05/08/2026
At the start of 2025, during our discipleship retreat, I remember asking the Lord to do the following:
“Lord, floor me.”
I wanted Him to reveal Himself to me in such a way that it would overwhelm me completely. I remember reading 1 Corinthians 2:9 “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived... these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit."
Looking back, I realize I had no idea what I was truly asking. Yet I can tell you, He did. I was floored. If I had known what would lay ahead in 2025, I might never have prayed that prayer. But today, I am thankful, because in what became the hardest year of my life, He revealed Himself in ways I will never forget. And wouldn’t want to take away.
Brace yourselves, this is a long read. 😊
On 5 August 2025, exactly a year ago, I was admitted to hospital for what was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic removal of an intestinal obstruction. Instead, it turned into an 8 hour operation. Great was the unpleasant surprise when they came upon a “Frozen abdomen”. The result of a procedure done when I was just a baby. They worked all through the night, but by 5 AM they had to close up because I had been sedated for too long.
When I woke, I immediately sensed something had gone terribly wrong. My mother travelled from Windhoek with my father, and when I was finally conscious, she broke the news: I had undergone an extremely long surgery, and now I had two stomas…
This was heavy for me.
That first month in ICU was the longest of my life. I don’t think I could ever really express how I felt… As a naturally positive person, I had always faced crises with the attitude: “There’s nothing we can’t handle, let’s just handle it.”
But this time around it was different.
I felt trapped in a hole, stripped of all strength and certainty. For the first time, I questioned God’s plan for my life. Would I survive? Would the stomas be permanent? What would life look like for me now?
I realized, in a way that I never had before, that I had no control. Yes, you might say this is obvious as a child of God, but you guys… We really don’t have control over what life throws at us. I was utterly reliant on the Lord for everything. And yes, He floored me.
😭😭😭
(I’m sobbing)
In that place of weakness, I experienced His comfort in a profound way.
I felt stripped of everything, as if I stood naked in body and soul before Him.
I even remember my pain being so intense that I thought, “To die, would be to gain.” Yet even then, He met me. For instance, here He reminded me of what pain felt like on the Cross.
This brought me to tears EVERY TIME because I couldn’t imagine pain worse than what I felt, but I knew it was way worse.
Oh Jesus, what did You have to endure?😭
I’m sorry!
On my last day in ICU, just before discharge, Jennifer, our home cell leader, sent me a prayer. As I listened, something shifted in the atmosphere.
For the first time in ICU, I felt a divine encounter. The Holy Spirit highlighted Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Hope filled me. I prayed for a divine touch, imagining the Lord aligning every cell and organ in my body with His design.
I thought, “Well Lord, if I am then allowed, I would want to grant the request of my complete healing, a full recovery”.❤️🩹
Eugene later confirmed this promise with a dream, and for 8 months we held onto it.
I know healing is such a difficult concept, because we don’t always understand why healing doesn’t come immediately or even at all. But this time around, only because of that encounter, it felt like I was allowed to look forward to that healing.
After discharge, I faced complicated wound care and poor wound healing, a fistula in the small intestine and I was eventually referred to the Intestinal Failure Clinic in Cape Town.
Returning to Swakopmund, I began adapting to life with a stoma. Two actually, the other one was a mucus fistula. This humbled me deeply.
My outlook towards my stoma wasn’t negative at all. I realized that it saved my life. And it’s actually quite amazing that it is medically possible to see the inside of my intestinal wall. Yup, I know what you’re thinking, but I've really learned so much about my body. God really thought of EVERYTHING.
In terms of medical resources, finances, strength, and resilience, the Lord met every need. I realized that nothing I had was my own, it was all His grace. He met with me in whatever I needed. This is how I coped. I’ve cried this daily, "Lord, I need you NOW" 😭
By early 2026, I felt depleted. I told the Lord, “I cannot ask You to floor me again. But please, reveal to me how much You love me.” That became my only request.
He already knew my request, but inside I really just wanted to know how much He really loves me. I craved that deep revelation.
On 18 March 2026, I was booked for my reversal surgery in Cape Town. Professor Boutall explained the risks, and as I entered the theatre, my body shook uncontrollably.
And even though I knew God had me, my body responded so differently.
I cried out in tears and panic, “Lord, show me how much You love me!!!”
Just before anesthesia, the doctor reassured me: “Don’t worry, Jeaneane. I’m going to be here the whole time. In fact, everyone here today’s only job is to focus on taking care of you.” That is when I realized I was the only patient booked for theater that day! All those experts had been booked by God for me. As I drifted into sleep, I felt Holy Spirit’s encouragement: “This is how much I love you.”
There is so much more I could share, but even in the hardest seasons, I can look back and say: He is faithful. He never left me. His love was unconditionally revealed through doctors, nurses, family, and friends. The strength I had was most certainly not my own. The healing was not my own. Everything was grace from Him. I know it.😭😭😭
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I want you to challenge yourself and ask the Lord to reveal how much He loves you… and who knows He might just *floor You.*
I am still in recovery, and this season has brought its own challenges. My body is learning to adapt again, especially with food absorption, and it takes time. This has opened my eyes to the struggles of those living with chronic illness or hidden disabilities. Imagine having diarrhea for two weeks, sorry for the raw information but I’ve been battling it for 3 months plus. So often, we don’t realize what others are silently battling. My heart goes out to patients with chronic diarrhoea and similar conditions, and I want to encourage us all to be more gracious with the people around us, because much of their suffering is unseen.
My dreams have shifted in ways I never chose. I find myself celebrating small things I once took for granted. At times, I grieve quietly, because it feels like no one notices. Yet it is in those moments of hidden pain that Jesus meets me most tenderly.
He carries me through, and I know He understands, no one knows suffering better than Him.
Chronic illness has taught me that healing is not always about “getting better.”
Sometimes it means discovering how to live fully despite persistent symptoms. Feeling well is a luxury, but I would not trade the ways I have experienced the Lord’s presence and the Holy Spirit’s tenderness in this journey.
What a privilege to have Him as my Comforter, because one day He won’t need that title anymore.
The Lord has changed what I believe healing is and has given healing a lot of different meanings. He has healed me from being self-reliant and He has healed me from taking the small things for granted. I still hold on to the hope of complete physical healing, but for now, on my journey to physical healing, I will celebrate what He has healed in me spiritually.
