12/03/2025
I lost my boy, Bennie on December 6, 2024
He had been living with Cushing’s disease for a little over a year and we were able to give him an “in home hospice”because his story deserved gentleness, comfort, and familiar walls.
I was with him when he took his last breath.
I felt him leave.
It gutted me in a way I never expected.
Benny and I shared something intuitive, something spiritual.
When he died, the grief that hit me was new, heavy, immeasurable.
After he passed, I bought a plaque with his picture planning to mark his grave. I couldn’t bring myself to put it outside.
I kept it in my bedroom beside two LED candles that only worked by remote One day I walked into the bedroom and the candles were lit. I thought I had forgotten to turn them off. But few days later the candles were glowing again. And this time I knew it was my Bennie. His way of telling me he was okay Since that moment, the candles have turned on again and again. Not once. Not twice. But 65 times.
65 moments where the room felt lighter. 65 moments where grief softened just enough for me to breath. 65 little signs saying “I’m here”.
It has been the most unexpected beautiful gift. And now as his one year anniversary approaches, I find myself hoping he doesn’t stop. Because feeling him near, feeling that flicker of light he sends me…
It has been healing, magical, and so deeply comforting.
What a boy.
What a love.
What a light he still is.
Swipe to see a few of the times he’s lit the candles.