02/08/2025
Choosing right partner is very hard thing in life. Sometime situation occurs in everyone's life in that situation if your life partner starts to show true colors. Then please leave instantly. More you are attached with emotions more you will get hurt.
#48964
Female 32-Sydney
why am I doing this to myself?
Eight years ago, I came to Australia with my husband. I was 23 young, full of dreams, and freshly married to the man I chose despite every warning from my family. He was 30 at the time. Ours was a love marriage , one I believed in more than anything. My family didn’t approve, as they thought I deserved better. But I trusted my heart.
I’ve always been career-driven, short-tempered but emotionally mature. He knew all of that and still wanted to marry me. He didn’t come from money, and I lied to my family , told them he was an engineer. That lie still stands today.
Like most immigrant couples, we struggled in the early days. But we didn’t complain. I worked 20 hours a week while doing my nursing degree, and he worked 6 to 7 days a week. I cooked, cleaned, and supported him in every way I could. I believed that’s what love meant , sacrifice, commitment, loyalty.
At the time, he used to pay for rent and groceries while I saved money for our future. Not anymore. Now everything is 50-50 every bill, every cost, every burden.
But just six months into our marriage, I found out he was talking to my own friend behind my back. I confronted him. He never acknowledged it, never apologized.
Still, I stayed. I believed love could fix it.
But it didn’t stop there. Late-night chats with other women, segual conversations , it kept happening. I kept confronting him. He kept brushing it off. I kept forgiving him. Then he went to Nepal and met up with a married woman he’d been talking to. They travelled together. I found their photos through a shared Apple ID. When I confronted both of them, they said it was "just a mistake." His family and friends' response?
"Men cheat. Move on."
Still, I stayed.
Then came the ga-b-ling , thousands of dollars gone, mostly while I worked night shifts. I fought, I cried, I begged him to stop. His parents told me to be patient. Told me not to tell my own family. His mother even advised me to open a separate bank account and I did. I saved. We bought land in his mother’s name. She promised she’d transfer it to me. She never did. I gave him $70,000 from my savings. He paid the rest. We got permanent residency back inn2021. I wanted to start a family. I started paying for private health insurance to go through the private system. I was trying to build a future. Then came TikTok. He gifted over $8,000 to women online strangers, singers. All while never once buying me a gift unless I asked. Never showing me affection unless I begged for it.
I asked him for his bank statements , not for his money, just his papers, because I was trying to apply for a home loan. He refused. That’s when I found out he had sent $1,000 to a TikToker in a single day. That was my answer. He was hiding everything from me.
Still, I stayed.
We haven’t been a couple in years. Separate rooms. No real conversations, only logistics. And when I got seriously sick for three months , he never once asked what was wrong.
His parents are here now, trying to “fix” things by pressuring us to have a child. But how do you build a child in a house full of silence? I’m 32. He’s nearly 39. Everyone says, “Have a child. He’ll change.” But I feel invisible. Unloved. Used. Trapped.
Still, I stay.
And I don’t know why.
My friends and family ask me why I haven’t left yet. The truth is , I never learned how to live without him. I feel guilty. Guilty for the thought of leaving him alone. Guilty because he worked so hard while I was a student. Maybe it’s fear — fear of being alone, of starting over at 32, of what people will say. Maybe it’s just habit. Or maybe… maybe deep down, I still hope he’ll become the man I once believed in.
But why can’t I leave? Why, God, why?
Even though I’ve never truly felt chosen in this marriage. Even though I’ve sacrificed my dreams, my peace, even my chance at motherhood — for someone who won’t even say sorry.
I'm tired.
Tired of holding on to something that's already broken.
Tired of justifying the pain.
Tired of being the only one who ever tried.
Has anyone been through something like this? Is there a solution? Why can’t I leave him?
