before but I finally do. It’s not going to be the book you’re expecting, but it will be the one I will write. 🖤

Love you all. Farewell my friends. Keep on keeping on.

(Can’t really say goodbye if I’m on IG still 24/7. Find me over at )

For all the moms of toddlers out there, it’s 8 o’clock somewhere. 😉 Happy Mother’s Day. There is a lot more I could say ...
05/11/2025

For all the moms of toddlers out there, it’s 8 o’clock somewhere. 😉 Happy Mother’s Day.

There is a lot more I could say on this beautiful, but also typically sorrowful day for some of you. But for right now. I’m hustling to bedtime. 🖤

Have you ever been on the other side of healing and actually been able to now see the good through the bad? And no, trus...
05/10/2025

Have you ever been on the other side of healing and actually been able to now see the good through the bad?

And no, trust me I am not talking about a silver lining or “everything happens for a reason” or even “what’s God teaching me though this”.

Sometimes people abuse you, and life mistreats you, and I’m for certain now it was not part of “God’s plan.” That’s a whole other topic, the idea of “can good come from pain…” sure, of course. My life verse used to be Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Oh goodness, this was not the direction this post was supposed to go… 👀 yeah, ummm 😮‍💨.

I made my LIFE about making sure others didn’t feel pain or have to deal with their problems alone. And there are MANY wins from that. Such beautiful stories and moments. But also a lot of loss… loss of my own moments. Loss of reality. Loss of perseverance and being able to sit in the pain of healing.

Okay, that has to be for another day. The point was ‼️ that I saw someone celebrating today. They were celebrating a milestone that I thought I was going to hit someday too. I thought even reading it would bubble up the anger, the annoyance, the blame of how others treated me — but it didn’t.

I remembered some good times. I was softened to the memories. As Iscrolled through some photos, I actually enjoyed it.

One of my friends told me that all the hustlers & boss babes are now in their “soft girl eras” and I can see why.

There is a possibility of healing SO good that you can see the goodness through the trees. You can hold the joy and still know that there was wrong WITHOUT explaining it away.

If this last decade taught us anything —you already know what I’m gonna say— joy and pain can exisist at the same time. 🖤

I left the town I was from, but I didn’t mean to leave the people…My sisters were barely in elementary school when I mad...
05/09/2025

I left the town I was from, but I didn’t mean to leave the people…

My sisters were barely in elementary school when I made the big hike across the country. I’ve missed graduations, birthdays, and heartaches. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and already overcame it by the time I even got to book a flight to see her.

I’ve seen probably two viral videos on the Internet of what it feels like to be the one that left.

…It’s not as common. It’s not as talked about as I’d like it to be.

Country songs sometimes get it right. They talk about the same old people, in the same old bars, and there is such a joy to that. There is such a familiar comfort to that.

I’m glad I started over. I’m so glad I met David. I’m glad I see the sunshine and the palm trees — but no one really gets what it’s like to miss so many phone calls….

What it’s like to listen to voicemails instead of being with your people. What it’s like to have to explain your past to people instead of them just knowing it.

I’ll be heading East Coast for few days this summer. I’m very thankful for that. In order to do so I leave my family to be with my family, ya know?

There’s no poetic ending to this post. Just some thoughts God & I chat about often with a mix of thankfulness and some pain. 🖤

PC:Ash Baumgartner

Can you still make art when you lose your muse? It was so easy to write when I had something I was battling. I had so mu...
05/08/2025

Can you still make art when you lose your muse?

It was so easy to write when I had something I was battling.

I had so much bitterness in my life to contrast against. It’s an easy write when there is evil to give background and depth to it all.

The darkness has been gone for a few years now there’s not much conflict, if any at all. The days are easy and the nights are peaceful. The peace doesn’t leave much room for an ache, manic passion, and the need to release all of that in the form of tears, yelling, and poetry.

It’s been years since I doubted my own worth.

It’s been half a decade since I felt guilty for choices.

Losing my muse & then my coping mechanism has been the best part of my life.

When I didn’t feel like I needed to be saved constantly from my choices, I stopped trying to save everyone else too.

It’s been refreshing. It was unexpected. I didn’t know I carried so much that belonged to others. I didn’t know I gave my life to pray that others wouldn’t have to feel their pain.

I stopped. I healed. I still listen, but I don’t save. I don’t muse. And because of that sometimes I have nothing to write. 🖤

PC:

A lots changed since the pandemic hasn’t it? Sometimes I find it strange how we talk about it. Life was been completely ...
05/07/2025

A lots changed since the pandemic hasn’t it?

Sometimes I find it strange how we talk about it. Life was been completely stalled and changed the dynamics of everything. And here we are barely acknowledging it most days. The times just keep on keeping on. Unprecedented and all.

Being home on maternity leave allows me some extra space like it did back in those days. Makes me thankful for the stillness and peace being at home brought me. But also makes me ache sometimes for the adventures of life outside these walls.

Do you remember it? March 2020?

April 2020?

What did you gain?

What did you lose?

I think about it often. Highschoolers who never got to go to prom, college kids who never got to play their last baseball game, marriages that split, but then many, like mine, marriages that were strengthened. 🖤

I’d truly love to hear from you. Think back. Take a minute. What did you gain? What did you lose?

Has your mind and spirit reconciled all of it yet? Or did time keep time-ing on?

PC: Ash Baumgartner

Go change the world— until the world changes you. At first, you’ll feel unstoppable and then well you’ll get stopped.I c...
05/06/2025

Go change the world— until the world changes you.

At first, you’ll feel unstoppable and then well you’ll get stopped.

I can’t say that I wish upon anyone the reality of how harsh life can be, but it’s all just part of the poetic confusion of our existence.

There will be days you’re on top of the world, reaching your dreams, gliding on good vibes then —- as the old saying goes “Mama told me there would be days like these.”

I still wish upon all young people the innocence, carefree joy we all wish we still had.

Most of us can still articulate the exact day we lost it. For some it’s a slow death of mistakes, mishappenings and miscarriages.

I’m sending out a high school graduation card and I mean it. “Go change the world” I tell her. Because she can and she will.

But I have to say the older I get, I realize the world will also change us.

The game hasn’t changed, but the player has.I saw my old “Holy Spirit Hustler” Instagram today and it stopped me in my t...
05/05/2025

The game hasn’t changed, but the player has.

I saw my old “Holy Spirit Hustler” Instagram today and it stopped me in my tracks. That girl felt so sure. So loud with her faith. So ready to post scripture and encouragement like clockwork. And I loved her. I really did.

But lately, I haven’t felt like I’m in a place to give spiritual advice. Not because I don’t believe in hope or healing or redemption—I do. But I’ve been rethinking some parts of my faith. I’ve been experiencing God a little quieter. I’ve been unraveling some spiritual wrong I’d been experienced.

I still want to uplift women. I still want to talk about the seasons of life and the emotions that come with them. I just may not be quoting Philippians or Proverbs while I do it…. I’m finally okay with that myself, but it’s also okay for others to not understand.

When I posted that poll the other day asking if I was “allowed” to rebrand, it was half a joke. I already knew the answer. I was never going to stop sharing. It’s woven into my life fabric. Whether 5 people see it or 500—it feels like home to write. To show up. To process in real-time.

So this isn’t goodbye to the Hustler. It’s just a shift.
I’m still here. Just with a little confusion, a lot of honesty. Still seeking freedom & joy.

Different words. Same heart.
Still me.

I very much considered doing a rebrand. And I still might. For those of you seeing this, you know I missed writing here ...
05/04/2025

I very much considered doing a rebrand.

And I still might.

For those of you seeing this, you know I missed writing here deeply. I missed hearing the sweet whispers of the Holy Spirit and sharing them with you.

Let’s see what happened first. Ah yes, 2021, the year of deep healing. Needed it. Got it. 😮‍💨

Then Luke! 😍

Then entrepreneurship. My marketing consulting business kept me busssyyyy. 😴

Then baby girl, Lily. 💕

Now, me, my thoughts, and late nights on maternity leave.

I’m wrestling with a lot of what I used to believe. And trust me I don’t want to take anyone down a path they don’t want to go down.

I want to write. I want to share. It just may not be filled with scripture anymore —-and that’s okay. This is my season to reassess.

So if you stay here following along just know you’ll still be encouraged to believe, pray & hustle— but I also want to give you the freedom to distance yourself from a voice in the Holy Spirit Wrestling season.

Much love to you all & so glad to be back 🖤

I’ve been having a very hard time with the “If I met my younger self for coffee” trend. A very hard time. Would I tell h...
05/03/2025

I’ve been having a very hard time with the “If I met my younger self for coffee” trend.

A very hard time.

Would I tell her how bad things got?
Or would I raise her expectations and tell her about how good other things got?

Would I help warn her about him?
Would I tell her about my David?

If I met my younger self for coffee, I would definitely have to pick up the bill.

I’d tell her that she should consider the jobs her Dad tells her about, the ones that pay the bills. Or would I? We did some incredible work back in the day with little care of “what to drink or what to wear” like the wildflowers Jesus speaks of.

There was a playfulness to her that I miss. That I’ll never get back. But yet again there was a void in her that caused a lot of pain and I’m so thankful to have been healed now.

A large part of me thinks I wouldn’t say anything. Maybe I would let her chat me up like she always did. Maybe I would tell her she should become a better listener— that would have done us well in life 😂

Here’s what I know, she was beautiful, she relied fully on God, and I’m living out her prayers now. So maybe, I would just simply thank her.

Thank her for being brave. Thank her for showing up day after day. Thank her for seeking out the good in life. Thank her for leaning into the hustle.

Yeah, actually I’m just going to thank her. 🖤

Thank you.

Right now on maternity leave, I’ve been thinking back on my life a lot. Reflecting. Healing. Learning. Pictured here, my...
05/02/2025

Right now on maternity leave, I’ve been thinking back on my life a lot. Reflecting. Healing. Learning.

Pictured here, my first job as a social worker— living on nothing but ramen noodles and encouragement from the Holy Spirit.

On the best days I was changing diapers and hanging out with teenage parents. The chaos of it looks a lot like my life now— managing pick up schedules, daycare & group therapy.

Right now feels like such a full circle moment. Changing my own kiddos diapers. Living out the prayers I prayed way back then. It’s nice to just sit back and remember, this is what I believed for. This is what I prayed for. This is what I hustled for. Praise God, Praise God, Praise God.

At my first job (peep the photo) our work was overwhelming. We saw about 300 youth a day come through our crumbling buil...
05/02/2025

At my first job (peep the photo) our work was overwhelming. We saw about 300 youth a day come through our crumbling building. We offered basketball, case management, cheer, and group therapy. We had few staff, great volunteers, and not much funding. Constantly falling behind on to-do lists, my boss once said, “Well, gotta do something.” I love this phrase for so many reasons. It’s resonated with me deeply.

First, we can’t (well, we can—but let’s not) get overwhelmed by having so much to do that we feel like we can’t make a real difference. Just do the next best thing. “Gotta do something.”

Second, if you look outside your little bubble, things are not good for a lot of people—and we gotta do something.

Third, you can complain all you want, but it’s not gonna change things. In order for things to change, you gotta do something.

Today, that phrase was on my mind deeply. This was my second week back at the gym in almost four years and the joyful new-ness has worn off 😮‍💨 I told myself: I still have to do something.

In order to stay in the game, I wrote down a few reminders today:
• If you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
• Stop hiding. You have to do something you’re not good at. That’s how you actually build confidence.
• Arrange your world. Getting things set up is the most important part of the goal-setting process. The more prepared you feel, the less awkward it is. You can’t be perfect on your first try, but you can get better each time. (Example: accidentally wearing a pumping bra to the gym instead of a sports bra three days in a row—so I bought a gym bag and now pack it the night before.)
• Go! Then modify as needed.
• There’s actually a ton of research showing that we’re motivated by gamifying something. Mine is my Apple Watch.
• Lastly, please celebrate your wins—not just because it sounds good, but because your brain reacts to it and will stay motivated to keep going.

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Our Story

It started with a fight, obviously. I wanted to write a mission statement for a possible business and as I read my first draft out loud to myself as David walked by and whispered “that’s way too long”. I threw the papers to the side, shot him a dirty look and went to get ready for my workout, full of nothing but annoyance. I was busting out some pretty good angry push ups when it hit me in a whirlwind. “What DO we do?!” I asked.... “We believe, we pray, we hustle” BOOM. Next, “we do what we can” (because we all bring different talents, abilities, schedules) “to make Him known” (that truly is the purpose) “stay in unity” (and Lord if that ain’t a spiritual gifting in 2020 I don’t know what is) “and bring Heaven to earth”. (That’s the peace, that’s the joy, thats the community, that’s what truly happens). And out of my inability to take redirection, but my need to create something better, it was born. Holy Spirit Hustler is a community that creates content and events that bring you closer to God, to community, and to yourself again.

As a Holy Spirit Hustler we believe Jesus when He said that He was leaving us a friend, an advocate, a comforter, a “spirit of Holiness”. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would never leave us nor abandon us, and therefore, we can be bold and courageous in our faith. He promised that the same Holy Spirit would inspire us to remember all Jesus said, empower us to obey God’s word, help us do “greater works than these”, and fill us with a “peace that passes all understanding”. We have access to the fruits of the Spirit at all times: “Joy that overflows, peace that subdues, patience that endures, kindness in action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit.” We also know that the gifts and peace Jesus offers us are without revoke and are not given as the world gives, but given fully.

Our events, #theNOWseries, have been awakening lost dreams, inspiring women to create again, and building life-giving friendships since 2017. Join the community with us as we believe, pray and hustle for God to be more known.